Teaching babies to self-settle: success & tips with non CIO/CC methods?

[LoopyLa]

Hi all

I have a beautiful 11 month old son who wakes up multiple times in the night. We have a good consistent night routine & nap routine but he cannot go back to sleep by himself & it's exhausting myself & DH.
I want to teach him to self settle but am very averse to controlled crying/cry it out methods.
Has anyone had any success with other 'gentler' methods at all? Please can you share your stories & tips? I love DS to pieces, he's my whole world but starting to feel like sleep deprivation is affecting my mental health & I don't want to start taking my tiredness out on him which is what I'm worried I'll do
Please help, all thoughts appreciated!

Well both of mine were dreadful sleepers and once they could self settle, it didn't mean they slept through, it just meant they slept a bit better but still had rubbish nights. Just to set expectations!
Does he sleep in a cot? In his own room?
I basically would feed ds/dd and they wouldn't fall asleep on the boob, so I'd rock to sleep. Then I would put them down after they had relaxed but were not asleep and pop them down on their fronts and say night night and stroke their backs:/pat bums then leave the room to see if they would sleep. If they grumbled I'd give it 5-10 mins but if they were upset then I'd go back in and rock to sleep. Basically that's what I'd do every night until they'd self settle. They both first did it around 6/7 'months but we always had/have (for dd who's 22 months) phases where they need me a bit more. It wasn't a clear "plan" just giving them a chance to self settle regularly.

I would rule out other causes of night waking - for us we had silent reflux/wind to deal with, made worse by what they ate (dairy was the main culprit but foods like onions and peas/brocolli would give them dreadful wind).

I also find having a bed in their room helps as I can hop on there and sleep and settle them with my voice! Doesn't always work though.

My 5.5mo has gone from being fed to sleep to being able to self-settle over the past few weeks. It took a lot of work. Firstly I had to stop her from falling asleep at bedtime feed - so I kept lights on and didn't put her in sleeping bag until after feed. Then I read her quick story on my lap (same book each night) then put her down

At first it required a lot of pick-up-put-down combined with rubbing her chest while saying soothing words ('it's ok, it's just bedtime'). But I tried to make sure I wasn't holding or patting all the way to sleep. Then it just one day I put her down and left room and she was asleep within 15 mins all on her own! However, we regressed again last night (lots of cuddling required) and it doesn't seem to have made a huge difference to how many times she wakes up at night (although I have heard her wake up and settle herself back down a few times).

I think whatever method you choose, consistency is key as is having a cast iron bedtime routine.