Can't get 8MO to sleep

[LetThereBeCupcakes]

Have posted before about sleep issues. Things just keep getting worse. Ds had his bedtime feed at 6.30pm and fell asleep on the breast. I moved him to his cot. He woke at 9.30 and I stupidly thought I could get him back to sleep without feeding. By the time I realized I couldn't do it, it was too late. I've been feeding, rocking, patting etc and nothing works, he just stays awake and screams. I'm completely broken, can't stop crying and yet again feeling I can't take much more. What do I do? I have shouted at him, always swore I wouldn't treat my DS the way my mother treated me but I am just like her. He deserves so much better.

Don't be so hard on yourself. The times I've got short-tempered with 5 MO DD are in the midst of sleep deprivation. I'm sure you're a great mother (if you weren't you wouldn't be worry about things as you are!)

Sorry no real advice other than to ask if you've tried helping DS learn to self-settle? That's made a difference for us, rather than DD falling asleep on boob at bedtime...

Shouting at a non sleeping baby in the middle of the night when you are at the end of your tether and on your knees with exhaustion is perfectly understandable. It doesn't make you a bad parent in the slightest. What you need to do at that point is step outside and take a deep breath, or get your partner and tell them that it's their turn.

Baby won't remember.

city I have tried everything I can think of to get him to self settle, nothing works. No matter how drowsy he is as soon as I put him in his cot his eyes spring open and the screaming starts. It's even worse now that he can crawl and pull himself up as he doesn't even give himself a chance to fall asleep.

noble DH works away in the week so nobody to hand DS to. He's not been a particularly hands-on Dad to be honest and doesn't really have a clue what to do with DS when he is here.

Aidan I am tired. He finally went to sleep at about 1am, on the third attempt at breastfeeding. He was up again at 3.30 and 5.30, then at 6.30 for the day. I tried TV and some toys but he just sat on the floor and screamed.

Sounds like over tiredness perhaps? How's his napping?

Don't even get me started on naps. He refuses, can take me an hour to get him to sleep and he'll only sleep for 20-30 minutes. I take him upstairs the second he pulls his ear (his first sleep sign) and do a quick little routine with him. Sometimes he dozes off OK but never sleeps for long.

Hiya it sounds like you are really struggle. We have all been there.

I wonder if a routine of sorts might help you both in the day. I don't always think you can go for first sleepy signals.

I would aim for 2 naps a day. One about 10, then other 2. Then bedtime about 7. For now feed him to sleep if that works and hold him for naps. Let him rest and you too if possible (get some books downloaded)

After a couple of days try to work on self settling (he will need to be rested first) Read the "what worked for me" thread and understand he will cry but have faith that he will sleep.

Good luck. You need emotional strength to deal with a crying baby but tiredness can make you unable to do so.

If you can't face making changes yet - that's OK. just look after yourself. Nap on a weekend. Call a friend during the week. Make sure you do because I'm sure you would do the same to them.

If it gets really bad call your HV. They have a bad rep on MN but mine have always been helpful and supportive.

I'm no expert, but I'd have thought better napping might help nighttime sleep. I too would do whatever it takes to make him sleep longer at nap time (sling? Sleeping on you? Very long walk in pram?) to help prevent overtiredness at night. DD (5mo) sleeps better at night if her lunchtime nap was decent (ie 1.25 hrs or longer).

My DD would only sleep for 20 minutes at naps unless I have her in a sling, or stay with her during the nap (usually holding her) and at the first sign of waking pop her back on the boob.

Not ideal, but overtiredness is worse.

If it's any consolation we had exactly the same scenario as in your OP the other night and she was awake and crying for hours even though I had tried to feed her back to sleep immediately. So it might not have been your mistake, he might have been like that anyway. She is currently cutting teeth which isn't helping.

halo he has gradually gotten himself into a routine which looks like this:
6am awake - breast feed
7am walk dogs (he used to sleep on the walk but doesn't now)
8am breakfast
9am nap - usually lasts 30 - 40 minutes but have had the odd 90 minutes - two hours out of him. He's usually bf'd to sleep and I transfer to cot if I can.
11am breast feed
Midday - lunch
1pm nap, bf to sleep and stays on my lap. Usually get an hour.
3pm bf offered. He rarely takes much. We then walk the dogs again.
5pm dinner - usually eats masses!
5.30pm bath
6pm story and bf
And he's usually asleep by 6.30
He usually wakes at 9.30, 12.30 and 3.30 during the night. One of those wake ups is usually a long one.
I will try all naps on me for a few days and see if that helps.