Please help me reverse this mess

[IcouldstillbeJoseph]

DD is 2nd DC and 8 months. Ebf.
Was a good sleeper up to about 5 months (averaging 8-10 hours) and then started getting worse. Thought solids would help.
She is now happily eating 3 meals a day. However she will hardly at all bf in the day. Gets v distracted (despite my best efforts) and will not do more than a couple of sucks.
Settles easily in evening - only to wake a lot during the night for feed after feed after feed. Last night was 6 times. Last feed was at 4:30am and then when she woke up at 7 she refused to bf again but happily ate all her porridge.
She can self settle. She's not teething. She's not poorly. Weight gain is good.
I just need to reverse this feeding pattern. I have a 2 yr old and it's killing me.
So how do I go about it? I don't think I can do controlled crying.
I've tried giving bottle of ebm overnight but she just takes 2-3oz and wakes again an hour or so later.
Please someone help me

Also - she won't take any water or ebm or anything from a cup in the day

What have you tried, so far, to encourage her to feed more in the day? I ask this as my dd became very distractible at that age too. Feeding her while out became impossible. I now feed her in the dark, lying down. At that age she fed first thing, before and after each nap (2 naps) at bedtime and then a dream feed. The dreamfeed was one of her best feeds as she was half asleep!

Have you tried gentle sleep training like pick-up-put-down to settle instead of feeding during night. Might require DP to do that so baby can't smell milk.

The distractable thing is infuriating. Mine was impossible at about 4mo - I spent a lot of time with my boobs out in public while she stared off into space at real and imaginary sounds and objects. That also coincided with increased night wakings for us too. I started doing more co-sleeping and giving her free access to boob while we both lay down/ snoozed in the wee hours. At least I got some rest that way!

Oh, meant to say, feeding her standing up and pacing about and/or jigging her around seemed to help distract from the distraction. Pretty much all daytime feeds were done standing up for a month or so!

I spoke to my brilliant HV today and she said I should resolve to not feed her until 22:30 (after bed at 18:30 ish) and then after that feed, not till 5:30-6. She said I should just pat her gently, no words etc.
Well, she will go completely bananas if I do that so I'm thinking I may try pu/pd instead? and just try my hardest not to feed her.
She said to offer water in a bottle if she is really crying to ensure she is not thirsty.
She has eaten a good tea this afternoon so I need to be strong I guess I also need some sort of lockable bra to stop me caving in

There is no way I can feed her quietly in day as I can't leave toddler alone for too long....

Happydaze - the thing is she won't even have a morning feed. She completely refuses to latch but I can take her straight downstairs and she will eat a bowl of porridge quite happily.
It's so infuriating

Well first night she woke at 21:00 and so I settled her with some mish-mash pu/pd shambles whilst chanting 'do not feed her do not feed her' in my head. Took 20 long minutes to settle her. She slept till 2, fed well and then woke at 6:30.
Last night was much, much better she woke at midnight, fed and then slept till 6:45.
I am sure the war is not won though. She's hardly had any solids today so I'm braving myself.
How old is your baby?
I've got tits like boulders

Yes - I'm happy to get up once (maybe twice at a push) but 6 times + was too much. Last night she slept from 18:30-3:20 which is the best for a long, long time.
Does your baby feed well in the day? Breast & solids?

My last post meant to say bracing myself, not braving, obv!