Going nuts over naps

[Pipistrellina]

DS is 5 months and his naps are all over the place. I’m really careful to look out for his tired signs and we have a great nap routine, after which he will quite often self-settle with only a brief, mild grizzle. But so often something throws it out – visitor, unexpected feed, the two-year-old wanting something – and once he’s overtired it’s a nightmare. On these occasions he’ll take an hour to get to sleep and may then wake up after 30 minutes and refuse to resettle. There goes my day and and the two year old's as well. It’s driving me nuts!

Another part of the problem is me being unwilling to go with the flow and let him have short or long naps as he chooses. I really want him to have long naps because then he is awake for longer afterward without getting tired, he gets less overtired before the next nap, and also because his elder sister never resettled ever after a nap as a baby (we didn’t know that we should try) and that caused problems later on when she woke too early from naps and didn’t know how to resettle herself.

Is this me being overtired (his night sleep is another story) and expecting too much, or is this something I can solve?

I'm not actually sure you can solve it (sorry!). My DD (5mo) used to only take short naps and only recently has started extending her lunchtime nap, but it's still hit and miss and it seems that nothing I do affects the length, really (unless I actively wake her up). Although, that being said, I do often work hard to re-settle her if she's woken up earlier than 45mins into the lunchtime nap. She always takes that one in the pram, so if she wakes up I try to carry on pushing her around (often over a bumpy surface helps) and she'll usually drop off again within 15-20 minutes and sleep for at least another hour. Morning and late-afternoon naps are both short (30-45mins), but that suits us.

I didn't do much to 'make' DD take a longer mid-day nap, I think she just grew into it (and she was an utter nightmare non-napper until about 4.5 months - just short crap naps and woke at the fart of a sparrow, unless she was in the sling or on us. Then all of a sudden she graduated to napping well in her cot/ pram)

yes my DS is 4 months and also wakes at the fart of a sparrow! lol. he is crap at daytime naps and will only sleep on me, if I put him in the Moses basket he wakes up immediately, and settling him at night is gradually getting harder and taking longer. why?!

I hear this. Ds2 is 4mo and Ds1 2.4. I seem to spend my days trying to make sure DS2 gets enough sleep and there is no rhyme nor reason to whether he naps for longer than 45mins or not, and I can't help but be disruptive with things like getting in and out of the pram/car seat on trips and errands for Ds1.

What seems to help him (and me only to a point) is adopting a sling and going for a walk when all else fails, or getting in the car for a drive (was never slingy with DS1 but it's saved my sanity several times). Like you, I do make an effort to put him down in his crib but this is hit or miss as the timing for him to self settle seems split second. The afternoons are hardest (post toddler nap) but I've started going out more before tea and this seems to help everyone - not sure what I'm going to do when it's dark at 3pm hope it's sorted itself out by then!

You need to let go a little. Honestly. There will be some days where it goes wrong and all you can do is put him to bed early!

Glad to hear everyone else is having the same experience (and you're right CreatureRetorts, I do need to let go a little). Perhaps it's just a waiting game, I do recall reading in the baby books that trying to implement any kind of routine in the day is a waste of time before 6 months (obviously I don't read Gina Ford!).

Oh and MrsDavies my DS was exactly like yours in only sleeping in the sling and never in his bed, but when carrying him around got too tiring for me we managed to teach him to sleep in his Moses basket. It was a case of working out what he liked (in our case rocking the basket, stroking his forehead, white noise) and then perseverance and repetition. I didn't think it was possible but it was easier than I expected! In the evening a bedtime routine of feed, bath, massage/song/story, feed, bed has worked wonders. Took a couple of weeks but now he goes down with barely a grizzle & is almost always asleep within 10 minutes.

pipistrellina you give me hope!