I think my child might be a robot......

[shatteredboo]

Hi everyone, I'm absolutely on my knees and desperately hoping someone can help me!!
I'm a FTM of a 7 week old EBF baby. DS is a generally very happy baby, extremely alert, smiley, thriving and putting on lots of weight. However, we are having incredible problems with his sleeping. We tried to establish a night time routine from around 3-4 weeks - bath, song, feed and bed for around 7pm - 8pm. He generally goes down well - we are putting him down when he is sleepy yet still awake and he seems to get himself off to sleep really well. He will sleep til around 1.30, then wakes for a feed. It is after this feed that all hell breaks loose, he will just not settle. I burp him well after the feed and he seems sleepy enough to be put back down. He will sleep for about 20 minutes then the grunting, thrashing and straining starts. It sounds like he is straining for a poo, but does seem to be asleep (eyes closed) as he is doing it. We have tried gripe water and infacol to ease his wind if that is the problem, but doesnt seem to have made much difference. I've tried cycling his legs, tummy massage but nothing relieves him. He will carry on like this for the rest of the night and after his next feed at around 4. Its the same story after his feed, grunting, thrashing etc , but not crying. IS it possible he is actually still asleep throughout all of this???? So I am getting around 4 hours sleep a night at the moment as I come to bed around 9 or 10pm.
But wait!! It doesnt stop there..... He wont nap well in the day either. I am desperately trying to read the signs he is tired - all the usual stuff and I put him down in his crib. I shush and pat, leave a radio on in the next room (if we're out he will sleep where it is noisy) but he just fights it. How long should I leave him to fuss? Some days he will have no nap at all and then have the same hellish night all over again. How is is surviving on this tiny amount of sleep???? Am i putting him to bed too early?? I feel like I must be doing something fundamentally wrong. Please help! Apologies if this is a total ramble, I AM SLEEP DEPRIVED.

Ok, firstly, this all sounds entirely normal for such a tiny baby. Sounds as if the night time grunting is more a problem for you than the baby - if he's got his eyes shut and isn't crying I'd say he's asleep! In which case he's doing very well at night for 7 weeks! I empathise thought - mine did exactly the same at this age and it's kind of annoying. I think it was wind as she'd sinetimes let out almighty farts in her sleep. I think it' just a phase as their little digestive systems develop. If it disturbs you could you and DP alternate nights sleeping in another room perhaps?

Re. naps - I think DS is awfully tiny to be self-settling and/ or left to fuss. But I'm a softie mother of a baby that would only nap on me or DP for first 3 months!

When you say he has no nap at all do you literally mean that he doesn't sleep at all during the day?? I used to think same of DD until I realised she did a lot of her daytime napping while feeding (little multi-tasker). If he really isn't sleeping then you could try a white noise machine/app or slinging him?

Thanks for your post. Well, I'm not sure if its a coincidence or what but last night was fantastic! He went from 8 (slightly later bed time) only with mini grunts at 3.30 and 5.30, only waking for a feed at 6.30! I feel freaking amazing today!!! I did try and stick to EASY routine yesterday and watched him like a hawk for signs of tiredness and really persevered - Maybe the sleep feeds sleep theory had a total of four half an hour naps - he seems to wake after that period and I dont have much joy trying to settle him back down again - thats todays goal!

I agree, I think the grunting is due to wind and/or immature digestive system, its possible he has a bit if reflux too thats making him uncomfortable as we get a far bit of possetting and spitty bubbles.
Let's hope tonight is ok too!

Thanks again!

Sounds like you're on the right track, I tried tirelessly to get my LO to go to bed at 6.30/7pm, and struggled to get her settled, she'd cry and get worked up. I changed bed time to 8/8.30 when she was around 9 weeks old and she settles so much better, sometimes with a couple of minutes crying :-) I will eventually try and pull bedtime back to an earlier hour, slowly, but that early on it was too early!

Re the wind and unsettledness...you said you've used Infacol, how long did you try it for? As it tends to work better the more you use it and if you use it consistently at each feed. We're trying to ween our LO off it, by missing a feed and its amazing the difference it makes at the mo, she becomes very unsettled very quickly and for the rest of the day (not ready to come off it the last time we tried, but trying once a week to see!)

Nap-wise, I offer a nap after 2 hours of awake time, unless LO shows signs of being tired earlier than this. She always fusses or cries a little when put in her cot, but I leave her for 5mins, then go back in, give her a kiss and tell her its sleepy time, then leave again. I then return 10mins after that...she's almost always asleep. They say good sleep in the day promotes good sleep at night, so more sleep in the day could probably help with the unsettled night :-)

Good luck!