8mth old BF to sleep a disaster waiting to happen or a natural routine?

[flark]

I folks I have an 8mth old wee boy who refuses bottles. I am currently trying the Pantley approach to night soothing to encourage self soothing (if such a thing exists hmm). However if I'm honest he is mostly asleep (albeit not completely) when I put him down. Lately he started refusing to have his Dad settle him with tears and roars if I don't feed him back to sleep again. I am anxious that the sleep associations we have are solely focused on BF and that he will never settle for anyone else when the need occurs. Anyone with older babies and similar experiences please???

Talking with friends I discovered there is no right or wrong answer. Personally I found we always bf to sleep and then had to do the gradual retreat method once the bedtime routine became unmanageable or they were waking too much in the night. However some friends bf to sleep but they grew out if it on their own. Ds1 needed a very structured approach but it was more hit and miss with ds2 and 3. A very wise hv said to me that it is only a sleep problem if it is causing your family a problem.

Thanks lorisparkle good to hear from someone with a variety of sleepers in the family! I know, no two babies are the same. My gut tells me that this is simply what he needs right now but I hear so much about self soothing I do worry I am interfering with that. Your HV was right though, there have only been a few times where it has been a problem, his rejection of Daddy is one of those times...

Elizabeth pantley describes a useful technique in "the no cry sleep solution"
It heled me. Gradually

Thanks Therealamandaclarke, good to know. I am trying to encourage him to come of the breast before he's fast asleep, like Pantley suggests. So patience is the virtue I am lacking then?...... I'll muster some if it works in the long run.

Sleep issues are utterly soul destroying.
I have really been at the end of my tether with this.
It took a while but now my ds sleep from 7ish until 630 -730. Every night. I chose to not let him CIO or to use cc but I think he just grew out of crap sleeping tbh. It will happen for you.

I'm just trying to enjoy it. My mum would love to have a baby to feed asleep each night. It's a special time and a precious time. Sometime's it frustrates me but I know I'll miss it when she grows out of it.

Thanks Therealamandaclarke hope on the horizon. And rolypolyroll it is good to be reminded how lucky I am and I do note that everyday, just trying to 'get it right' for him (if ever there was such a thing).

If it's any help I used to feed dd to sleep but at about 5 months it wasn't always effective. So I fed dd as normal, lying down with her and then I just lay with her until she was asleep. I found that being as boring as possible/pretending to be asleep worked best.
Sometimes it was almost instant, sometimes it took a few minutes and, yes, sometimes she became very distraught - when this happened I would cuddle her and then lie down with her again, sometimes re-feeding, sometimes not. Then when she was asleep I would sneak off. It means she slept on our bed for her naps and also from bedtime until dreamfeed, which was ok as she couldn't roll over then. I really think this helped her to self sooth and we then progressed to feeding lying down followed by moving straight to cot (we had to do this as she had learnt to roll).

Thanks Happydaze, I haven't been co-sleeping but sometimes very much wish we were!

I'm in exactly the same situation with my dd. she had been waking 2/3 times a night most nights. I will read this thread with interest.

I have bf both of my dcs to sleep when they were babies, don't think they ever went to sleep without being on the boob and then being transferred into cot/Moses basket. No sleep issues at all with either of them when stopped feeding (tho ds started sucking thumb the night I stopped feeding as a boob substitute!).