Have I ruined it all?! DP thinks so!

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Hi all, long time lurker but first time poster, so sorry if I'm a bit long winded- just want to get all the info out and beg for the wisdom of mumsnet!

DS (19 months) was a horrendous screaming refluxy newborn, but since about 8 months has been a great sleeper- he would reliably go down at 7-7.30 and self settle with no trouble at all. We had a good routine of bath, quiet time with milk and stories and then I (or DP) would put him down awake and he'd go off no problem. He usually slept until 6.30ish, and would have milk and be up for the day, or sometimes wake at 5, have his milk and go back down until 7-7.30. Naps were a bit
more hit and miss but generally he would have about 1hr 30mins in his cot.

We've recently put him in a single bed- he's pretty tall and was able to get his leg right over the top of his cot- he'd never fallen out but I felt it was just a matter of time. For the first week in his new bed he was great, but for the last 10 days or so it's just been a nightmare

. If you leave the room he gets up and screams at the Stairgate, which progresses to throwing all his toys down the stairs. He seems to think quick return is a game, for the few days we tried that. We have been sitting by his door for 2hours or so while he shouts , sings and bounces around before eventually falling asleep at 9.30ish. He's then up at 3.30-4 and won't go back off unless one of us is in with him, which I don't really want to make a habit of, and up for the day at about 5.45.

DP is really struggling with this and is adamant we should just give up and rebuild his cot, but I feel we can't go back now we've started- help!! Is this a normal stage? Was he just not ready? I struggled with PND until he was about 13 months and am really worried that just as I am really enjoying parenting, this is affecting how DP feels about it. He is a police officer, so sleep is important for him, and I can't always rely on his shifts meaning he can help out at night.

Sorry for the absolute essay- thanks if you got all the way through!

If you sit by his door is he in bed or out?
Do he have a safety rail on the side of his bed?
Is he under a duvet? And if so have you tried putting it side ways across the mattress and tucking it under?

There is quite a big sleep regression around this age (my dd is 21 months so quite fresh). I have two. My eldest went into a bed at 19/20 months and did as you describe. In the end, I stayed with him and he settled back down much quicker than leaving the room. My youngest is still in a cot - she would want me to stay with her until she slept. She's settled down again.

You had to switch to a bed otherwise he could hurt himself. So I would sit with him until he sleeps - its a phase, it will pass.

I think put back in the cot!! Tbh 19 months is really little and if you had a good routine in place that worked then I am a bit as to why you would have changed it.

Understand you don't want him climbing out and all that but it sounds like he quite liked the feeling of being 'contained' and now all this sudden freedom is too much for him

A bed guard might help?

Hi this is so normal. By 2, my son was so tormented he jumped out the cot - luckily we had a mattress beside him so he didn't hurt himself but knew he needed a bed. He then didn't want us to leave - so much so, he'd make himself sick. Unfortunately, I'd had enough and totally shouted at him so he never made himself sick again. However, he and my daughter about that age would both cry. My husband sat with them quite a lot but when they're old enough, what really worked was shutting the door. I told them if they stopped crying, I'd leave the door open. If they cried, I said they'd wake up everyone and shut the door. This did work and still works to this day. They do grow out of it. Another tip I've heard is to sit quietly after bed routine is over - but each night, take the chair further and further away from the cot. Stay with them till they fall asleep but don't say anything. Always finish on the same song and don't start it up again. Good luck!

MrsMink and Creature he does have a bed guard, but just crawls down to the end and gets out. If we sit in the room he stays in bed but it's still taking him a couple of hours to go off. If he hears us leave and shut the Stairgate then all hell breaks loose!

Girlie I get what you're saying, I think this is how DP feels, that I've chosen to change a good routine, but I was genuinely worried that he would hurt himself- its not that he would be able to climb out, it's that I thought he'd get half way and then fall- smacking his head on the floor. A few mornings I came in to find him kind of stuck with one leg either side of his cot rail.

I was asking because I was wondering if he was missing the security. - sometimes wrapping the duvet helps them to feel more secure. But if he has a rail it can't be that.

I did the door open/shut thing too but I have twins so they were never alone so not too much trouble settling.more trouble with them playing

have you tried one of the lights that makes patterns?

I have a cot, but put my DD in a baby sleeping bag (the larger ones have loads of room) so she can't manoeuvre her leg over the rail and get out. This might not work if he doesn't need to get one leg over first though and uses his body weight iyswim. Maybe a mattress to break the fall just in case?

I'm dreading losing the cot and dummy though!

Well last night was a bit more successful- I only had to sit with him for an hour until 8.30 before he went off, and then he was up at 5.30 to have his milk, I got

sorry, posted too soon!

I got in with him when he had his milk and he went back off until 5 mins ago. So, maybe it's progress, and DP and I actually got a couple of hours of our eve together which was nice! We had a chat about it all and agreed to keep going for now- if there's a sleep regression about this age, nothing says it would be different if we put him back in his cot.

my dd is 2.5 we moved her into a bed at 2 as needed cot for ds, we made sure the room was safe and left her to it. some nights she goes straight to sleep and others she'll spend an hour or so getting books to read and chatting to her toys (very cute to listen to), then the bad nights she'll still try her luck crying at the door, these nights she gets one of us walking into room, marching her back to bed and walking back out without a word being spoken. only tends to take a couple of bed walks before she gives in - they do tend to be the nights that she's over tired/ napped badly. it does get better, the good nights far outweigh the bad

We stuck with a bed with ds. Once the horrible phase passed, he stopped getting out until around 3 years old!

We've been through this, dd2 is now 25 months and settling well again. She had fallen out of the cot so we had no choice. I have to admit to leaving her to it a bit, she often put herself to bed after wandering about a bit.