Is self-settling really the magic bullet for sleeping through?

[CityDweller]

Just wondering really... Nearly 5 mo used to sleep through (at around 8 weeks, til about 13wks). Hasn't since then and varies from 2 to 6 night wakings now, and most of those require feeding her back to sleep. Bar a handful of occasions in her life, she's always bf to sleep. Will teaching her to self-settle make her sleep through again?? If so, I'm willing to make the effort to help her learn!

Ocean, you're a lucky duck to have a baby that let you put her down awake at 6 weeks old. All hell would have broken loose in our house. Trust me, I tried that one!

Oh..trust me all hell DID break loose...we just figured we had to be tough initially (much much MUCH worse for me and DH than for her!) for success in the long run. At 6 weeks though we were still swaddling and shusshing to sleep, but she was never actually asleep when we put her down.

I actually had a very old fashioned HV and I followed her advice to the T. Pretty sure some will think I was a little mean/neglectful almost at times but we weren't. I would only let her cry for 6 mins, but that's a long time when you're tired and listening to a little one crying. But I would just go in after 6 mins, cuddle, reassure then put back down. Only took 2 weeks ish of doing that and she's been a dream ever since.

Although i will also say there is I'm sure an element of luck to all this too!

However, will be doing exactly the same old fashioned approach with baby 2 which is on the way!

Well tonight I'm mixing up the bedtime routine a bit - feeding with light on and not going to zip her into sleeping bag until after the feed. We'll see how it goes...

Self settling and night weaning made no difference to DD who didn't sleep through, ever, until she was 2. She still wakes up once a night fairly frequently aged 4.
DS1 was always fed to sleep and slept through at a couple of months and loves his sleep now.
DS2 is also fed to sleep but has slept through since he was born (7+ hours a night). We'll see how he gets on as he's only 8 months old.

Exactly what everyone is talking about here: www.troublesometots.com/when-baby-sleep-training-doesnt-work/

I don't think it does, at least it didn't with my DS. He can self settle but if he wants me in the night, he wants me and isn't going to self settle even though he can. He is 16 months and goes through phases of sleeping through and phases of waking.

I am not saying its not important for them to be able to sleep a decent stretch without needing you to rock them every sleep cycle but I don't think it's the magic cure that its made out to be.

ditto Elpha

Yes and no.

DD was waking multiple times a night, having to be fed or rocked back to sleep each time. We did CC which taught her to self settle. result - instant sleeping through (literally, the first night).

However she did then start to wake up again for a 4am feed when she had a tummy bug, then this carried on through habit until we did CC again. after that she now sleeps through except when ill or teething or going through a developmental leap . But the wakings have never got as bad as before she learned to self settle.

Basically I think that learning to self settle will mean that they don't cry out in the night simply because they need someone to get them back to sleep. but (and this is as it should be, of course) they will still cry out in the night if they need something, like if they are hungry or they are in pain. so it all depends why your baby is waking in the night - if it's simply to be put back to sleep then self settling will help a lot.

That makes sense minipie.

Last night it took DD hardly any time to settle, with minimal help from me. But she woke twice between then and 3.30am and then woke every 45 mins. I have no idea why . On the plus side, the bedtime routine was much quicker.

Hahahahaha.

Just that. My 4 year old has been self settling for years and still wakes at night. Dd and ds1 were sleeping through long before they self settled.

Just saw how old your dd is City - have you heard of the four month sleep regression? lots of exciting developments mean they wake up lots. it's temporary, as long as bad habits aren't created (so mainly, as long as they don't become dependent on boob or rocking etc to get back to sleep).

Oh yes - am very familiar with 4 month regression. This has been going on for nearly 2 months though, so I think we're into habit territory now...

I think minipie is right. I have two - first sleeps 7-7 after one night if CIO at 16 weeks (cried for an hour then fast asleep). Her day time naps were no that long though in general but night time was good. My second child naps during the day a treat. Really consistent. Goes down at night at 7 and will wake at 5am no matter what ready for breakfast. I get the occasional 1.30am feed. Both have been put to bed awake and neither have been fed to sleep. If you want to avoid it - follow baby whisperers "EASY". Means you don't feed before nap. (I do agree with her BUT I actually feed my youngest before naps because I get 3 hours sleep rather than 1 hour. ) self settling helps but if your baby needs you they will cry regardless of the ability to self settle or not. this too shall pass

Worked for my two. Dr Ferber's analogy is with an adult falling asleep in bed and then being surreptitiously transferred into the bath. The instant they roll over or rouse a tiny bit they'd notice something was wrong, and scream the house down. Or if some maniac came and stole your pillow from under you the instant you dropped off - you'd be pissed off and paranoid.

As noted however, if a baby is hungry (either because they're tiny and really need their four hourly feed, or because they've got into the habit of eating at 3am) or poorly or teething then they'll still yell for mum, which is as it should be.

Yes IME, but we didn't get decent sleep til 8.5 mo because of awful reflux anyway.

Approach we used was in a book called the sleepeasy solution and we found it excellent as did several of our friends.

KatOD - I've read that book, I agree, it's the only helpful sleep book I have come across.

All babies are different though, aren't they? I always fed my son to sleep and he slept through for 12 hours from when he was 13 weeks old. I mean, he never self-settled but he was what would be called a 'good' sleeper. When he finally decided he didn't want the boob any more, he just went to sleep when I put him to bed. Can't offer any advice re that because I know it was just luck (and believe me, I know how lucky I was) but by the same token I think it goes to show that even if you feed to sleep, you might still have a 'good' sleeper; doesn't seem to matter much what you do.

I think it's really important for sleeping through but it's not just self settling at the beginning of the night, you have to also have a consistent approach to dealing with night wakings. It's painful for the first week or so but then settles down. We did baby whisperer pick up put down. Good luck!

mewkins I think you're right. I've been working hard on DD self-settling at beginning of night and it's going pretty well. But while she'll then do a stretch of 5ish hrs, after that she can often wake every hour. It's so frustrating - last night she slept 8-1, but then was awake 4 more times in the night.

She does still, at 5mo, need night feeds though so it's hard to avoid feeding her (to sleep) at at least one or two of those wakings. Maybe I have to accept that this is our lot until she's old enough to be night weaned