Has anyone else failed at sleep training? At wits end...

[thecurlymops]

We really did our homework and made sure we were super consistent but our 7 mth old just got worse each night. We gave up after 7 nights with all three of us a bit traumatised. I will be starting full time work at the end of Oct and I can barely function on the amount of sleep i'm getting, hubby's work is suffering too. Does anyone have any ideas or methods, books, advice etc to help baby cut out night feeds and self-settle? Thanks!!

I'm not sure that it works at this age does it? My dd fed in the night until she was 14 months (she took from 11 months to 14 months o drop the 3 o'clock feed)

Are you trying to cut night feeds out completely?

Try Andre Grace, I you can spare £200. I was the same, my 6 month old fed every hour, I was going back to work and couldn't cope. After a month with Andrea, doing a no-cry plan based on cutting night feeds down minute by minute and gradual retreat, DS slept 12 hours and has done since. If you can possibly afford it I recommend it.

AndreA grace, sorry

Self settling happened with me gradually getting further away as the nights went on. Might it be a bit much to tackle both at once?

That sounds great bigkid

It really was! Two of my friends have since gone to her with the same result. I love her

Yes, I've looked at Andrea Grace and it's encouraging to hear that she is worth it as we were shocked at the prices. In Australia there is a free service (Tweddle) where you take your baby and spend the day with sleep consultants - it was amazing and sorted out our eldest. But it was free, so it's hard to come to terms with the big spend now.

Has anyone done Nicole Johnson? www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/

My understanding of sleep training is that you can't feed sometimes and not others as it will confuse the baby so night feeds need to be cut out entirely. She's a big healthy baby, very happy and cheerful who enjoys solids so I don't think she needs the feeds, she just likes it and a back rub to get back to sleep....

By sleep training what were you doing? CC, CIO, camping out, pupd?

If CC, how long were your intervals?

Are your solids going well?

Hello mrsbeano, solids are going really well, she enjoys three meals a day, the occasional snack (fruit) and three breastfeeds during the day (around 9am, 1pm and 6:30pm - sadly all before naps not after but she always goes into her cot awake). We went for the "reassurance" method so starting at 5mins, then 10 mins then 15 mins then every 20 minutes until settled. We would stroke her chin once or twice and tell her we loved her then leave. There is nothing out there for people who don't get results after 3 - 5 nights, everyone just assumes we were doing it wrong...? I'm so tired that i'm prepared to try again but not sure i'd cope if it was for nothing...

She is very young, so may not be developmentally ready for it, but some babies also will NOT be trained. I've notched up five attempts at sleep training my 15 month old - all failed. All it has ever done is bought me a week or two of respite before he starts refusing to sleep for longer than forty minutes after an hour of screaming again (repeat that cycle all night), and I have to go back to whatever I can do to maximise what little sleep I get. He's awake every two hours all night for boob so DH can't settle him, and I work full time. It's hell, but you'll actually be surprised at how well you'll cope. Go to bed when DD does and co-sleep. It's the only thing that has worked for me.

Well your intervals sound fine to me as does your reassurance so it sounds like CC is not suited to her.

I would expect that you'd have more luck with CIO but this is a personal choice.

You could try camping out - where you sit on the floor, facing away while she goes bonkers and then in theory decides it better all round to just go to sleep. Again, just try for 5 nights and see how it goes.

We night weaned at 7 months but DS was bottle fed. We reduced ounces down by 2 every other night until there was just two left. At this stage he CIO for 20 minutes for one night and hasn't woken up since. The kitchen is firmly closed from bedtime til morning because I'm not doing that again!

For BF I believe that you do the number of minutes instead of oz. If she wants to feed multiple times per night try to offer water at the earlier wakings. My DS was like WTF but didn't actually cry.

I believe that at 7 months, night feeds are a habit and if they are genuinely hungry they will let you know. They just need to transfer their calorie intake to the daytime and will adjust to this within a week.

Planning to slowly reduce BFs at night by 2 mins each night then when night feeds are sorted embark on "camping out". Thanks for the suggestion! For some reason being in the room with her makes me feel better, as though I'm supporting her in some small way... gulp. ElphabaTheGreen I have my suspicions that my LO could be a lifer and am trying to accept that. Taking things easy, early nights, no huge outings etc in an effort to conserve my energy. I really would like to help her learn to sleep though as I think it is such a good skill for a baby / child to have. Sigh.
Wish us luck! and thanks for the advice. x

Just to reassure you, my DS didn't sleep through until he was 19 months, but after that he became a fantastic sleeper and for a couple of years now we've just put him in his cot/bed, put a story cd on and left him to go to sleep by himself.

When I got desperate enough I got the 'no cry sleep solution' book and worked through the ideas. Its a while ago now, but I think what helped us was making sure he had a consistent nap schedule and bedtime routine, making sure he went into his cot awake and not responding to him in the night the second he cried - I think he was doing the crying in his sleep thing and I was rolling out of bed and bfing when I needn't have - which perpetuated the problem. It took a couple of weeks to resolve IIRC.

Good luck. :)