DD 4.5yrs won't sleep through...

[toadstool]

...and hasn't for over 8 months. She gets up every single night, comes into our bedroom, and won't go back into her own bed. Now it's sunny she gets up at 5.30 EVERY DAY and starts to run around demanding breakfast/wee/TV, etc.
I think we're both dying - we're certainly very under the weather, snappy, sexless, etc. We've tried: taking her bakc ot bed and sitting with her: works once in a blue moon, usually we give up after an hour. A stairgate on bedroom door. She opens it and comes in anyway. A night light, no use. A lamp she can switch on: worked for a week, now she lies to me that she can't work it. Sleeping meds from GP: they worked when we used them "to break the cycle", and at no other time. Also gave her a rash. Screaming abuse at her until she run off back to her room: worked once FOR 10 MINUTES, but I've never wanted to use it again, though other mothers say that's their preferred method. Any advice?

I think you have to chose one method and stick to it. It will take some time, but she has just got into a bad habit that you need to break.

DS is 4.2, if he gets up in the middle of the night, he knows he can get a quick cuddle but then must go back to his own bed on his own. He soon gets fed up with the effort of getting out of his bed just for a little cuddle to then have to take himself back to bed again!

toaDstool
have seen this on hose of tiny....bbc 3, and i think u have to spend a few nights maybe more. breaking the habit and if u are exhausted u just have to give over a week (holidays from work??!!) to do it, it can be broken its hard woek but they only way to do it , is to repeatedly bring her back to her room, start a star chart for her that if she sleeps 1 night = a little treat , then work it up to a week , then a month, i would think she is old enough to understand that space of time. hth

My DD went through a similar thing when she was about 4. Always waking in the night for some reason or another (I didn't have the early morning bit though). In the end, I put a mattress on the floor in her room then when she came into our room in the night I used to put her straight back to bed, give her a kiss, lie down on the mattress and go straight back to sleep myself.

For a few nights, she would ask questions about all sorts as an excuse to talk but I would tell her to go to sleep then ignore her. After a week or so, she got used to going back to sleep and after a few weeks, I knew she could do it on her own so moved the mattress out and just put her back to bed then left. Never had any problems after that.

A couple of weeks spent sleeping on a mattress on her floor to reassure her was worth it to get back to having a full nights sleep again ........ until DS came along

Really hope it gets better for you Toadstool. I remember how tired I was so you have my sympathies.

Oh yes, we did the star chart when we took the mattress out. If she stayed in her room all night and didn't wake mummy and daddy, she got a star. Filled the chart up in two weeks (she needed 10 stars) and got a treat she chose in advance so she knew what she was working towards.

Thank you so much for these suggestions! Dh did mention the mattress is room idea but I didn't like it because I worried it might form a worse habit - but combined with a star chart, it sounds like it worked for two of you, so I'll give it a try. We're thinking of setting aside a week when work isn't too heavy so we can focus on the sleep issues - anything to stop feeling like zombies! Oddly, I had to sleep in a separate room from DH for 2 nights this last month (raging toothache), and those are the only 2 nights out of the past 8 months she slept through - I think there may be a Freudian explanation in that (daddy no longer in bed with mummy)... but it doesn't resolve the problem, far from it!!!

I agree that you should set aside a weekend, bite the bullet and go for it. I would just take her by the hand when she comes through, say nothing more than "It's time to sleep", and take her back to bed, even if it takes you 20 times and 3 hours to do it. If both of you are prepared to do this with her then it shouldn't be too bad.
And whatever you do, don't enter into any discussion or negotiations with her, because she'll cotton onto that very quickly and play you for all she's worth. If she's not going to get anything out of waking at night, then hopefully she'll give it up as being a waste of time.