Feeling pressure to put DS in his cot...advice needed!

[mya22]

I have Co-slept and breastfed my son since he was born (he's now 7 months) this was not any big philosophical decison - more exhuastion and found I got more sleep - plus I have a demanding 4 year old! The problem is my Husband and family keep on at me to get him in his cot! I don't know how I'm going to a) find the energy and b) if I even want to! I'm starting back at work soon so he's on bottles and an up and down weaning diet in the day..now at night he does just want to breastfeed a lot! Sometimes I quite enjoy its but other times it is exhausting! I feel like I'm just not sure what to do next??? Any advice / experiences like this?

Do what's best for you.

No suggestions but we co sleep. LO also 7mths. We have a cot side cared and also a travel cot below it. LO starts in travel cot as she crawls and stands, then she comes in with us at first wake up.

I keep feeling like we should move her but I'd miss her too much.

If it ain't broken don't fix it. Go with your gut.

We cosleep too, luckily DH is enjoying it too.

I tell people they are more than welcome to come over and spend a week getting her in her cot if they've got the time and energy.

I also use the phrase 'we cosleep, which is a choice we're happy with' when people first enquire about where she sleeps etc.

Well, you have to do what you want to do :)

I guess people are only trying to give you advice to help you to get more sleep when you go back to work.

As I said, everyone needs to do what is right/best for them, but my opinion is that at 7 months babies don't need to feed through the night, if they aren't fed through the night, they will eat better in the day & if they eat better in the day, they will sleep better at night - which is surely a much better way for things to be :)

I would have the baby in the cot, in my room.

But you do what is right for you!

Thank you all for your messages! It feels so nice to know I'm not the only one out there..I think part of the problem is that I'm not sure quite what I do want to do! With my daughter she was in her cot early on but I worked very hard to get to that point! Now I feel like I don't really have the energy. However I do feel I should work towards a solution that works for all our family and I think it is starting to put a strain on things! At the moment my husband is in the spare room which isnt great! I think I will aim for a softly softly approach..but any tips for stopping the endless breastfeeding and getting him into his cot..I'm scared to even try as i'm just so grateful every night when he goes to sleep that I don't want to wakw him up!!

I sympathise - we co-slept until about a week ago (dd nearly 11 mo). I was bf too. Like you I both loved & hated it & like you, I felt pressured by HV/family to get her into her own room. In the end, we just couldn't take the night wakings anymore & had to resort to cc. I know it's controversial & not for everyone, but dh & I had honestly reached the end of our tether.

Do what works for you; she's your child, not theirs. I think you & dh probably need to discuss this though, especially as he is one of the ones pressuring you into getting her into her own room.

I moved DS to his cot from co-sleeping at about this age. IF you decide it's what you want to do, the way I did it was fairly gently. I started putting him in his cot for naps, with music that he already associated with sleep. Then after a few weeks of that started putting him down for the night there, then moving in with us after first wake up.

We're now at 11 months and he's only just in there all night. We currently have one wake up to find which typically takes about 20 minutes and then back into his cot. (Of course, now I've written that, tonight will probably be hideous.) ultimately I don't worry about it if he's having a bad night/ill/whatever and ends up in with us. However, I do think his sleep has improved. He's a wriggler and moves around a lot, which woke him up in our bed when he bumped into one of us! DH also snores which I think contributed to frequent wakings.

Do what's right for you though, 7 months is still tiny and you don't get the time back!

I also have a love/hate thing going on with 10m old DS sharing our bed... DH dislikes it much more than me though - so I keep telling him that I am very happy if he wants to try and evict the baby from the bed! I don't see why it should just be my job, and it might actually be easier for him to settle DS in his own room, not smelling of milk.

We have reached a compromise, I try and get DS into his own bed at the beginning of the night, then bring him into our bed when he wakes around midnight. It's not a perfect or permanent solution, but it's improved the situation for now.

Good luck!

My ds is 1 in a few days and we still co sleep, he has a cot attached to our bed which he goes in for most of the night, but if he's wakes up he now crawls over me and sleeps in between me and dh! He's happy, we're happy. If people mention it just tell them that your all happy with your arrangement and leave it at that.

Do you have space to attach a cot to your bed? It could be a good transition. I've found that putting LO down in the side car cot stops her from being tempted to snack all night.

Maybe when LO wakes to feed in the night, make sure it's a proper feed.

I think it's normal for some babies to still need to feed for the night at this age.