Is this really normal?

[MB34]

DS is 8.5 months and since about 4 months his sleep has gone downhill, this is when we started bedtime routine/a comforter sleep aid/cuddling in cot etc.

He wakes up up to 10 times a night (every 20 mins to 1 hour), sometimes feeds (bf), most of the time just needs a gentle stroke/cuddle in the cot to go back to sleep. I do let him cry for 20-30 seconds before going to him to see if he'll go back but most of the time his cries get worse.

I don't feed him to sleep and only feed him every 3-4 hours in the night.

He has a night or two every now and again where he'll sleep 3-4 hour stretches at night but he always reverts back to his 10 times a night waking.

He's a very happy baby and for day time naps he can just go to sleep by himself for up to an hour and a half so it's not affecting him at all.

I know that it's normal for babies to wake in the night, but I thought this meant twice maybe three times and I could cope with that. Surely 10 times is not. I'm wondering if I need to take him to the doctors to see if there's an underlying problem?

An advice would be greatly appreciated

Ouch, poor you. No it's not normal, but on the other hand it's more common than you'd think, and it doesn't necessarily mean there is anything wrong with him. he may just have got into the habit of being stroked back to sleep every time he passes between sleep cycles.

No harm in asking the doctors and HVs, not sure how helpful they will be mind you.

How does he go to sleep at bedtime? By himself or with stroking etc? I have heard that however they get to sleep at bedtime, that's how they expect to be put back to sleep in the night.

also how much does he nap in the day in total and when's bedtime and up for the day time?

Thanks for replying.

At bedtime I do cuddle/stroke him in the cot and try to take my hands off him when he shows signs of falling asleep - most of the time, this results in him crying so much that I can't take it so either I pick him up, cuddle til the minute he closes his eyes, then put him down or cuddle in the cot a bit longer than I should. It probably is this that's making him wake up, but I don't know how to do it without him screaming.

He's normally up at 6.15 and depending on how late his last nap is, I do bedtime at between 7 & 7.30 (earlier if he's showing signs of tiredness)

If we're in the house in the day, he naps in his cot - 1.5 hours in the morning and half hour about 2.30. If we're out and about, he gets tired every 2-3 hours and will only nap for 30/40 mins at a time.

I don't know if it's normal but we have exactly the same situation!

Have you tried leaving him for longer than 30 seconds when he wakes in the night? My 8mo DS quite often wakes and has a little grizzle for 3-4 mins before going back to sleep. I used to get up to him 5-6 times a night but I got fed up and decided to see what would happened if I just left him for a few mins.

Sometimes he does shout quite loud/roar a bit, and the first few weeks of it happening I thought he would never go back to sleep on his own, without me rubbin his tummy and saying shhhhh shhhh. He surprised me though, and seemed to get the hang of settling himself back down to sleep. Might be worth just leaving a little bit longer than 30 secs and seein what happens?

Clarella Sorry to hear you are going through this too, have you had any advice from anyone?

Bot Thank you for that advice, I'll certainly try it. Although, when you say your DS has a 'little grizzle', how would you rate it on a scale of 1-10, where 1 is babbling and 10 is crying so hard that they take like a little sharp intake of breath every few seconds (like they're hyperventilating) iykwim?

I am in the same boat with DD2 18 weeks.
Am exhausted and reluctantly resorting to co-sleeping after first wake up.
Annoyingly even first stretch of sleep might only be 2 hours, whereas at 3 months she was going through til 2/3 even 5am once.
I think co-sleeping is making it worse though as its reinforcing the boob back to sleep habit, but I just am too tired to do anything else, so is vicious circle.
Doc put her on ranitidine as she was showing some symptoms of silent reflux but has made no difference.

My DS was the same Sleep - first 3 months I had it quite easy - sleep 5/6 hours straight off then every 2-3 after that. (we had a side car cot and were bed sharing up until this point)

Then at about the same time as your DD now, I would feed to sleep every time he woke just so I could get some sleep! But he became more and more unsettled so decided to put him in his cot from there, but I still took him in with me at about 2am - again to get some sleep!

Looking back, I wish at about 5/6 months and I had thought that he can go at least 2/3 hours in the day without a feed so apply the same to the night and settle him another way if waking before (which is what I was doing up until last week). Then once that's been going a few weeks, try to settle him between feeds without being held/stroked/patted - which is what I'm doing now. I'll whisper the next bit since doing this he's waking only 4 times a night and I feel like a new woman! It is hard for a few nights as it can take up to 45 mins of crying, cuddling in cot, taking my hands away when he's settled, crying, cuddling in cot etc etc but fingers crossed we are getting somewhere!!

I don't know if this will help you but I hope you find something that helps the both of you soon.

Hi MB,
I do keep trying to keep her in cot but just give in because i am so tired.
Neither of us sleep well with her in my bed so we have to do something.
She will suck my finger to sleep sometimes but there were some early concerns about her weight so I feel like I need to feed her whenever she will take it ( very distracted in day so every feed is a battle).
I also wanted to rule out reflux before trying sleep training.