6 week old will only sleep on me/DH

[dinnersinthedawg]

My DD never settled in her Moses basket from day 1 so we gave up trying and use a sling in the daytime (or hold her on our lap if sitting down) and I co-sleep with her at night (DH is in the spare room). However over the last couple of nights after I've fed her I put her down next to me but she gets really fidgety and then starts to cry. Even if she had fallen asleep on me whilst feeding she wakes up moments after I put her down on the bed. It seems the only way she will sleep is lying on her front on my chest. I'm a bit nervous about the risks but I just had to do it so that we could both get some sleep.

Any advice/experiences appreciated!

I would try putting her in the Moses basket in the day when not to sleep. Ie put it next to you and put her in and talk/ show her a toy
Gradually increasing time she is in there without you interacting. Maybe put it in bathroom / kitchen whilst your pottering around and just let her get used to it as a safe, nice area she likes to be in.
Once She is happy to lay in there 10 mins or so looking at a you, mirror, or just with you chatting away in room. Then start using for sleep as she now feels cosy in there as well as on you.
You could also add a hot water bottle to basket for a few minutes before she goes in ( and then take out), so it feels warm and snug to her like a human would

Watching with interest as at 11 wks we're in exactly the same position. As we're coming to the end of the Moses basket I don't think it's.worth persevering, I'm looking at the no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth pantley

We had it with our DC and just assumed that's what newborns do so kept DC in the most comfortable position the first 3 months and then it became easier. I mean to sleep very little . It definitely stopped by 6 months. Our friends in the same situation went to GP, got drugs and stopped bf because it was interfering with taking medicines. I think it had something to do with acid leaking from stomach to the upper GI and causing burn-like pain. Both children grew out of it.

Had this with DS wouldn't settle in Moses basket and he slept on me a lot of the time. When I was desperate for sleep we persevered with it and things that helped were: popping a folded up towel under head end of mattress so he was at a slight angle (he had mild reflux), putting warm muslin in basket, waiting until he was fast asleep before transferring him, shushing and patting him after putting him down. Also, white noise was a lifesaver (used free app esleep lite) and would put it on a timer.

Good luck.

We had this with our son. He would barely sleep anywhere other than on our chests and wouldn't be put down at all during the day either. He absolutely refused to sleep in bed next to us - it had to be on us!

We raised the head of his crib (he also had reflux) which helped, but the main thing was time. We just kept trying to put him down and he gradually got better at being apart from us. We started seeing a real improvement at 7-8 weeks and a few weeks later we only had to resort to chest sleeping in the early mornings if we wanted to get another hour or so before getting up. By three months old, not really an issue at all any more. I think that lots of babies have a tricky time accepting that they're not part of you any more. Good luck!

Also, white noise as lolly suggests. Ewan the Sleep Sheep was brilliant.

Yep we had this too. I think it was due to bad wind and a bit of reflux which meant she was only comfortable in this position. it probably took three months till dd would sleep reasonably in her basket. However she was premature so for a full term baby I would expect it would take a shorter time.

in the meantime, I suggest finding a way to sleep as well as you can propped up with the baby on your chest... I found LOTS of pillows helped, including one under each elbow so I could hold dd without any effort, and also a v shaped one behind my head (with normal pillows behind it and underneath it) so I could lean my head to one side.

Babies are programmed by 1000s of years of evolution not to want to be put down. Cots were only invented by the Victorians, throughout human history the vast majority of babies have been (and in most of the developing world still are) carried and slept with for the first 8-12 months of life.

If you think of a cave baby, you can see that evolution would favour babies who tended to wake when put down and demand attention. A baby who was put down could be more easily forgotten, eaten by wild animals or somehow separated from its carers. Our modern babies don't know that you've put them somewhere safe and there are no wild animals near, they only know they feel unsafe away from their parents.

This article is one piece of research along those lines but there are plenty of others.

If you do want your baby to use a Moses basket or cot just be aware it's going to be hard work, as you are trying to reprogramme almost the entire history of human evolution.

Personally I just gave up on cots and we still co sleep 2 years on...

this is a summary of the continuum concept, another anthropological type study of western vs traditional baby care.

Anyway I realise you wanted help getting baby into the Moses basket rather than reasons not to so I'll stop there! Good luck either way hope you find something that works for you.

Thanks chocolatemartini will have a look at the links. To be honest I'm quite happy not to be using the moses basket and was comfortable with using the sling in the day and co-sleeping at night (safely with only DD and me in the bed, pillows removed etc). Probably wasn't clear in my opening post but my concern is that her sleeping on me doesn't feel as safe, especially when I'm so tired? So not really looking to get her into the Moses basket, more just sleeping next to me again instead of on me. I have been bf lying down and that seems to be helping.

DS is sleeping on me, he sleeps on the nursing pillow, which is. Propped up on each side with a pillow. I'm reclining at 45 degree angle - it takes a lot of pillows but it's comfy and feels safe.