Almost 5 year old refusing to settle to sleep

[Debs75]

DD2, 5 in September will just not settle down to sleep on a night. She has never been the best sleeper but it is so bad now. Tonight she has screamed solidly for 1 hour demanding that I take her to bed. It is DP's turn tonight, when I took her last night she demanded that I took her to bed. She gets all upset with herself to the point of hysterics and we just do not know what to do with her.
She shares with dd3 who is 3 and she has always gone without a bother, she plays up at story time but not to the point she has to be told off.

We have recently moved and they are in their own room for the first time which I know is a big thing but it is not as if this is a new thing refusing to settle. Bedtimes of two hours have been a common occurrence in our house.

DD1 and DS were never like this, even when you factor in DS's ASD he was easier.

Debs75,

I'm sorry to hear you are suffering with horrendous bedtimes. We are too at the moment due to the heat(much easier tonight as it's cooler). Last night my 5 year old took 2 hours to go to sleep and I was on my knees with frustration so I do sympathise.

Could you just clarify something please. When you say your DD2 is demanding that you take her to bed what do you mean? Does she want to go to bed but you have to take her or she screams. Does she want to go in your bed? If she's wanting to go to bed why is bedtime taking 2 hours? Is she not able to fall asleep even though she's tired?

We take it in turns to take them up for a story when it is my turn she pouts and then gets hysterical that she wants DP. When it is DP's turn she does the same for me.
She shared my bedroom until we moved and her bed was right next to mine. Even then though it was hard work and she always wants us to .
stay with her all night.
She is definitely tired she just seems incapable of falling to sleep, she did knock off daytime naps early and does seem the child who hates sleep

I was just coming on here to post the same thing! Your dd sounds quite similar sleep wise - early to drop naps etc. We've tried a sticker chart type thing but stopped when we went on holiday, I think we'll try it again - she gets a treat of her choosing at the end of the week.

Also I'm trying to bear in mind that she'll be starting school soon and hopefully the new routine and being tired will sort it all out.

My DD does ask for me every night (bar the odd night when I've been out) and I've always done it to avoid the fuss (terrible precedent to set I know).

When she was napping she did take ages to go to sleep. When she stopped napping, it was 5 minutes and when she started school she was crashing out at 6.30 (was very lucky then). Until she was 3 I did have to lie with her until she went to sleep. When I had second one I used to say I would check on her in ten minutes which used to work.

Recently with the heat, my DD has been saying "i won't go to sleep" and getting very difficult at bedtime although she seems tired. Today we took her to the park late and I do find it easier when she's had lots of physically exercise.

Does your DD go any quicker on a school day or after a long walk?

I think the asking for you or your DP is your DD trying to control bedtime- it's a way of procrastinating similar to asking for water or the toilet- it's her way of spinning things out.

Can you try not taking her up so early(annoying I know when you are tired and need some down time). If she stays downstairs she has to do something quiet like watch TV or draw and not make too many demands otherwise it's up to bed. Then try to get on with things you need to do.

Would your DD get tired watching the TV if you were just pottering about. She seems to be fighting it at the moment so maybe catch her off guard.

Nomnew I agree she is very controlling over bedtimes and some nights she needs just one more wee, then another then another.
I think what we should start doing is taking DD3 up earlier as she is always tired for bed and usually asleep within 30 mins. At least this would get her to sleep without seeing DD2 being an almighty PITA.

I might try it tonight and DD2 can sit downstairs with one of us watching what we want or reading a story then take her when DD3 is asleep

My 3.3 year old dd3 is exactly the same at bedtimes and its now getting to the point where it half eleven before she goes off. She chooses where she sleeps mostly with me but occaisionally with her two sisters and she up and down whining and being an absolute pain. She was great until she turned two! I have abdolutely no bedtime routine whatsovever. Ds has aspergers and used to havr meltdowns at bedtime which used to really disturb the girls and so everything is just a mess now.

No advice but tons of sympathy :)