14 months old with no routine HELP ME PLEASE

[trinityrhino]

i don't thing CC works but there must be an alternativfe. what can I do??? Help

have you tried pick up put down? my dd is 16 months and has only just settled down into a routine. This took about a week but now she is sleeping for at least 11 hours a night and we are all better off for it. Takes a lot of patience but well worth it!

could you explain it step by step to me, I have read about it vaguely but need definite rules to be able to stick to it IYSWIM

thanks in advance

xxx

whats the problem?

we basically can't put her in her cot casue she'll just scream, I don't want to do CC.

she rubs her eyes and then I try to cuddle her in and she fights and wants to get down

I think she gets overtred. no idea when to try and put her to bed

if I put her in her cot at the time I want her to learn to go to to bed then what do I do when she screams

how long do you leave her ,if at all, when your doing pu/pd.

oh god I don't know, I just don't want to be getting up at 5 or 5.30 and still be trying to get her to sleep and 10 pm, she isn't getting enough sleep and it's killing me

No one given you their pearls of wisdom.
Does she get enough rest during the day? dont stop day time sleeps.
Make bed time as stress free as pos. If she cries go back and settle her. If you dont mind her been up let her fall asleep downstairs.

trinity, I know what you mean about getting overtired and fighting sleep. If dd gets tired, rather than wind down, she revs up and get more and more incoherent, unco-ordinated and frenzied. I just took the line of least resistance to help her settle. At 14 months, dd was still bf-ed to sleep. By 17 months, she stopped bf-ing - I wheeled her around in the kitchen until she fell asleep. Then transferred her to bed and co-slept until morning.

When she was a little older, if she woke in the night, I would not bring her downstairs and just told her to go back to sleep. If she tried to get down, I would pick her up and put her in bed with me again X as many times as it took for the message to sink in. She would cry and cry (don't know if you consider that CC) but I saw it as limit-setting - she was old enough to understand that mummy is there, she is not being abandoned, just being told that this is a firm limit.

Because we co-sleep, I don't see it as CC. Have you tried Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry-Sleep Solution? Did not work for dd but it is not CC.

do you have a pre-sleep bedtime routine? something that send cues to your dd that she is about to go to bed and sleep?

Bath, warm drink of milk, night time story sort of thing? All at the same time each day. We found this helpful for our two

What is her average day like? How much is she sleeping in the day and what is her bedtime routine? What time does she normally go to sleep?
I have dd (15 months) on a very fixed routine for bedtime and it works like a bomb.
Sure I could offer some advice but I need some more info.

we did co sleep ish when she was younger and I was still bf, she does sleep in her cot but it's nightmare getting her to sleep, she is often still awake at 10.30, she isn't getting enough sleep as she wakes at 6 ish no matter what time she goes to bed.
she has about a 2 hr nap in the day which is alos hard to get her to do, even when she is evidently tired she fights it and wants to run around but cos she's tired she falls over more and gets frustrated easier, I just think that I am letting her down by not having sorted out a plan of action to help her recognise bedtime, and I'm terrified by the prospect of trying.

My DD (15 months) has her dinner at 5pm. Then we have quiet time where we look at books on the couch together, maybe some singing, but CALm - no running around. About 10 minutes before her bath at 6, I start telling her "it's 10 minutes till bathtime", "5 minutes" etc. Take her through to the bedroom area and shut the door to the rest of the house. She has a bath, straight into pj's, then her daddy comes through and he does a little bedtime routine with her ( turning on the outside lights and identifying the objects in some prints on the wall in the hall - same every night) He then brings her through to her darkened room, where I am waiting with her milk. She has her milk, then I tell her it's time for bed. We turn the lights off and she goes into her cot, with her blankie and favourite soft toy. Door closed and that's it.
If she cries, I leave her for at least 5 minutes before going in. Lay her back down, tell her it's time for sleeping and leave. Will repeat this if necessary.
I know a lot of people are wary of controlled crying, but if to my mind, you need to remember that you are teaching her to put herself to sleep properly, which is only in her own best interests.
I know it sounds crazy, when you are on 10pm at the moment, but I would aim for a 7pm bedtime. At her age she needs the sleep. If you don't let her get overtired, you probably find she falls asleep more easily anyway.
Unfortunately you will have to persevere for a night or two. BUT don't give in or your DD will think the whole thing is a big joke!
Good luck - know you can do it.

thanksjambot, I couldn't possiblt try it at the moe but when I shake this headcold/cough thing, I'm going to give it a go, I thought that 7pm would be a sensible bedtime

thanks for all your replies
xxx

Good Luck Trinity. Once you crack it your life is going to brilliant! Imagine your evenings to yourself. Nice glass of wine, dvd, magazine. Lovely. Going to bed knowing that night waking is the exception rather than the norm.
All those things should spur you on!:)

I think she is just the right age to do this Trinity.

I changed some of DS routine (stopped feeidng before naps), moved him to one afternoon nap etc at that age and it worked fine.

IMO a good window of opportunity in between babyhood (when routine is probably less important) and full on toddlerdom when they start to want their own way!

At that age DS went to bed at 7pm, and woke at 6.30, but around 16 months he started sleeping for lonnger until 7.30 otr so...bliss!

He also still conks out for 2 hours every afternoon, at the same time (1-ish) so I can plan stuff around it.

Good luck, you will have it sorted in no time!