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Something wrong with our 'routine' or 18 sleep regression come early?

23 replies

Suchanamateur · 23/07/2013 18:26

I've posted before about DD 17 mo sleep, and its getting worse not better. Not sure if I need to do something about when she sleeps, or whether its weird developmental things throwing her brain - and sleep - off.

After a long transition, we're now fully on 1 nap a day. But she is suddenly a nightmare to settle at bedtime - often taking well over an hour. Sometimes crying sometimes not - just lying there.

I've been putting her to bed 5ish hours or so after she wakes from her nap - so usually between 6.15 and 7. Tried a bit earlier and a bit later too. No such luck. I wouldn't mind but she still wakes between 5.30 and 6 in the morning, so she ends up with a v short night. And frequently wakes shortly after she has gone to sleep, and increasingly in the night.

She's also started to take shorter naps. She usually wakes after 1 hr/ 1 hr 15 and I've always been able to get her back to sleep for another 45 mins or so, but more and more I can't so her naps are v short, and her day feels out of whack.

So today she woke at 5.50, napped 11.30 - 12.35 and I put her to bed v early as third day in a row of crap day sleep, at 17.50. Hopefully she'll be asleep soon.

She's pretty hard work and willful (although v sweet) and I don't know if thats just the age (I don't really remember DS being like this but they are different kids..) or whether its chronic overtiredness making her behaviour significantly more challenging?

I don't know whether to keep trying sensible wake times, and just ride it out and hope it evens out soon, or change something? Set naps? Will that just make her more OT?

Any wise words/ advice? or commiserations on 17/18 months?

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StyleManual · 23/07/2013 18:31

Watching with interest!

Suchanamateur · 23/07/2013 18:45

You too?

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teacher123 · 24/07/2013 09:03

Hello,how was your weekend away? (Not stalking, was on a thread about sleeping last week!)

Well I decided to force DS to one nap only and it seems very gradually to be making a slight difference. Two weeks in and his wake ups seem to be gradually getting later. I do force him to stay awake till midday though, which results in a very early lunch and some pretty grumpy behaviour from the boy wonder...! He has also started settling off quicker at bedtime, but the heat has been a nightmare.

Does white noise help her? Does sound like she's overtired, or teething maybe? Or maybe like you say it's all developmental madness and there's nothing you can do apart from ride it out with plenty of refined sugar and coffee!

Hope it settles down soon! I've got a whole weekend away this weekend, yippee!

OnTheNingNangNong · 24/07/2013 09:05

Watching with interest as my 17 month old is the same, he's up constantly through the night and up very very early. I wondered if it was a developmental leap as he's growing and becoming more vocal.

StyleManual · 24/07/2013 09:49

DD isn't too bad. But recently she's been giving us the run around at bed time and taking ages to get off. Then she is waking earlier and earlier in the morning. It might just be this hot weather though. She's 17 months and much more aware that she can control situations which I don't think helps. she used to go down no problem but now she's caught onto saying no when we say it's bedtime and then tantrumming when we put her in her cot. Hope it's just a phase!

Suchanamateur · 24/07/2013 12:47

Stylemanual - sounds v similar, although add in crap naps too!

NingNang- sounds grim. Developmental hell.

Teacher - of course I remember! My weekend away was lovely thanks . Did v little and ate and drank lots. Hope yours is excellent. As you can see, we're still struggling! I think we def have OT but hard to rectify when she spends so long arsing around at bedtime. That said, she was in bed before 6 last night and asleep by 6.15, and had an almost 12 hour night. So may just have to do some more of those. She has white noise etc. interesting that you keep up till midday. I've been wondering about doing that so tht even if she crap naps, te stretch to bedtime isn't hellishly long...

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teacher123 · 24/07/2013 19:15

The bedtime fidgeting is just such a pain in the arse, isn't it? Especially when you KNOW they're really overtired and are just making the whole situation worse!

Yes maybe try pushing naptime till after lunch? I cannot cope without a routine (control freak here!) so once I'd decided to drop morning nap I decided that his nap would be after lunch and that was that. So am currently desperately trying to avoid car journeys at about 11.30am as he's knackered!

Am really looking forward to weekend away, DH and DS are having their first ever boys only weekend, so hopefully they'll have a lovely time! I'm going to a spa and all sorts, yippee!

Suchanamateur · 24/07/2013 19:19

Oooh totally jealous (my DH and DS love their boys weekends, and now DD comes along and is even more 'boyish' than them). Have a great time.

Am totally routine too but have just lost it. She slept 12-13.30 today, so was paranoid about OT and put her to bed at 18.05. She slept, after much fidgeting and whinging, at 18.55. Why did I bother? I probably should have just put her down at 18.45 as usual, no?

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teacher123 · 24/07/2013 19:23

It's a nightmare isn't it?! I drive DH bananas as I always need a REASON for his short nap/night waking/early waking/taking ages to settle at bedtime. I sometimes text him at work saying 'do you think it's because I gave him chocolate buttons...?!' When DH looks after him, he puts him to bed, goes downstairs and gets on with stuff and doesn't even really register any burbling... So then he cannot provide me with appropriate data when I text asking about how he's settled down!

Suchanamateur · 24/07/2013 19:27

My DH exactly the same. Pretty much thinks I'm mad.

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teacher123 · 24/07/2013 19:31

Why don't they UNDERSTAND the IMPORTANCE of knowing?!

Suchanamateur · 24/07/2013 19:33

I know! 2 kids down and my DH still says 'they're babies'. I know that FFS. But they must be solvable babies, surely? There must be an ANSWER.

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teacher123 · 24/07/2013 19:36

Is your DH sitting on the other sofa wearing shorts and a t shirt playing on his iPhone? If so, maybe we have married doppelgangers!

The fan that is on upstairs in DS's room keeps kicking into the monitor. EVERYTIME it makes a noise I jump and say 'is he awake?!' DH is now completely ignoring me!

Suchanamateur · 24/07/2013 19:42

Are you me?? Oh no. My DH is out tonight so probably not. But otherwise, yes.

My fan equivalent is DS' monitor (probably should have got over that now by 3.5 but very attached...). DS sighs in his sleep alot, and every time I think its DD about to re-kick off.

Are you back at work? I can't help thinking that my career break post DD hasn't help me in the compulsively obsessing about sleep stakes...

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teacher123 · 24/07/2013 19:49

I am indeed, which has actually really helped matters in that it has distracted me a great deal from obsessing too much. I am however now on my summer holidays, so the obsessing has ramped right up again! I have written a list of things I want to achieve with DS over the summer. (Like needs to eat with a spoon). DH again looked at me to say 'WTF'?!

Suchanamateur · 24/07/2013 20:04

how old is your DS again? My DS went through a great eating with a spoon phase from about 18 months. Now disappeared at 3.5. DD just shovels through the yoghurt with her fingers and then combs her hair. Nice.

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teacher123 · 24/07/2013 20:12

15mo and cute as a button but boy is he full of beans... Took him to the HV yesterday to get weighed and she said 'wow, he's... Busy? Is he always like this?!'

'Yes' I replied wearily as I chased him round the room like he was on speed...

Suchanamateur · 24/07/2013 20:13

oh so very familiar...

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teacher123 · 24/07/2013 20:29

It's a good job he's cute...!

Suchanamateur · 24/07/2013 20:39

Amen to that. I just worry about the teenage stage when they're like this but not cute. DD just had chicken pox and its a real flash forward to the hideousness - grumpy and spotty. I guess at least then sleep will be their problem, although ours will be fucked forever.

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teacher123 · 24/07/2013 20:49

I've taught grumpy teenagers for years, they don't scare me! I can't wait for DS to be able to watch television unsupervised. Then he can get up as early as he flipping well likes. Hopefully by that time he'll be able to make me a cup of tea as well... I'm just impressed that you've got two of them, it looks like DS will remain an only!

Suchanamateur · 24/07/2013 20:54

If DD had come first....

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teacher123 · 24/07/2013 21:03

Ahahahaha! When I think about the amount of emotional energy I have expended on worrying about DS and his development/sleeping/eating/blah blah blah I could probably have had plenty of lovely sleep!

Thing is that I have now got mega superstitious about everything. I refuse to talk about whether he sleeps through, in case I jinx it!

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