Sleepless 9 month old - help me!

[delilah88]

Hello,

My 9 month old DD is a terrible sleeper. I need some advice, please, I am going crazy.

We always have a lovely time in the day and she is a very happy baby, but when it comes to bedtime (bath, story, song by 7pm, BF to sleep) she goes crazy. She hates having her night babygrow put on, hates the BFing always frantically pinging on and off the breast, and then screams like a wild thing when I put her in her cot. I have tried leaving her a bit but it's no good as she immediately gets into crawling/sitting position. She screams so much and becomes red and v hot/sweaty, sometimes it almost looks like she's having a fit. It doesn't stop until I fish her out. At the moment she sleeps in her pram from 7.30ish (whenever I give up) to nightfall when it is dark enough for her to be (again) BF to sleep in our bed and then carefully carried over to her cot. She only ever lasts a few hours before she's up screaming again, and it only ever really resolved when I pop her down between me and DH, where she sleeps like a rock.

Things have got worse and worse. She always used to go to sleep at 7 just being BF in bed and carried into cot. I didn't notice it escalating and now she's so crazy and miserable in the run up to bed, can't get drowsy and always furious and worked up. It's so sad for me that such a nice day again ends like this. She's now in her pram happily cooing and yawning, happy to go to sleep in the light. I have to try and stop her bucking all over the place while she gets dressed, while I feed her -- I worry she'll hurt herself or I'll hurt her trying to keep hold. DH and I never see each other in the evenings or at night as baby rules the roost. I need help, fast!

I don't think I could do controlled crying as when I do leave DD she just gets up hanging onto the sides of the cot then crashes back and whacks her head, then gets up again. I should have done it when she could only lie flat.

Please help me mumsnet!

Well, I don't know if I have good advice for you or not, but if I were you, I would be leaving her in the pram until you go to bed, and then curling up to sleep in bed with her. Go back to the stage she can cope with, then gradually work back to her sleeping in her cot, starting with naps. Dont even think about working on the evening sleep until the naps are sorted. Plus the sleep will keep you sane-ish and then you will better be able to tackle the problem. If DH objects one of you could maybe go onto a guest bed. It feels like forever but it won't be - they all learn to sleep in their own beds eventually

Oh poor you. I've been there quite recently although dd wouldn't sleep in pram or cot , and I went to be with her at 7.30! And dh never saw me and slept in spare bed! And she woke 5-10 times.

I agree with above, remove what's upsetting her and let her sleep in pram until you want you're bed and then let her sleep like a rock next to you!

At nine and a half months I reached desperation and did some controlled crying. Fed her to pretty much asleep, laid her in cot shushed and said night night and left the room. Went back after 2 mins to lay her down as standing in cot and crying. And repeated till asleep. The most I went in was 4 times. and now I rarely have to go in at all. She just goes to sleep in her cot! At 7! And I have the whole evening with dh, well until about 10/11 when she wakes for the first of too many feeds a feed.

It was really hard but totally worth it for us. She's 10.5 months now and still wakes 2-5 times but goes back in cot each time no bother. So it's getting better. Good luck!

She sounds like my ds4! He' s a nightmare at bedtime at the moment. Like your dd he's lovely in the day but come bedtime won't bf to sleep and screams the place down if I put him in the cot. I've resorted to trundling him round in the pushchair if dh is home or keeping him downstairs to roll around on the floor until he is so tired I know he'll flake out.

He used to be pretty good about going off to sleep but not at the moment! I think they go through a sleep regression at 9 months so I'm putting it down to that plus the heat and I'm hoping things settle down again in a few weeks.

In your situation I would keep doing what works ie put her in the pram and maybe try some naps in the cot and try again in the evening in a couple of weeks. They grow out of it eventually.

Yeah forgot to add that they are all sleeping badly in the heat - as autumn comes and it cools down you will both sleep better