At the end of my tether with 14 month old, help!

[MrsOgg]

Please don't tell me I've made a rod for my own back, as I already know that!

We've coslept since birth and I'm still breastfeeding. He usually wakes a couple of times in the night, but I'm not too bothered about that - recently it's been harder and harder and harder to get him to go to sleep at all, and this week he's been getting to sleep at 8, 9, 10pm four out of five nights. Our current system is officially not working any more!

At the moment he sleeps on a double mattress on the floor, so I can just lie down beside him and feed him to sleep. The downside is that he crawls around grabbing toys and laughing hysterically.

Tonight was really really hard. Here's my plan for tomorrow night, let me know if it's stupid:

Tomorrow we are putting the cot up in his room (he's never slept in the cot before), and at 7.30pm (or earlier if he seems sleepy, we're going to try to properly knacker him tomorrow!), we'll do the bedtime routine, I'll offer him a feed in the rocking chair, and then we'll stick him in the cot and leave the room for 1 minute. Then return, shush, pat, but not pick up (?), then leave it for 2 mins, then 3, etc.

If he cries in the night we'll do the shush pat thing again.

Questions for anyone who has been bothered to read this essay:

• as he will want milk, shall I get my husband to do the bulk of the shush-patting? He's really clingy with me in the evenings and has full-on separation anxiety (the baby, not my husband).

• pick him up or leave in cot?

• this is the right thing to do, right? I always thought I was against controlled crying, but that was when he was going to sleep at 6.15pm! I work from home in the evenings so I NEED him to go to sleep before 8pm at the very very latest. If anyone thinks I'm doing the wrong thing, please suggest alternatives!

It sounds like you have it tough!

No advice as such, but I wouldn't do the sush pat on the first night of the cot. It's seems too much too soon. Can you put him in the cot and get DH to stay there? Maybe with a drink and a snack?

I would try and take it easy with him. And be kind to yourself....breastfeeding through the night for months on end takes its toll.

Everyone with small children is finding it hard this week, it's too darned hot.

You've had more patience than I did, as I couldn't bear co sleeping.

I think if you have the stamina to repeat your suggestion for a week to a fortnight, you should crack it, save when he is ill.

But yes I would get DH to do the times when you are not bfing, as he will smell milk on you and want you more.

And make sure the cot and room are cool before you try this. Try a fan to cool it down. You honestly can't expect a toddler to sleep well in this weather.

So you might want to put this off till the weather is cooler.

I couldn't bear the howls, so held and rocked Ds to sleep, singing interminable lullabies, until he had been asleep for at least 6 mins. Then it was safe to put him in his cot. DH had him on his chest when little or next to him when older and applied the six min test. Then
he was put in cot. He got used to it slowly.

HTH

Ok, thanks for the replies!