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Original poster

Slow night torture by 7mnth old!!

29 replies

colette · 07/02/2004 09:14

Ds used to sleep quite well until just before xmas . He has had a series of colds and now wakes up every 1-2hours, I have been trying not to feed him as often at night. A few weeks ago he was being fed 3 or more times. Now he usually settles quite easily - I pick him up cuddle him for a while and feed him about 5am.
I am exhausted and have had tonsilltus(sp) and loads of colds also poor dd is not getting much attention as I can't seem to get much done in the day . As dh is driving long distances he sleeps on the top bunk in dds room.
I have tried a grobag which helps a bit and am now considering putting his cot in the living room so I can have a break as I am at the end of my tether but I feel a bit guilty about this . Any suggestions welcome. It has got to the poiny where I can't believe the haggared face in the mirror first thing belongs to me!

OP posts:
Original poster
colette · 07/02/2004 09:15

sorry about the spelling

OP posts:
twiglett · 07/02/2004 09:21

message withdrawn

Original poster
colette · 07/02/2004 09:32

Thanks twiglett I think dh has been thinking that too.
I think we will move the cot today , something has to change

OP posts:
twiglett · 07/02/2004 09:39

message withdrawn

Original poster
colette · 07/02/2004 10:13

Thanks
It has cheered me up reading that and I think this is what I will have to do. He definately has a cold so do you think it is ok to start now?
I feel mean but do not really want to put it off as he has had about 4 colds since xmas . I suspect he will catch a few more before the winter finishes and can't put up with this much longer

OP posts:
Hulababy · 07/02/2004 10:35

I hope it all goes well Collette. Although DD was much older when we did the CC (as in the diary below) it worked so quickly and we haven't looked back. She now sleeps well every night, without waking, causes no problems on going to bed - actually asks for us to take her - and we all are much happier with thee sleep we get. I do wish we'd done it a bit earlier to be honest but was so sceptical of it beforehand.

Fingers crossed for you!

Original poster
colette · 07/02/2004 10:46

Thanks Hulababy
I am reading your diary and other threads , and I just wondered what are the basics??
Do you leave for 15 mins thaen go in and cuddle and go out and then gradually increase intervals?

OP posts:
Hulababy · 07/02/2004 10:50

I did it as:

  • bath, PJs, bed and story
  • leave room (night light on, door shut - in a bed so can escape otherwise!)
  • wait 5 minutes
  • if still crying went in, kiss, cuddle and soothe - no pick up
  • Leave again, wait 10 minutes
  • Repeat, leaving an extra 5 minutes between times

It worked really quickly for us and she didn't cry for all that long either - 15 or 20 minutes max first night.

Good luck!

suzywong · 07/02/2004 10:59

Big sympathy and empathy to you colette, sleep deprivation is torture.
There is lots of wise advice here and you have our support, it can be done just believe and stay focussed (I'm doing something similar with my 5 month old at the mo)

aloha · 07/02/2004 11:05

Do the controlled crying. It really doesn't have to be awful for either of you. I did it with ds at 8months (he'd never slept longer than about three hours at a stretch and dh and I both felt on the verge of death). He grizzled and cried feebly for 20minutes at the longest stretch. It transformed our child and now he sleeps well most of the time - though he has been through a patch of early rising. Oh, and he's got chickenpox so we've had a couple of disturbed nights Still, nothing like it used to be and he's now two and four months.

Original poster
colette · 07/02/2004 11:40

Thanks for all your support - I am reasonably optimistic about it as he usually settles himself ok when I put him down at bedtime .It is when he wakes after that that is the problem.
I can't wait to get my life back

OP posts:
popsycal · 07/02/2004 11:54

As you will see in the thread below, I did this with ds at 17 months...
I couldnt wait 5-10-15 mins though...
I started with 2 or 3 minutes....

twiglett · 07/02/2004 13:01

message withdrawn

Original poster
colette · 08/02/2004 19:18

Put ds in the living room to sleep last night- just until he is sleeping a bit better then I can put him in with dd. He only woke twice and I picked him up once and that semed to make it worse when I put him down.
The only problem was I woke up a few times in between probably because I am so used to it.
Thanks for all the good advice,it helps a lot beacause sometimes it felt as if I was the only walking zombie in the world.

OP posts:
charlieplus3 · 08/02/2004 19:22

From one walking Zombie to another.

Once we moved 5 month ds to hisown room the sleep problems like yours disappeared. I think my smell of milk woke him.

Im a zombie cos my ds who is 20mths doesnt sleep through.

Good luck, let us know how you get on, meanwhile can you get a nap in the day, is that a stupid question cos i know i cant

suzywong · 08/02/2004 23:17

After ds2 waking 90 minutes after I put him down, me getting stressed (I swore at my baby ), trying not to BF but giving in because I think he has a cold. I asked Dh for some support and kind words.
He started by telling me everyone knows that fromula fed babies sleep through the night.
FIreworks ensued, he knows I will BF this one exclusivley for at least the first 8 months.
I felt very undermined and let down by DH who 'was only trying to help'.

Is he right? Can anyone provide a link to prove him righ tor to the contrary.

Being a man he has no idea how he has dented my confidence in this difficult time.

nutcracker · 08/02/2004 23:21

Well my dd2 was bottle fed from birth and didn't sleep throught the night until she was 14mths old. It your choice you do what feels right for you.

Bekki · 08/02/2004 23:22

Yes it is your choice. Its what works for you and your babe.
but perhaps you'd like to consider this if you have the energy

suzywong · 08/02/2004 23:26

thanks bekki
but I'm not at that stage yet (FYI ds1 didn't go through the night til ,ooh 21 months and still gets up 50% of the time, we had to get a sleep counsellor in when he was 14 months old) ds2 is far far far better by comparison I just need , as you say, to summon the energy to put the finshing touches on his routine. But thanks for the link.
I think DH just doesn't know the difference between making sweeping statements and patting me gently and saying 'keep going you are doing a great job'

I wonder if lesbian couples have this chasm of communication that heteros do?

Bekki · 08/02/2004 23:31

Oh sorry suzy I didn't read your message. Hmm let me think...
I know that just because they are fed formula and onsolids that doesn't help them to sleep through, so you are right. I don't have any links on hand, hang on...

suzywong · 08/02/2004 23:35

Thanks anyway for the reassurance, am going to cuddle up to poorly baby and vow never to swear at him again
goodnight

mears · 08/02/2004 23:36

Here is a link suzy
here

suzywong · 08/02/2004 23:37

that's perfect

Bekki · 08/02/2004 23:38

that took long enough!

Bekki · 08/02/2004 23:40

Yours is much better Mears.
I have a good site about co-sleeping trouble shooting and stats and also one for dads who have problems with bf.