It's taken me nearly an hour to get 5 MO DS down for his nap

[LetThereBeCupcakes]

And he will almost certainly only sleep for 20 minutes. I've posted on here before about sleep issues but it's just getting worse and worse. The effort it takes to get him to sleep is astronomical and I just can't keep it up. When he starts to look sleepy I often cry just at the thought of having to get him to sleep again. My HV is a total waste of space. DH is never around and doesn't really care. My parents just keep saying DS is naughty. I don't think he's naughty. I think I've just failed to teach him how to go to sleep and now I'm too exhausted to fix it. I can't carry on like this much longer but I don't know what to do. I feel sick at the thought of bedtime. It can take up to 3 hours to get him off, then he wakes every 2 hours for feeds. He will only sleep in the bed with me. He used to sleep in a cot so at least I could get comfortable in between times.

Please don't tell me it's just a phase and I'll get through it, because I don't think I will and I can't see how this will end unless I teach him how to sleep, but I don't know how.

Sorry, I don't know where that hyperlink came from.

Oh poor you! Been there, DS2 was a horrendous sleeper from about birth 4-5.5 months, up every hour in the night and no discernible routine for daytime naps at all. Its only in the last couple of weeks we've been getting back to proper sleep and daytime naps are still very hit and miss.

The 4 month sleep regression ( anywhere between 3 and 5 months really) is a total bastard. Its a good sign that baby is developing brainwise though, at the other end is a ginormous leap in everything physical and mental. Sitting, moving, co-ordination, cognition, ability to eat and SLEEP.

Doesn't make it feel any better right now though, I know. You just have to survive the next few weeks however you can. Matchsticks for eyes, vast quantities of caffeine and perfecting the zombie look .

pascha I am in awe of anybody who has a second one. If DH an I were actually sleeping in the same room I think I'd have made him get the snip. How old is your DS2 now?

This started when DS was about 9 weeks old (having only managed to get him sleeping in his moses basket 4 weeks previously). He is now 5.5 months. I've been steering clear of caffeine as I am BFing so thought this would make things worse.

He's awake again now. He managed 25 minutes. I managed one load of laundry and half the washing up.

HV suggested weaning but I'm failing on that - keep reaching the end of the day and realising he's not had any solids. Can't quite seem to get to grips with it.

When my DD was going through a similar thing we found a clean muslin cloth with a label a huge help. She'd cuddle up to the cloth and either fiddle with the silky label or suck it til she drifted off. I don't think it's possible for a 5 month old to be naughty and you've not failed, he's just being a baby - awkward! Sorry you're feeling so low, you sound like you need a break

Mumbledore he does seem to like holding something when he sleeps, I just wasn't sure it was safe. I'll try giving him a muslin next time.

Is there such a thing as a break when you have a LO?

I second the muslin! Dd2 refuses to sleep without one to suck/chew on, and was around that age when we let her keep hold of one, before that we'd take it off her when she fell asleep but now she's older (11mo tomorrow) she holds it in a vice like grip between her teeth so I don't even try! She cries if she wakes up and she can't find it. When she started nursery they looked aghast at us when we insisted she had it for naps but they soon realised its significance! We get through several a day, they end up sodden

DS1 is nearly 3 and started sleeping through at 6 months. He was ebf too. DS2 has been more challenging but now at 6 months he's suddenly down to one or two wakings at night which is fine.

I don't know anyone who found weaning made any difference to sleep, i've never understood why HVs think that true.

Oh yes ds2 likes to suck material too. If he doesnt have a taggie or muslin my tops get chewed. Ds1 never was fussed though.

How rubbish for you. MyDD is 9 months old and sleeping only really kicked in when she started weaning. Even now she will only sleep for 40 mins in the day. If she takes longer than 20 minutes to go to sleep in the day, I stop trying otherwise I go mad!
She loves her sleep sheep and that definitely helps.
What do u do when she looks sleepy? I try and make a little routine out of it ie have a cuddle, draw the curtains, put her in her sleeping better and then repeat the same phrase 3 times before putting her down awake. If she then cries I leave her for 4 mins, go back in and cuddle her til she's calm then leave her again for another 4 minutes. And repeat until 20 minutes when I give up and figure she's not tired!

I used to take it out when she was asleep, I was so worried she'd pull it over her face. DD used to relax and let go so we could gently pull it away.

I know what you mean about getting a break but be kind to yourself - snatch 5 minutes with a drink when you can and try and ignore the washing up. I know how hard this is but you can get sorted when things are more settled (which they will be at some point). Maybe your DH could help you out a bit more?

Does he like his bouncy chair? By that age I was doing jobs when DS was awake and we'd chatter and he'd watch (even better once he moved up to his high chair). Then DS would nap on me I didn't need to do chores during nap time and could have a cup of tea/a nap myself.

I don't think weaning will help really, but I think he's ready to be honest. He was starting to have meltdowns whenever I ate, trying to grab my food. Giving him a little bit from time to time is helping with that (when I remember).

MrsHoarder I'll try and do that. I always feel that I should be doing things with him when he's awake but he should probably learn that he can't always have my total attention. I think I would feel better if the house was a little tidier. At the moment the place is in such a state that I have to move things out of the way just to do a simple job like open my wardrobe doors.

Oh yes the bouncy chair was brilliant for when my DD was awake, she loved watching the washing machine go round and round

My dd1 was terrible daytime sleeper. I totally get the frustration about settling taking ages for a short nap. And I used to get anxious about doing stuff or being at someone else's house when she'd need a sleep! Does he sleep in pushchair? I'd try getting out with him for a walk, make the most of the sunshine and just think of it as a nice walk with the bonus being he'll probably fall asleep. Then head home, leave him asleep in the garden and have a cuppa! Have 6 month old dd2 now and she's much easier to settle & will have longer naps. I'm doing nothing differently. But I do still sometimes have those moments of panic when I remember what dd1 was like!

I also found it helpful to not let them get over tired, so at his age, probably about 2 hours awake time between each nap. Maybe even 90mins before first nap. That can really help with settling at bedtime.

If he's not keen in bouncy chair, try a bumbo? You can pick thm up cheap second hand now they're more widely used and they are useful for weaning before they move on to the high chair.

Oh, and how could I forget....White noise! worked a treat for both mine . it's weird but if they were worked up it was the only thing to chill them out!