Other mums taking liberties and asking me to look after their child - how do I deal with it?

[louiseindevon]

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I think you know you've got to step back from this relationship. This woman sounds like she's taking advantage of everyone. The danger of getting involved in a situation like this is you only prolong the agony when eventually you will have to say no.
If you want to be nice about it - then give her some space to find a solution.
Has she any family she can look for support from, is she investigatring child care , if working, she needs something permanent that she, & more importantly her child, can rely on.
You could give her a deadline by which time to help sort herself out - you might even want to point her in the right direction suggest alternative strategies. Either way you need to extracate yourself from this woman & her problems.

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Louiseindevon, you are right to ask yourself whether you would behave like this, because it is then so obvious that she is taking advantage of you. Have any of the other parents come up with any suggestions? I think you need to be clear that, despite this woman's horrendous problems, what she is doing is outrageous. What would you have done if you'd had something else arranged for that afternoon?

Incidentally, I thought childcare vouchers were available for a few sessions a week to cover the cost of a childminder, although this may only apply to 4-yr olds. A childminder, or other daycare, is what she needs.

As well as taking advantage of you she is being somewhat negligent regards her child.
I can see how this is hard for you as you are obviously concerned about the child. Poor thing.
This is a sad situation but my instinct would be to back off and say you can't /won't act as unpaid childminder.

You and other mums can only provide a short-term solution for this woman who evidently has a lot of issues to sort out. Regular consistent child-care must be her first priority if she is working, relying on the "kindness of strangers" is not helping anyone in the long term. Obviously it is nice to know that another mother could help in an emergency but this must be a very limited option. Suggest she lokks at childminders who will pick up from school,.etc, but make it quite clear that you are unable to help except in a genuine emergency.