A few questions about CC

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My DS is 7 months and his night time sleep is really starting to get me down. He can be awake up to 10 times a night and there's no pattern to it - sometimes every hour, most times within 2/3 mins of going to sleep or when he settles after a bout of crying and I take my hands off him in the cot (as from ncss)

I'm not a big fan of cc neither was DH to begin with but now he says that it's worked for other people (friends) so maybe we should try it.
I'm wondering
-- does it kill the 'spirit' of the child? (DS is a very happy baby, no crying in the day, goes down well for day time naps, lively, always laughing even when there's nothing to laugh at and I'm worried that letting him cry, his personality will change and become more distant as he may feel abandoned with the cc. A few other DCs that have been through cc seem a bit distant/not as happy but I don't know what they were like beforehand)
-- DS feeds about 3/4 times in the night - both sides each time, so is used to feeding to sleep and won't stop crying until he's been fed, how do I know if he's genuinely hungry rather than just wanting boob?

Any scientific evidence for/against cc also welcome.

Thanks

Oh also, I worry that maybe he's in pain (headache, tummy ache, teething) so he needs cuddles and is then upset that he's not getting comforted. He doesn't have any teeth at the moment so it could be at any time.

Does your DS have a dummy? My DS1 was the same and we found a dummy helped.

We tried a version of cc. I don't really know how to do it, we just tried putting him down gently in his cot, rubbing his back and then walking out, he would cry, I would go back in and rub his back, then go out again, he would cry, I would wait a bit longer (pop to the loo) and then go back in and rub his back. If after doing this a couple of times he was still crying we would pick him and cuddle him until he fell asleep.

It could be teething. So after you've tried cuddling and dummies etc perhaps try a little calpol etc before you try cc.

We did try leaving DS1 to cry for longer periods - my DM said 20 minutes. We did this once. It was hell for us and for him. He was stressed out and so were we.

He is a very happy toddler now but I will not do this with DS2. I will put DS2 in his cot, go to the loo, say good night to DS1 and then come back in. He might have had a cry in that time and sometimes it does help to release that last bit of energy, but letting them cry for more than 5 minutes just hurts too much.

Read this Controlled Crying Article

I don't normally post on CC threads but just wanted to say that if he is feeding from both sides, it sounds like he is waking for milk. You didn't say if you were planing on not feeding during the night? Maybe work on not feeding to sleep first? Obviously it's up to you.

I do feel for you. My nearly 2 year old still wakes up about 5/6 times a night. (8-10 until recently) it's horrible and exhausting.

Thanks for your replies
Iam Thanks for that article - I'm going to show it to DH and we're definitely not going to do it now. I do let DS cry in his cot when he wants to suck to sleep but I bend down and cuddle him in the cot or lean in and put my arms around him, I never leave him cry for more than a minute or two on his own - that's not the same as cc is it!?
He doesn't have a dummy but will take one when he needs it. I may try it in the night to see if the feeding is just wanting to be settled - he'll soon let me know if he's hungry!
My DM is forthcoming with the 'advice' too, from force feeding him rusks before bedtime to let him cry a bit she means until he's screaming before you go to him!!

Monsters I don't mind feeding at night if he needs it, I do try to only feed every 3 hours as I know he can go that long in between. But at the moment I'm in a catch 22 - is he waking more often because he wants comforting with boob, then I feed him 3 hourly whether he needs it or not where he falls asleep so he keeps waking up at other times and wanting boob iyswim. He is getting better at falling asleep first off on his own so going to try a dummy in the night now.

It is hard isn't it - I'm dreading going back to work as I feel I have a hangover most days and I can't do my job feeling like that! Read the article that Iam posted - it says that it's normal until 3yrs old which has made me relax about it more now.

I've done CC with all of mine.. it's not something you go into and give in when it gets tough. You have to be sure to see it through.

Can I ask though before giving any advise. What is your bedtime routine?

*advice

Our routine is

• go upstairs and put instrumental lullaby CD on
• put on string of star lights and dim lights and close blackout blind
• feed from both sides
• go to bathroom and wash face, neck and hands
• change nappy and put on baby grow/sleeping bag
• read 2 books
• have a cuddle, say goodnight and put in cot

(- feed again if gets to point of screaming a lot)

We've recently done some gentle controlled crying (reassuring every 1-2 mins so it wasn't too traumatic for any of us, and we got him used to falling asleep in his cot, on his own with his dummy beforehand - so a combo of cc and gradual retreat really) with my 8 month old and it has worked wonderfully. We did try it several weeks ago for a couple of nights without success and I regret trying it half-heartedly. This time we used a sleep consultant to advise and reassure us. So I would reiterate a lot of the comments here - make sure you are totally commited to doing it and 100% consistent in whatever you decide to do. I'd also think you need to work on reducing night feeds first too and settling in other ways. We had to cut out night feeds (he only had one) but he didn't really miss it/notice after the first night.