So how do I co sleep safely?

[Liveinthepresent]

Expecting DC2 in a week or so.
With DD she used to often end up in with us for a few hours each night in the early weeks. Not planned and didn't really enjoy it as was anxious about safety.
This time am even more worried - I will do this if needs be as I have to get sleep any way I can - but really need to be sure I am being as safe as I can be.
I know lots of you Co sleep through choice and long term - that isn't for me I don't think..
But would really welcome your advice on how I can make sure if I end up doing it it will be as safe as possible.
dH will be in same bed - nowhere else for him to go.
I know the bits about smoking and alcohol that's not an issue.
Do I need to not use a duvet ? pillows?

I have ended up co-sleeping. Didn't plan to but now I love it! We started off with this co-sleeping bednest Would you consider something similar as a compromise if you are worried about safety?

If you do decide to co-sleep, the two things you have to watch out for are overheating and suffocation.

They recommend you don't use duvet or pillows (I have one little pillow squashed under my head though) and I got a fetching onesie from M&S so I didn't get cold when we first started cosleeping. I dress DD in a baby gro with/without vest depending on room temp. Sometimes I put a large cellular blanket over both of us up to my waist and covering DD's legs. IIRC you shouldn't swaddle co-sleeping babies.

DD sleeps at boob height on my side of the bed as apparently fathers don't have the same instincts that prevent them overlying babies that mothers purportedly have. I always put her down on her back but she often rolls onto her side so she's facing me. Think advice is also to tie long hair back.

I find I wake up every time DD moves but we both go back to sleep so quickly it doesn't matter. I know it's not for everyone but it really preserved my sanity the first six months.

This book is a bit of a co-sleeping manifesto which I understand you may not want, but it really helped me with advice on how to co-sleep safely.

Thank you for the reply - I think I will see how we cope and be ready to consider bed nest etc if we need to co sleep to survive.
Will definitely check out the book.

Good luck x