DH doesn't hear baby at night - I'm going away for a night

[LovelyWeatherForDucks]

Just that really.

Last night when he was wailing I turned the monitor up to its higher volume (louder than the actual crying!) and put it next to his ear when he was sleeping and he barely flinched.

I'm going to a hen weekend in a few weeks time and if I leave DS with DH I'll basically be leaving him with no nighttime care. I don't really want DS to spend the night with my parents or anything as we are just getting his sleep sorted and consistency is very important when he wakes through the night. I'm going to have to cancel my plans, aren't I?
I'm sure it can't be normal that DH can block out all sound?!
Any clever solutions?!

consistency doesn't matter for one night

get DH to co-sleep - he will wake, don't worry.

enjoy your night out

Yes if he doesnt smoke or drink too much get him to co sleep.

He almost certainly does hear her, he just thinks its not his problem because you are there to deal with it.

I would bet you almost anything that when he can't rely on you, he will hear her

Out of interest, how does your dh usually wake?

I didn't used to hear my kids crying at night. My dh used to wake me up to go and feed them (I breastfed so he couldn't do it himself).
However the odd occasion when he wasn't around overnight I slept lighter and their crying did wake me. So I would say to go for your night out. I imagine he will wake up because you aren't there to do it.

My DH was the same. He never stirred or heard anything during the night. I once woke him up because I heard a noise downstairs. He got up, walked to the bathroom, had a pee, came back to bed, said everything was fine.

We were being burgled! I realise now that he wasn't awake, just in some kind of sleepwalking trance. I sprang up when I heard more noises and confronted the burglars in my living room, then chased them out into the street in my PJs and nothing on my feet. DH slept through it all!

However, when he was left alone for a night, he was on alert and woke up easily. I think it's because he switched off when I was there, as I was the one getting up. When he had to do it he didn't go into such a heavy sleep.

How do these people get woken up when they have to getup for work

By the time it is early morning I am generally sleeping lighter so my alarm clock breaks through into my sleep - though I have been known to sleep right through my alarm.

Honestly, he can hear her. He might be good blocking her out as its not his problem, he might hardly remember hearing her in the morning - but I would put money on him being perfectly able to hear her.

They will be fine. If you are really worried put her in the same room as him while you are away.

DH is almost deaf in one ear and is a very heavy sleeper. He never heard DD1 wake up - and even on nights when he'd agreed to be "on duty" I'd have to wake him which kind of defeated the whole point. But on the occasions when I left DD with him overnight (handful of times in the 1st 18 months & then at 18 months for a whole month as we moved country) he woke no problem each time.

He will hear. But if you're still nervous you could move cot in with him so he'd definitely hear.

Thanks for the reassurance and glad it's not just me! Hopefully DS will be sleeping a bit better by then so wake ups won't be such an issue.

He usually hears his alarm (after a while!) - I supposed he is in lighter sleep then / used to getting up at the same time. Although I often have to nudge him! When DS first arrived he would wake...now he's 8 months old and the sleep deprivation has really kicked in he claims his deep sleep is a "coping mechanism" and is very apologetic about it!

If they sleep in the same room he'd wake baby with his snoring!

Maybe I'll find a megaphone and put it in front of the monitor! actually not a bad idea

'deep sleep' as a coping mechanism...? I like it. I'm using that one tonight

And dw, he'll hear when you're not there to sort it & get him to co sleep if you're too worried about it.

He will hear her when he knows you aren't there and that he is the one responsible.

Go and have a good time. If you cancel this, then you will find it harder and harder to stake your claim to have equal leisure time, because you will become the default childcare.

For those of you thinking all of us heavy sleepers are lying, I can assure you not all of us are!
I breastfed 3 dc through the nights and dh would often be shaking me awake. When he went away I barely slept, terrified I'd miss something.
Is baby in your room? He could sleep in baby room if not.

I have conversations in my sleep and dh had to shake me awake after he'd shouted burglar when we were being broken into.

My mum said I was always the same. At university I had a horrid dream about a car alarm, eventually woke up to a fire alarm and found everyone else had abandoned their room long before-they'd assumed I was out when knocking didn't rouse me.

I wake up for work naturally-when I've had my usual 8 hours-I think it's when you're in deep sleep it's harder to wake up.

I think the snoring is more likely to keep baby asleep tbh. He could also get his snoring investigated because snoring can cause bad sleep and be a sign of health issues.

DP doesn't hear DD most of the time, he sleeps deeper than I do. But on the odd night he has been alone with her, he says he has barely slept as he has been conscious of listening out for her. The first time he had her back in our room in the travel cot.