I'm trying to do a very gradual withdrawal with 12mo dd, since feeding to sleep stopped working its magic. I put her down in her cot and then sit beside it until she's asleep. The process takes 30-45 mins.
My question really is how much hands on are you supposed to do? She constantly stands up, so I spend the first 10-15 mins lying her back down again, saying "lie down, it's time to sleep". Once she stays down I normally rest a hand on her chest and try to gradually ease it off, preferably before she's fully asleep. If she starts to cry I rub her and gradually ease her off that too.
But where does the "withdrawal bit" come? Is it in my case, withdrawing the hand gradually sooner so she's more awake when the hand comes off? Or is it withdrawing the lying her back down again? If the latter I'm not sure how I will get her to a sleepy state without lying her down, but at the same time it feels like this is the bit that she needs to learn.