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Sleep

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Original poster

How do I get DD to sleep in the cot?

13 replies

Mckayz · 13/06/2013 10:17

DD will be 1 next week. For the first 6 or so months she slept in a moses backet and then the cot. We went to PILs for a weekend and she wouldn't go to sleep in the cot there and so came into bed with us and she's been there ever since.

I really want her to go back into the cot now. I don't want to co-sleep anymore and I want to be able to put her to bed and having the evening to myself.

Last night she spent about 2 hours screaming at me while she was in the cot and I was sat on the floor next to her. I gave in as we were both crying and not getting anywhere.

DH works away so this is something I need to sort out on my own unless I wait for him to get back in 6 weeks.

I will not do CC or CIO so I need something else. I previously spent about 3 hours doing PUPD with no success.

I know she is tired when I put her in the cot as I feed her to sleep but she instantly wakes up once I put her in.

Thanks.

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freelancegirl · 13/06/2013 14:42

No advice I am afraid as I'm in the same position with DS, aged 11mo. For the last month or so I've had one side off the cot and it pushed up to the bed to try at least get him used to half the cot and the mattress. This weekend the side of the cot is going on and I'm thinking of trying Andrea Grace's techniques. Not looking forward to it. You're doing better than me already as DS won't sleep in the evenings for much more than half hour stretches and will then wake every 2 hours for comfort feeding after I've come to bed. Good luck - let me know what you do!

Original poster

Mckayz · 13/06/2013 14:52

I have just read this article

Might give it a go, can't hurt to try it.

OP posts:

freelancegirl · 13/06/2013 14:58

Yes I've thought about that method too. I've been reading around this for so long and building up to it. This will be the week! I think...

freelancegirl · 20/06/2013 21:32

How is it going mckayz? I am on night 5 of sleep training, very gentle training with the initial goal to just get him to settle for the first part of the night in the cot.
Night 1 was awful as it took an hour and a half. Since then it has been up and down with a couple of set backs but he HAS has a record 5 hours in the cot at one point, albeit having needed resettling. When it comes to the middle of my night I have just taken him in bed with me as I'm too exhausted to contemplate otherwise - that has generally been around 1am to 2am. Am building up the reserves to push it further but can't face it yet!

NutsinMay · 20/06/2013 21:36

Could you feed your DD to sleep lying on your bed and come down for your evening when she is asleep.

Once she is in a really deep sleep, you could try moving her then.

I never had a cot for my DD. I stopped co-sleeping with her full time after a year and put her in a toddler bed with bars at the top end to stop her falling out. I was able to lie next to her and feed her and when she was very sleepy I lay her on her tummy or side and crept away.

freelancegirl · 21/06/2013 00:00

I've thought about a toddler bed Nuts. Will try that if I don't have any luck with sleep training in the cot, I can't speak for OP but for me the feeding to sleep wouldn't be a problem if he stayed asleep. However when I fed him to sleep on my bed he would wake every half hour to an hour and need feeding to sleep again. Then at least a further 3 times once I'd come to bed. The theory is they're dependent on the boob to fall asleep and therefore can't settle themselves at natural sleep cycles.

janey223 · 21/06/2013 00:07

I was going to suggest a toddler bed too. DS was too used to the freedom of co sleeping I guess, after a while out his cot he would not sleep in it. He'll sleep in his bed now but at the moment he's been waking and coming in with me again! I tell its his bed through the day to try and reiterate it and he tells me no

freelancegirl · 21/06/2013 10:14

When did you put him in the bed Janey? And what bars did both of you use? I've even thought of using a single bed with bars. But then the concern is if I am still there feeding him to sleep he might wake just as frequently. I'm also concerned as he starts with a childminder in sept for two days a week and am worried about naps. So trying to ensure he can learn to sleep without me feeding him to sleep,

janey223 · 21/06/2013 23:07

He was 13 months when I put him in his bed, he's got the lindam rail.

DS will go to sleep in his buggy for other people!

NutsinMay · 22/06/2013 20:33

Can't remember what make the bed is. It is a wooden toddler bed size with bars at top end only. Think i bought it from a Littlewoods catalogue.

Yes feeding to sleep does mean they wake up for feeds I'm afraid. My DD2 has slep through a handful of times but normally wakes up about 5 hours after going to bed then comes in with me and then can wake up another two times.

However, my first priority was getting my evening back!

The other thing you can do is get your partner(if you have one, I know OP's works away) to settle them. Yes there will be protest at first but when we tried it with DD2 she only really cried for a while one night and then DH was able to put her to bed every night for a while(she even stopped waking for milk!).

All when tits up when she got a virus and was up a lot in the night and ended up coming in to feed with me in the night.

For a while I couldn't even get DD2 to sleep on boob so I used to walk her round in pushchair when she was showing sleepy signs and transfer her once she was asleep. Yes it's a pain doing this on those cold winter nights but not so bad in the summer (although doesn't work so well when it's light)and might break the link with breastfeeding.

SquidgersMummy · 24/06/2013 11:22

Hey all - we have come to join the party DD is 10mth and co sleeping but last week we put the cot side on as she was lounging off the bed. So far she will go down in the cot but when wakes at 12/1 she ends up in with us....partly because she keeps going to sleep on her tummy and its freaking me out not to be able to hear her breathe. We are in a complete pickle with our lack of routine though. Do you all have set getting up and nap times?? No way she'll go in the cot for a nap so am having to sit with her on the bed or nap too We get out of routine over the weekend and then Monday is a nightmare We need to nightwean. Keep looking at that article and then putting it off......

freelancegirl · 24/06/2013 11:38

Hey Squidgers. Sounds like you're not doing too badly if you are getting her in the cot at first.

Last night was day 8 of some very very gentle sleep training. Wake ups HAVE gone down this week from about 8 a night to about 4 which to me is pretty good. The pattern is changing though and wake ups last slightly longer I think but it is definitely an improvement.

The aim right now is to get him to have the evening sleep in his cot (in my room still) and I will give him a feed after three hours or so as it comforts him and he might be hungry. But any wake ups before that I will not feed.

What I am doing with trying to get him in the cot is like gradual withdrawal without the withdrawal! Ie I feed him in my arms, having a big cuddle and then put him in the cot and sit there with him until he goes to sleep. Sometimes he goes to sleep immediately other times he cries and I will try to pacify him without feeding him. That takes the form of shhh pat, picking him up and even on particularly difficult days (night one!) getting in the cot with him and cuddling him!

Then after he has at least spent the evening, before my bedtime, in the cot I bring him in to cosleep as he usually wakes soon after i go to bed. Gradually I hope the cot part will extend! I have a goal as he needs to be able to nap in a cot by time he goes to a childminder in Sept.

Soon we are going to try moving the cot in his own room but I imagine I will still end up cosleeping part of the night for a while. Naps are still on my bed being fed to sleep but I hope they will fall into place once he gets more used to the cot.

Like I said there are def improvements but its probably not going to be an overnight success. I'd find anything harsher impossible though.

freelancegirl · 24/06/2013 11:41

Oh as for the routine, I'm trying to get better at it but we are often out and about still in the evenings to do much of one so that's probably our own fault. But hey, you have to have a life don't you otherwise you go insane! I've noticed he generally gets tired enough to sleep around 8.15 so I try work bedtime routine back from there, albeit a short one. We usually wake up around 7-8am. Naps are often one morning one that starts around two hours agre he wakes up and one afternoon one that starts around 3 hours after the first ended

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