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Sleep

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Original poster

Should I drop her nap or is it cruel? 20 month old.

21 replies

Skang · 11/06/2013 08:03

DD turns 20 month this week. We cosleep and I'm still BFing her. I've started noticing a massive difference in the days when she has a proper nap during the day in how long it takes her to get to sleep in the evening. She is also increasingly having nights when she is restless for hours or awake for an hour at a time. Not crying or upset but saying 'Hello!' And going on about paddling pools and bubbles... Grrr! When she's just restless with her eyes closed she just wants to comfort suck for hours. Literally wants to do it from about 4:30 until morning.

I have stopped her having an actual nap but she tends to sleep in the car for a bit each day.

Yesterday she had no nap at all and was asleep in bed by 7pm! About an hour earlier than usual. She always wakes at least twice before I go to bed which she still did, but there was no restlessness or anything. She was ridiculously tired in the evening though.

Does it sound like I she keep on cutting out the nap? Or is that cruel?

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TheBirdsFellDownToDingADong · 11/06/2013 08:07

I dropped dd's nap when she was about the same age. It was taking her till 11pm to get to sleep otherwise.

(also co-sleeping and bf)

It was a long time ago (she's almost 10 now) but I remember in the car and stuff shrieking "prod her, poke her, just don't let her sleep!"

drinkyourmilk · 11/06/2013 08:12

Everyone will have their own ideas. Ultimately its down to what works for your child and your family.

Personally I think she is way too young to drop naps. I think she still needs one developmentally. I would be tougher on self settling and see if that helps. I'm definitely in the sleep breeds sleep.camp. However that is just my opinion. I certainly don't think its cruel, and if you get a couple of extra hours sleep in the morning then go for it!

VinegarDrinker · 11/06/2013 08:14

Can you wake her after a certain amount of time (half an hour?) as a compromise?

Numbthumbs · 11/06/2013 17:13

I stopped my DDs naps at about this age as it was disrupting her bedtime and it worked a treat. She is now 23 months and climbed out of the cot so in a toddler bed which brings a whole new set of problems......kids

omama · 11/06/2013 21:53

we had a blip with bedtimes at this age but it was just that....a blip. I tried cutting his nap back but all it did was make him overtired & very grumpy. After a month or so of night wakings from being OT & early wakings I realised he still needed his day sleep very much. Reinstated the nap (2hrs), pushed bedtime just 30mins later & he was much happier & better rested. He kept the nap almost every day til around 2.5 & has now almost dropped it at 2.10

I'm pretty sure the late bedtimes at that stage were just part of a developmental leap. I too think she is probably too young to completely drop the nap. HTH.x

Original poster

Skang · 12/06/2013 20:59

I tried another day of no nap and it was awful, she was obviously really suffering for it in the evening.

She was asleep by 7pm again last night and up at 6am. I knew we would be busy all day from late morning today so got her to have a nap between 9-10am. She was fine the rest of the day and not grumpy at all this evening! She didn't even seem that tired so I was worried she would take ages to go to sleep but was out my 7pm again. Result!

If I wake her up from a nap after any amount of time she is horrendous. crying and raging, throwing herself around, wanting to be picked up but gets angry if I pick her up etc... I can't bear it.

I didn't really want to push her bedtime any further back as up until the day before I started this thread she was going to sleep at about 8:30. I am normally in bed by 10 so I'd barely get any free time at all!

We're moving house next week so I don't really want to start on self settling until we are properly settled in there as its going to take some doing (due to the massive rod I made for my back

Thanks all for your advice! Its much appreciated.

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breatheslowly · 12/06/2013 21:07

I know that this might not be a conventional approach, but perhaps having a nap some days, but not others could work.

Earthworms · 12/06/2013 21:14

Good grief, I'm 40 and can't cope without my nap.

Sorry, no help, I know but I let my toddler dd lead the way on naps, as poster above suggests.

If she's tired, grumpy, etc i offer a nap. She sometimes chooses to sleep, sometimes not.

Original poster

Skang · 12/06/2013 21:19

The thing if she doesn't have a nap at all she doesn't show any signs of tiredness or grumpiness until about 2/3pm and if I were to let her have an hour then she would be up until about midnight.

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Original poster

Skang · 12/06/2013 21:19

I'm hoping I can get away with today again and just get her onto the morning naps as she didn't seem to suffer in the slightest today.

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mummywantsaliedown · 12/06/2013 21:23

My dd dropped her nap around the same age. I gave up battling to get her to sleep and just let her sleep if she zonked out naturally, either in the buggy or car. Most of the time she didn't, but if she did then she must have needed it. She sleeps really well at night and I really believe that she was just ready. It's hard to put a minimum age on things likd that- just take her lead and trust your instincts, I'd say. Hope you have some good nights sleep to come!

IControlSandwichMonkey · 12/06/2013 21:37

My dd gave up napping at 12 months. If she accidentally fell asleep during the day, even for half an hour in the car for example, she would be up until midnight. She was happy and jolly the entire day without a nap from that age.

DS is currently 21 months and we're in a similar situation to you. Some days he has to nap or he's intolerable but the nap generally has to happen in the morning (no later than 10am) or he's still up at silly o'clock (he is currently colouring and singing row row row your boat because he fell asleep on the school run earlier). My main problem is that we have to drive to get dd from school, it's warm in the car and he nods off. If you wake him up on return, he's awful for the whole evening, but if you let him sleep, he's awake until the middle of the night.

In an ideal world, he doesn't nap and sleeps well. Second best is him sleeping for an hour in the morning. Otherwise, he's up late and spends the night tossing and turning, getting up on his knees while still asleep, thrashing about, chattering and bfing. He also cosleeps.

wintersdawn · 12/06/2013 21:47

with my dd (26 months) she is a nightmare without a nap, i am ready to throw her out the front door by 5pm but she only gets an hour and is never allowed to sleep past 4pm. however some days she asks for bed at 6.30 and we don't hear from her till 7 the next morning and others she is in and out of bed till 9.
a friends ds gave up naps at 14 months and then at 2 years old haa suddenly started them again.

scarecrow22 · 12/06/2013 21:57

my DD naturally a morning napper rather than lunch one from very early thoufhbi drummed it our of her when she dropped second nap as to long a day at 10 mo. However - and it's a big however - I am pretty sure her lifetime habit of waking before 6am is because she had those morning naps so her body cut sleep at the opposite end of the day. So keep an eye out for that happening if you are not early morning people.

CreatureRetorts · 12/06/2013 22:22

It's a blip. I've been through a few and it passes. You could be setting yourself up for problems later if she ends up overtired. I don't know anyone who's under 2 year old dropped their nap. Average is around 3.

Original poster

Skang · 12/06/2013 22:29

I did update.. I'm not going to cut the nap. It was awful.

It's not a blip either. I thought it was a couple of months ago but not now.

Scarecrow - she has always been around 6:30ish. I would rather get her to sleep earlier and be up early tbh :) although preferably not before 6..

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CreatureRetorts · 13/06/2013 07:21

It sounds like a sleep regression to me. I'm in the midst of the 18 month one now, combined with teething. I remember ds doing similar and it lasted for ages. As he got closer to 2 (!) and the worst of his teeth were out of the way, it settled down.

MrsHoarder · 13/06/2013 07:30

When ds was dropping his morning nap we had abort a month of having it 2 days in 3, then 1 day in 3 then it was gone. But he's always been a reluctant napper.

IControlSandwichMonkey · 13/06/2013 10:23

CreatureRetorts, pleased to meet you. Both mine dropped their naps under 2. I know a few others who did the same too.

Original poster

Skang · 13/06/2013 19:46

Today she had 40ish mins at about 10:30am, I tried earlier but she wasn't having it. We've been trying to get her to sleep since 7pm and its not going at all well. I've had to send DH in to sing to her because she's wide awake and my neck is killing me already without lying in a toddler bed for hours.

I don't think it really does seem like 18 month sleep regression. Everything I've read about it suggests causes can be: teething - she isn't showing any signs of teething at all at the moment and isn't at all distressed. Separation anxiety - she isn't separated from me at all, I feed her to sleep and lay with her until she is completely asleep same as usual. She isn't separated from me at all during the day. She isn't crying when she wakes, just chatting wanting to get up. She isn't behind developmentally so I can't see why she would be getting 18 month sleep regression at 20 months.

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CreatureRetorts · 13/06/2013 21:23

I stand corrected.

However I'd be wary of dropping naps!

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