It isn't effing fair

[snottagecheese]

DS is 4.5 months and his sleep is crap. It's not the 4-month regression because it's always been crap. He sleeps 2, maybe 3 hours at the start of the night, then wakes every 1.5 hours after that. He then seems to think it's fine to start the day at 6.30. Sometimes he has phases of waking every hour, or even every half-hour, or even - on one memorable night - every 10 minutes or so throughout the night. He won't self settle, he will only feed to sleep, and some evenings it can take an hour or even two to get him down.

I haven't slept more than 3 hours in a row since January. I am exhausted.

DD (now 4) was an abominable sleeper till about the age of 3, and didn't sleep through till she was nearly 4. I realised with horror the other day that her sleeping at this age wasn't actually too bad, it only started to get awful around the 6-month mark. What on EARTH is DS's going to get like? I really, really, really thought I was "owed" a better sleeper this time round. I know it doesn't work like that, but still. It's not fair. I can't spend another 3.5 years like this. I can't.

Sorry, I've just realised there doesn't really seem to be a point to my post. I don't know what I'm trying to say really, maybe just ranting, trying to get it off my chest! Anyone else feeling the same and want to join me?!?

I really sympathise.

Both of mine have been bad, we thought DS1 was awful and were sure that we would get a better sleeper second time around.

Ha bloody ha.

Apart from one blissful month when DS1 slept through before I got pregnant with DS2, I have been chronically sleep deprived for over 5 years.

It utterly sucks.

I feel your pain. My LO who is 6 months still doesn't sleep through and I'm also exhausted. Infact past that now. I'm sad all the time now to be honest. He woke 3 times already tonight and only been in bed since 7.30. I wonder if I will ever feel human again. Sleep deprivation is an illness I swear with hardly any support. Hugs to you xx

Thank you both. It's awful, hey? I don't think anyone who hasn't experienced it can understand how shattering it is, both physically and emotionally. CarlyRose, I know exactly what you mean when you say it makes you sad - I feel that too. I'm so used to being tired that I've forgotten what not being tired feels like, but I think that tiredness develops into a kind of weary mental state.

The only advantage I have is that having been through it before I do know it'll get better, whereas the first time round you honestly feel like it will never end. The disadvantage, though, is remembering how long it took and how many dark days (and nights) there were along the way... Hugs to you both too.

I am having this at the moment too. DS is 19 weeks old and is a crap sleeper. He wakes loads for milk and is up for the day mega early, yesterday was 2.50am and today was 4 - he is all smiles and wont entertain sleep.

Im finding it so hard ive actually gone back at work 1 day a week for a break which seems backwards but at work i get to spend a bit of time by myself and that helps keep me sane (there is only 18 months inbetween my kids so maybe a bit different)

On a plus point my DD (23mo) is the best sleeper ever and usually sleeps 8pm until 9am no problems but last night she learnt how to climb out of the cot so im looking forwards to a few weeks of late evenings, no sleep and super early mornings :(

My mom keeps telling me this too shall pass but im not so sure. I agree that no-one understands that being up all night then watching teleshopping day in day out at 4am is so demoralising.

I have an 18 month old who has never slept through in her life, we have progressed slightly in that now her dad puts her to bed in the cot and waits with her til she falls asleep (i dare not do it or she would want feeding to sleep), he goes to her to all wake ups until 2/3am depending how tired he is then I bring her to bed and she feeds every 30-60 minutes on a bad night.
I have tried to stop worrying about it as it has CONSUMED my life researching, trying different techniques, moaning, crying and worrying about how to get my baby to sleep for a full night. i have given up and will praise the time I get a full nights sleep and finally wean her.
she is currently crying her eyes out upstairs with her dad having no luck settling her (over tired today) and I feel rubbish.
i feel your pain... but yes I whole heartedly agree you were well due a good sleeper and that is why I am NEVER doing this again!!

I totally feel your pain and it really does suck!!! I have a 6 month massively hyper active LO who either smiles in delight at people or screams blue murder. She was a terrible sleeper for the first 3 months, waking every hour, NEVER spent a single night in her moses basket (ended up co-sleeping just to get some sleep), only ever napped if I walked her in the pram constantly and was always over tired. She has got slightly better but has taken a backwards step this week and wants to start her day at 4am which is SO not funny. She's also decided that 30mins is enough for a daytime nap even though she's still tired. She will just scream and scream until I take her out of her cot and then be in a shocking mood!

The only thing I've found that helps is a lullaby CD called The CRS Players Baby Sleepy Lullabies which I play on constant at a low volume if she's being particularly bad. It doesn't always work but it's worth a shot!

Good luck everyone and roll on the day when we can sleep again! I swear when they're teenagers I'm going to drag them out of bed at the crack of dawn to get my own back!!

You poor soul. Can only offer sympathy. DS2 didn't sleep thru till 2.6yo but I see that's chicken feed for you! Hugs.

I am glad I'm not the only one who did not get their 'owed' good sleeper second time round. I thought my 3rd old DD was bad but no my 7mo beats her hands down. I've not had more than 3 hours sleep at a time in SEVEN months. I've given up moaning about it to people DH as I just don't think they care/understand. But I am in a constant fug of tieredness.

It may get better soon. DS was exactly like that at 4 months and I was getting really desperate by approaching 6 months. Now 7.5 months and much better. Moat nights wakes only twice, sometimes once.

Posted too soon!

I really recommend Andrea Grace Gentle sleep solution book

I've had three of the challenging type. The only joy I can offer is that when you reach acceptance and stop hoping, it does get perversely better. Into year seven here (DC1 slept through at 5 years old, DC 2&3 still wake).