DS will self settle in day but repeated night wakings (4 months)

[IWantToGoToThere]

I know that this will pale into comparison with how long others have battled sleep deprivation, but I am on my knees here.

DS2 is 16 weeks old and since 12 weeks his night sleeping has gone down the pan. He has never slept through, but before 12 weeks was at the point where he would wake 2 or 3 times for a quick feed then go back to sleep (awake in moses basket and settled himself).

Now, he goes down at 7pm as usual (after normal bath bed routine) but will wake up any time from 9pm and then every 45 - 90 minutes for the rest of the night. He grizzles initially, then really cries until I feed him (BF). He will maybe feed for 10 minutes or so then falls asleep at the breast. If I try to transfer him into his cot too early, he wakes and it starts all over again. Occasionally I can be up for an hour with him, trying to get him to sleep.

He won't take a dummy and occasionally sucks his thumb for comfort but it's a case of 'if he wants his thumb he wants it, if he doesn't he doesn't' so it's not a guaranteed way to get him to sleep.

I just don't know why he will self settle for daytime naps (even though these can be as short as 30 minutes) but won't for night wakings. I only BF him to sleep at night to minimise the crying and not wake up my other DS.

Can anyone offer any suggestions? Sorry if this is rambly - I am shattered and horribly aware that I may well be going up to feed him in 45 minutes ...

There is a four month sleep regression so could be that. alternatively Sounds like he's self settling for the first part then when he gets to the first light sleep, usually 30 - 45 mins he's struggling to resettle hence short naps as well.
Had that problem with my first ( though he wouldnt put himself to sleep in the first place) To train my Ds to take longer naps and resettle I used baby whisperer pupd. worked for us. But know all babies are different.
Neither of mine would take a dummy either. I introduced a soft toy as an alternative and they were a god send.
www.mothercare.com/Mothercare-Giraffe-Soft-Toy/229704,default,pd.html
Ds1 sucked his horns.
www.johnlewis.com/jellycat-bredita-duck-soother/p230887064
Ds2 still sucks his beak. ( still a baby)

Hope you find a way through it.

My 4MO DS is exactly the same. A friend of mine had a similar problem and figured out he was too squashed in his Moses basket - she moved him to his cot and his sleep really improved, so we're having a go tonight. Other than that, all I can really say is that I empathise! I'll be watching this thread with interest.

We had this for a bit, sleep improved when we went away at about 18 weeks and he was in a travel cot which is much wider than his crib and the difference was amazing. He went from 90-minute wakings to 3-4 hourly wakings and now at 21 weeks he's down to 1 wake between 10pm and 6am.

Google 4 month sleep regression! This all sounds very normal I'm afraid!

Thanks for your responses. I'm puzzled as this started at 12 weeks rather than the 16 week/4 month mark - is it still the 4 month sleep regression if it's started that early?!

I should also add, he's in his cot now in his own room. He went in at around 10 weeks before the sleep deteriorated, so it wasn't the transition to the cot which caused it.

Is there any kind of sleep training I can do at this age? I did CC with DS1 (controversial I know) but did it at 8 months. I'm confused over the guidance/research which suggests you shouldn't let your baby cry - I could probably withhold feeding him and try to pacify him by holding or shushing him, but he will cry and cry, and isn't this what they advise against? My lack of sleep is really knocking my confidence in dealing with this issue and I really need to get this sorted before I do something more stupid like leave my car keys in the fridge.

thanks!!

Is there any chance he's teething? Even chronic low level annoyance which is fine during the day can get much worse when they lie down at night. If he is showing signs maybe some nurofen at bedtime might settle him for longer.

Just had to say I'm in exact same situation with a 20wk old - did CC out of desperation with DS1 at 5.5 months so considering that if this continues for another week...like u if I withhold Bf then he cries anyway even if held - absolutely nothing else will pacify him. Hope someone has better ideas/suggestions!

Leaving the keys in the fridge can happen at any age!!

45-90 mins at night is tough!!! Many many people can sympathise with the real pain that that causes, me included.

He is young so many sleep training techniques are difficult at that age but you could try getting him to self settle at the 7pm bed time, though you may have to change your older child's routine to make this happen. Breaking the link between feeding and sleep at this time might help but it is a bit young.

Do you have both children with you all day? You try getting him to go back to sleep at his middle of the day nap, that might help.

Also, try to get as many feeds in during the day as you can.

Would you / could you put him back in your room so that you shush pat from your bed?

Most importantly, can you get your partner to help? Your baby will not starve if he is held by his Dad for a couple of hours. For me, if I slept from 10pm until 11:30 and 6 - 7:30 I could survive the day. If my partner had to be on duty between 1am and 3 he simply could not function so we split the night settling and set times where I would feed and times where he / I would attempt to settle instead.

Baby whisperer PUPD can be used from 16 weeks ( when we used it). Wasn't sure if to post as know I mentioned it earlier, wasn't trying to be pushy insistent just wasn't sure you knew it could be done that young. Feel free to ignore ;)