Feeding/rocking to sleep. Co-sleeping and breastfeeding regularly in the night. If this was you, how/when did your dc learn self settling and sleeping through?

[peanutbuttersarnies]

I am fairly happy with the situation as it is just now. I can't be bothered to let him cry at bedtime. And I get an ok sleep.
But I'm wondering when it will all stop. Did your dc just decide one day that a cuddle at bedtime was ok? Did they miraculously start sleeping through at age 2? 3?

I should have said he is 14 months

Fed to sleep (and co-slept) til about 5-6 months, then changed the bedtime routine round so last feed was earlier and DP rocked to sleep in his own room.
Then DP stopped rocking (6-7 months I guess?), we held DS to sleep and then did a couple of nights of pick-up/put-down until he just needed to be patted in his cot.
By 9 months he was mostly self-settling without being patted, and we also dropped the last night feed then.

Slept through consistently at 2.5 years.

Yep i did this with mine, they were all.better at self settling by 18mths and reliably sleeping through at two ish. Went into own beds in own rooms at three.

Didnt do cc or cio.

Did do a bit of patting and shushing and had a consistent bedtime routine, but they basucallu grew out of it :)

My dd is also 14 months , I started to put her down half awake in her cot when she was 10
Months . She grizzles and cries sometimes but generally settles , she doesn't q sleep through the night though and we have a different set of problems
Can I ask what his feeding habits are in the day and night ? I ask because our dd eats well in the day but still cries for a feed at 2 ish then 5 am

I fed to sleep up until DD was about 20 months. She was a hideous sleeper and would wake 3 times every night so feeding back to sleep was quickest and easiest.

At 20months I decided to change her bedtime routine around so it went: bath, feed, story, into cot. In order to separate feeding from sleep (had tried Pantley's no cry sleep solution without much success).
She was furious for one night but quickly and happily adjusted.

I also stopped feeding at night time then but would cuddle her over the side of the cot (she got more upset if she was picked up but not fed). I would sit with her, rub her back, hold her hand and sing until she fell asleep though.

Within a couple if weeks she (finally!) started sleeping through. Then when she was 2, I dropped the bedtime feed so we just did bath, story, into cot and sleep. Because the routine stayed pretty much the same, she didn't even really notice the missing feed and still slept through.

DS - stopped feeding to sleep about 18months, he had milk in a cup at bedtime instead and would go to sleep by himself at that time. He still woke in the night until just before 2yrs and used to come in and sleep with us after first waking. Since 2yrs he's been a bombproof sleeper (nearly 7 now!)

DD - also stopped having a bedtime bf around 18 months (but continued to bf at other times until nearly 4yrs). She wasn't such a fan of self settling, but we used to sit with her until she went to sleep until about 2.5 yrs. She was nearer 3 by the time she was reliably sleeping through the night. She's 4.5 now and sleeps pretty well, with the odd nightmare, we don't often have to get up to her.

I didn't do any controlled crying, I spose we did a sort of 'gradual retreat' with DD, as to start with I/DH had to sit there rubbing her back while she dozed off, then gradually moved further away over time until by the end I was sitting on the landing.

First one - around 6 months sporadic self settling but on/off/on/off until 18 months plus. Slept through regularly from 2. He had reflux and food intolerances.

Second one - around 6/7 months self settling then out the window until around 12 months then on/off currently on (ie self settling) - she's 18 months. She's just starting to sleep through. We coslept until 9 months when she started coming to find me and play

With my second, I would keep trying to get her to settle herself but would rock or feed if it didn't work. We're still BF at 18 months but after her bedtime feed she doesn't fall asleep ever as I feed her so early. She's also used to being winded post feed so that she doesn't have the feed to sleep connection. I was more relaxed with her and I couldn't waste time rocking for ages etc for naps as had to sort her brother. So she got used to going down for naps after a feed (so I'd feed, leave her in the cot with a toy then dash to check on toddler and on occasion she'd sleep and it went from there).

So basically give them a chance to self settle. They might cry for a few minutes then settle. If they keep crying them go and sort them out with a cuddle. You can change what you do, it just takes time and you can always change your mind if something doesn't work.

Thanks. It's great to hear others stories. For naps he generally has one nap of about 1.5 hrs. I rock him in buggy. He usually exhausted by bedtime and falls asleep feeding. If he has 2 naps he doesn't fall asleep feeding at bedtime and I have to rock him. I prefer feeding to sleep so deliberately make sure he's really tired!
I did try to settle him in the cot a few weeks ago. But it took a couple of hours of him rolling around etc and never actually getting there. So I have taken the easy option of feeding and decided o try again later on.

18 months and...16 months so not too long to wait.
Made a special thing of sorting out own room/cot etc.
Fed to very sleepy on chair beside cot then put down. Stayed on chair till asleep for first week, moved around room and in and out 'tidying up' for a few more days then they were fine.
One had been sleeping through before anyway, one started when in own room.
There was some crying but it was just if I put them down too awake in the early stages. I'd then just pick them straight up and refeed to sleepy.

Both are fab sleepers (now!) and on the rare occasions they call us in the night, we know there's something seriously up. They never want to come in our bed and, even when ill, complain it's too hot and they want the space of their own.

None of mine could be left to self settle as they wouldn't grizzle then drop off. It was grizzle-wail-scream in short order!

Logged on to post on this topic tonight in mild desperation, only to see exactly my topic! We are at 10 months, feeding to sleep and starting out in her cot, doing one or two resettles in her cot in the hours that follow (either more feeding from me or a DP intervention which sometimes works, other times leads to a desperate whisper into the intercom to me to go and assist), then coming into bed with me whenever she first wakes in the night after I've gone to bed, more often than not turning into a feedfest for her through the night that leaves me feeling utterly broken some mornings.

Evenings to 11 p.m. are gradually improving - wakings are no longer every 45 mins from when she was put down, so I can definitely see progress. I love cosleeping on the nights where she isn't awake every hour but sometimes I feel beaten by it all. I don't want to stress her - she gets very distressed very quickly if I try to help her stay in her cot and I am not willing to go there with her, so not sure where I can go from here.

Looking to return to work imminently, I wonder if anyone has any suggestions for helping her to stay in bed with me in the night but maybe feeding a little bit less often? I know this will pass but it is hard to function now when I am not back at work, and will be impossible when I am working again.

Daytime naps are good and usually take place when she's out in her buggy, I'm working hard on making sure she is the right kind of tired for when she goes to sleep. We have a good bedtime routine. She's a great baby, she is just killing me with the night time nuzzling. I'd really really really welcome any tips from those that have been where we are now.

Anyone?

lunnoninnit I was similar with my dd. we just made sure she was winded and not bothered by teeth and kept trying to put her back in her cot (although would bring her in with me if she didn't settle) and she got there. My dd woke a lot due to reflux and intolerances though.

DD is 16 months and co sleeps and feeds back to sleep in the night. DH does bedtime and used to rock her to sleep and pop her on the bed and sneak out, cue one of us going back up 3 times or more between then and us going to bed.

Just this week DD has decided she doesn't want to be rocked to sleep and instead wants to "dick about on the bed" in DHs words, then when she's had enough she lies down and goes to sleep herself. We've noticed she doesn't wake up now when she realises he's gone, but I think I wake her when I go to bed.

Her new mattress to go on the floor in her own room has arrived and we are going to go for it with her in her own room. We are going to carry on doing what we are doing now and I'm going to sleep in with her for a couple of weeks to get her used to the room. Fingers crossed for sleeping through.

Hi lunnon. You are much the same as us then. I kind of resigned myself to the fact it won't last too long and at the moment it is manageable. But I do worry that I am just putting off the tears til later. Like when he is 2.5 or so. Cos imagine it would be hard to do sleep training then. Hence why I started this thread in hope of some other experiences. In terms of trying to reduce the night feedings I really don't know either. I have heard that the no cry sleep solution recommends jut turning the other way, so the breast isn't so easy access! But I always feel that dc are too vulnerable like that. That I might roll on him.

DS2 was fed to sleep and used to come into bed with us when he woke in the night. I night-weaned at around 16 months when he started mucking about during the night feeds. We used No Cry Sleep Solution and I think it took about a month to be able to settle him at night without feeding.

Kept feeding to sleep for longer. He was fine with DH putting him to bed if I wasn't there though. Can't remember when I got bored of feeding to sleep, but I think we just switched to me cuddling him in his bed for a couple of minutes. Kept doing this for ages but recently moved him to the same room as DS1, and he now seems happy without it (he's 3.9). He's still not the world's greatest sleeper, but waking in the night / invading my bed is probably now only once or twice a month.

xpost - I actually think sleep training is easier when they are a bit older, just because they understand more, and you can make deals with them, like "you can't have milk, but we will put your story CD on and I will cuddle with you for two minutes".

ds is 2.11and often sleeps 8-4ish, feed and then sleeps til 7 or 8. He used to wake every 20 mins - 1 hr. Did it all his own, gradually improving and sleeping for longer, with blips when ill or teething.

He will also settle with a cuddle and understands sleepy time now, not milk time. I'm so relieved and a bit smug after all the rod for your own back bollocks I got for co-sleeping and bf to sleep. IME if you can cope in the short term they will sort it out themselves, don't worry!

Purple, I hear you re the rod, my ears are ringing. I'll just stick it out then and cross fingers that she chills out and sleeps longer as time passes.

Peanut, I am turning my back on her, and she is tapping me on the shoulder to tell me she wants more :).

Nice to hear about others going through it lunnoninnit, my 8.5 month old used to self settle, only wake for feeds etc and is now a nightmare sleeper! Since 3ish months I've had to feed him to sleep and now even that doesn't work, he just comes off the boob and starts screaming. It's like all of a sudden sleep is painful. I've been happy to co sleep and bf every 2 hours on the understanding that it will improve with time but its just got worse and worse. I've been thinking of giving up bf but I really don't want to. If only I could see some light at the end of the tunnel! To be fair to him he is teething and trying to crawl but there is always something going on. Might go away for a weekend and leave DH to it to save my sanity!