Is sleep training supposed to be like that?

[schroedingersdodo]

DS2 is nearly 7 months, and for about about a month I've been 'sleep training' him. For every nap or for night sleep, if he doesn't fall asleep on the breast I put him in his cot and leave. He stays there, playing and babbling for a while, then moaning and then crying. When we moans I go back in the room, comfort him, and leave. When he cries I pick him up for a while, or pat him, or keep my hand on him. After a while he falls asleep with exhaustion.

The whole thing takes 20 to 50 minutes. Then he sleeps for 20 to 40 minutes. Then 2 hours later, we start all over again.

I really can't believe that's what 'sleep training' is!

Is there supposed to be 'progress'? Because we've been doing that for a month and he doesn't seem to fall asleep faster, or more happily. Things are exactly the same as they were a month ago.

The books say that he will learn to happily fall asleep by himself, but when is it going to happen? When he is 5? The whole things seems pointless, so I need to know: am I doing it wrong?

I might get flamed for this, it i think there will be progress, around about the time he would have mastered self settling himself if there hadn't been any sleep training :)

I think sleep training is a way for parents to feel like they're 'doing something'. It gets you through the hard patches because you have something to 'do' and to focus on, but I'm not sure it really gets you to the other side any more quickly.

The other option is to just do whatever works best for you, safe in the knowledge that nothing stays the same for very long, and let your DC master these things when they can.

He is probably just too young.

That and i think you need to be totally consistent so sometimes training and sometimes letting him fall asleep on you won't work.

I did something similar with dd but didn't let her cry. I also fed her earlier so she didn't fall asleep on my boob.

There were times I'd cuddle her to sleep, other times if leave after saying good night.

She got the hang of it after a few months and now I can leave after feeding and a cuddle.

HappyAsASandboy I used to think as you, but then DS1 is 3yo and still hasn't learn to self settle! He is a horrible sleeper and I'm dreading the possibility of several more years without sleep. That's why I'm trying to do something different this time.

ThinkAboutItTomorrow I know he is young, but I wanted to start before he could sit by himself (he has just started). I remember trying to keep DS1 in the cot and he would stand up and jump and, being so tired that he had no balance, always bang his head on the bars.

(Can you tell I'm a bit traumatized by DS1's sleep?)

CreatureRetorts good to know that after a few months it worked, maybe we will get there eventually. And in my defense, I don't let him cry alone, I always pat or hold him... (guilty mum, moi?)

I think patting just winds them up! So I just held dd.

I will also add, I have an older ds who doesn't like sleeping alone. Dd is much easier in this respect although it wasn't until we got closer to one did it get easier. Now a dream in comparison

It can take a while! My twins are two and a half and have just got there! I just felt that it was easier to keep going than to try and change things.

Good luck!