WWYD - 20 month old only sleeping through if co-sleeping...

[Nicolaeus]

Ok, so it's kinda a no-brainer, but still, would like some opinions.

DS is 20 months and has always been a bad sleeper (although vastly improved at 12 months when we found reflux meds which work).

If DS co-sleeps with me (DH sleeps in DS' single bed) he will sleep through the night, or vaguely wake crying but I just need to say shush and he goes back to sleep.

If DS sleeps in his bed he wakes up at least once, if not more (not entirely sure how much as I tend to take him into our bed or get into bed with him).

Thing is, up until now, we've pretty much gone for the co-sleeping option because we're all so knackered from the previous months horrendous sleeping (or rather non-sleeping). However, we want to TTC number 2 and I don't fancy co-sleeping whilst pregnant/with a newborn.

From experience, we've not been able to greatly influence DS and his sleeping patterns - all that happens is we have lots of crying, then we give up and a while later he naturally starts doing what we were struggling to get him to do before IYSWIM? I've kinda been hoping he'd outgrow co-sleeping by himself....

So WWYD?
Wait until you actually get pregnant to try to get DS back in his bed?
Wait until he's old enough to be bribed?
Or just put DS back in his bed now and accept you're back to getting up several times a night?

Why would he ever "outgrow" co-sleeping? From his point of view, he gets the best of all worlds - security, attention, comfort etc. And he gets you to himself all night since you say that your DH is in DS's single bed. Does your DS really have a bed to sleep at only 20 months? I would have thought a cot would be much more effective. If I were in your shoes and hoping to have another child (and perhaps a married life!) I would buy a cot if you really don't have one, put DS in it and serious stick to controlled crying for as long as it takes for him to get it! Unless you want to be responsible for his sleep for the next few years, you're going to have to tough it out until he learns to self-soothe. With 2 children myself, I know just how hard it can be to get enough sleep (and how heartbreaking it is to listen to your baby cry), but believe me, in the long run it will be the best for him as well as you. Both my children were much happier and better rested once they were able to put themselves to sleep and, barring illness, stay asleep through the night. Good luck! Hope this helps.

Thanks.

We had a cot but from 15 months he refused point blank to go in it.

A bed with a barrier works fine and he happily naps in it and goes to sleep in it at night...it's just he then wakes up in the night and cries.

He can go back to sleep again, just won't 9 times out of 10. (I always wait before getting up to him)