6mo - dummy, swaddle, jet lag and napping. I'm so confused!

[MaMaPo]

Some background - baby C has never been a great sleeper but fell into an ok routine at about 4.5m. She is swaddled, fed to sleep in the evening, dream feed at 10-11, feed around 4am and up at 6.30-7. Naps were hit and miss but she would usually be ok in cot for a morning nap and a slightly longer midday nap. She uses a dummy if being rocked to sleep and no amount of soothing in her cot ever worked - she needed to be held.

Then I messed everything up by bringing her to Australia at about 21 weeks. Jet lag meant she was awake 3-4hours in the middle of the night, and this lasted about 9 days. Since then she goes down ok in the evening (solid bath/feed routine being upheld) but from 10pm wakes every 1.5-2 hours and is difficult to resettle without feeding. She doesn't seem hungry. Transfers back to cot often fail.

Added complication is that she is looking like she may roll, and has started stretching out the neck of her zip up swaddle trying to get her fingers in her mouth. She will invariable pop her dummy out with her fingers if even vaguely awake. She shares a room with us (small flat) and we haven't yet begun weaning in earnest.

That's a lot of background! Here's the point of my post. I'm flying back to the UK this week and don't know where to begin to address her sleeping. Obviously just need to live out the jet lag, but I'm thinking she needs to be weaned off the swaddle pretty soon. Can I wean off both dummy and swaddle, given she invariably pulls out her dummy when her hand is free? If I need to wean swaddle first, how the hell can I stop her constantly hitting her head/pulling out the dummy? Should I introduce a comforter? Any recommendations for gentle sleep training? Was all this inevitable anyway? Is my decent sleeper gone for good? Help!

Sorry for the messy and confusing post. It's indicative of my mental state...

Hiya Mama, i hope someone with far more knowledge than me will be along to help you shortly. I have a few ideas though but its just what i would try 1st. You've probably thought of most of them yourself already.

The 1st few days your home i wouldn't worry about a routine and would just let C sleep when she wants. The only thing i would do is try and give her a bath or a shower between 7pm and 8pm for those 1st few days.

I think after that i would carry on giving her the shower between 7pm and 8pm and then i would lie her on my bed without a swaddle. I would put her dummy in the bed and a few of her teddies and also her bottle (if she has one). I wouldn't speak to her but i would let her play with her teddies/dummy and watch for signs of tiredness when she shows them i would either feed her or hold them dummy in her mouth.

Hopefully she'll fall asleep at this point but if she doesn't i would stay next to her in bed and follow this pattern till he eventually does. Once she falls asleep i would transfer her to her cot unswaddled. Everytime she woke up through the night i wouldn't pick her up out her cot i would change her nappy , then feed her or hold her dummy back in her mouth.

Once you put her in your bed of a night i would not leave your bedroom with her for any reason. I would try to keep your room fairly dark at this time. Also i would have a time in my head that you refuse to get her out of the cot in the morning before. For example every morning she can only get out of her cot after 8am. If she wakes up before try your best to leave her there. If she wakes up after get her up for the day.

In the day i would be fairly relaxed, i would play with her and watch for signs of tiredness once i saw them in the day i would feed her and hopefully put her down somewhere quite light to sleep.

So my main plan would be

• keep bedroom dark of a night
• shower or bath at the same time everynight
• lie in my bed with her until she falls asleep
• let her play with her toys but you don't play with her
• transfer C to cot unswaddled once shes asleep
• do not take out of the cot once shes in it.
• take her out of the cot in the morning at a time that suits you
• daytime you play with her but let her sleep in a fairly bright room when she wants.

Sorry for the long post, hope theres something in there that may help. Or that someone more knowledgeable comes along soon.

Thanks hales, there are loads of great ideas here I've not thought of at all! Thanks very much.

I'd be interested in anyone else's thoughts too. It's a tricky situation!

Maybe repost it in Chat Mama it may get more help

Hi! I live with an 8 hour time difference between us and the UK so have done this a few times! It's never fun but there are things you can try

Firstly the waking every couple of hours seems to be common amount me and my friends, time taken to go back to normal length of sleep varies even when the babies seem to be back on their usual schedules. But they do eventually, you just have to ride it out I think! It's like the shock of the time change throws them out a bit.

The main thing is to use day light as much as you can to re-establish the difference between night and day. Get outside for as much of the first few days you are home as possible. Naps outside in the pram if you have a shady spot too. As it's summer get black out blinds up at night to avoid early wakings throwing things off even further. If you get off the plane in the morning try and keep your baby up for chunks of time - so they are tired at night time. I usually try and limit day time sleep so I am waking them every couple of hours (the length of the longest day time nap for us) and then trying to keep up for a while before they nod off again. I do this from day 1 - the sooner you start the sooner it's done I think! Although I don't try to reestablish our normal routine for a few days! It's a miserable first day but if you let them sleep all day you will be up all night, and you're tired too! So basically I let them nap when they need to, but not for ages and then I do the usual bed time routine at 6pm for a 7pm bed time and try and get them to sleep! If they won't I keep them in the bed room and do 'wind down' type activities like singing quietly until they sleep. When they wake I keep the lights off and we don't go downstairs to play. I also refuse to leave the room until 7 am UK time - that is morning, let's have breakfast now etc....

I do give milk if they are hungry (because your digestion gets jet lagged also and takes 1 day per hour time change to adjust apparently!), or other food which might help sleep if they are starving. I take a "whatever you need to" approach to getting them to sleep at night for these few days! With food in general I offer it at the appropriate times for our routine from the first day (assuming they are awake at that time of course!), plus any other time they are hungry.

I have a few expat friends who swear by melatonin for jet lag, even for their little ones, but I haven't tried it myself and would be cautious I think. I won't be giving it to my 6 month old when we go home in August. I also don't get my doctor to prescribe anything to promote sleep, but I know plenty that do (out here - not in the UK!)

I usually find it takes 3 to 5 days to get the routine back, but about two weeks to stop the night wakings. We also seem to find going back in time easier than forwards, because then we are tired at bed time even though we wake early!

Good luck....!

Great ideas, thanks. Here's hoping there's some sun in London this week.

Mintslice, for some reason I thought coming this way (toAus) was easier - v happy to think it may be less disruptive going back to the UK. Love your username - have plenty of Mint Slice to take back. May need to add TimTams, Cherry Ripe and Shapes. And Twisties. Mmmm.