Gah! Anyone have suggestions for balancing the needs of a non-napping baby with those of a neglected 3yo? :(

[INeedThatForkOff]

Poor DD is entertaining herself yet again while I try to get 5mo to sleep for longer than 10 mins. I guarantee she will be here in less than a minute, talking at top volume and I'll have to start the whole ridiculous process again.

DS was awake at 6, napped for a few minutes this morning (less than 20, I'd say), and this afternoon for less time than it took me to do the washing up. Apart from the fact that I never get anything done, there's never any time for cuddles or playing with DD either, because obviously with so little sleep DS tends to be quite demanding when he's awake. There's no way he'll sleep at all without BFing, so I seem to spend a lot of time sitting with him while my lovely little DD watches CBeebies. She wet herself rather than just get on the potty without me this morning, even though she's more than capable of going herself

Feel like I'm failing badly. Help!

Have you tried a sling/wrap to carry him in? Could be a way of keeping him happy/asleep but being able to move around still. Theres moby wraps on ebay, or similar "imitation" ones that are mostly just as good but cheaper.
You are definitely not failing, a 5m/o is hard enough work alone without a 3 year old as well!

I've got a stretch and a more substantial carrier which he'll tolerate for a while if I'm on my feet. He'll also sleep in the pram if it's moving. The thing is I just want some time to sit and play with DD.

You are not failing, it's just ridiculously tough at times. Can you push him to sleep in the buggy in the house and then spend time with DD? Or if he wakes up when it stops moving get someone else to take him out for a long walk on a regular basis? I had little help from family as we live some distance away but I paid a friends childminder to take DS for walks when he was tiny so I could have some time with DD, only once or twice a week so didn't cost loads and sounds a bit crazy now but it helped. And at weekends I used to try and make sure we had time just the two of us whilst DP had DS. Also we spent a lot of time cuddled up on the sofa DS breast feeding on one side and DD watching cbeebies on the other. Good luck, it does get easier!

You're not alone. I go through this too with my 3 year old and my 7 month old. Is crap and makes me feel like a crap mum sometimes and run ragged.

No advice (apart from - take a deep breath and try to not flip out!), but just wanted to say you aren't alone!

I have a 5mo and a 3yo too, and I'm lucky that DD1 is very good at playing by herself and they both have naps. But I do still feel guilty that I don't get much 1:1 time with either of them. Even when DD2 is asleep and I should be interacting with DD1, sometimes I just need to catch my breath and have a hot drink while DD1 plays with Lego/drawing/iPad/CBeebies. I'm trying hard to spend more time playing and doing activities with DD1, even just doing one thing a day (playing a game, drawing some pictures) makes me feel better.

You're not alone, and you're not failing. It's really hard, but it will get better :)