Suddenly loathes his cot (18 months)

[3smallboys]

DS2 has always been brilliant about going to bed, whether for naps or at night, but for the last 3 days he's screamed as though pins were being stuck in him every time I've so much as carried him towards his cot. Tonight DS1 (4 yrs) and I spent an hour with him IN the cot before bedtime, playing and reading to try to convince him that it's an OK place to be. He only howled for 10 minutes after we left, but I reckon that's because he was sooo pooped after refusing to nap today. Last night he woke in the night when dh put his nose round the door at 4am and screamed for 1 hour until dh went to bed with him on the sofa bed . It's really out of character - any ideas? Sleep is critically important in our house at the moment as ds3 is 2 months old (ds2 wasn't very impressed when we brought the baby home, but didn't develop sleep problems then, and now pretty much ignores the baby).

Just beause he ignores the baby doesn't mean it hasn't affected him. He may be a bit anxious which is understandable for a toddler when a new family member arrives. How long has he been doing this? One other possibility if it has only been a short time is that he may be getting ill or something. Ds always wakes up and hates going to sleep for about 3-4 days before he gets a cold or is ill.

I have to say though that I think around this age is a classic time for starting to be difficult to get to sleep. Ds (17 months) went through a stage last month where he wasn't going to sleep until 9pm - This from a child who though he woke a lot at night always went to sleep exhausted at about 6pm or earlier and slept for at least 5-6hrs straight - though 12am onwards was a different matter .

He still cries hysterically now for a lot of his naps and at bedtime though generally I find if I stay in the room too long with him he just protests more. If I leave he usually cries a bit but is asleep in 10 minutes or sometimes less. The worst wake-ups are the 4am/5am ones as he can cry for ages then (he's had enough sleep not to be shattered hence the ability to cry for ages but not really enough to be happy or well-rested). On those I sometimes get him and take him into bed if after 10-15 mins he isn't settling back to sleep which is quite often.

I would try and be extra attentive during the day in as much as that is possible with a new baby and consistent about bedtimes and routines etc. It should pass though it is a nightmare while it is going on I know.

At the moment ds almost makes me laugh as he gets hysterical if he thinks I am putting him to sleep and crys inconsolably but at the same time often turns onto his front with his thumb in his mouth and continues to cry and try and keep his eyes open even though it is obvious he is shattered.

After a reasonable amount of soothing/re-assurance/cuddles etc. (never more than about 30 minutes - more often 10-15 mins)I leave the room at this point saying something like 'mummy is going now as I can see you are having trouble getting to sleep with her here - night night etc.)as it is obvious my presence is making it more difficult for him to actually get to sleep.

He does protest though very loudly but usually not for long. If the crying/not sleeping goes on for a while I do get him up and try again 1/2 an hour later. That almost always works. Sometimes I've just misjudged it and he isn't tired yet.

You must be exhausted - there's nothing worse than 4am yelling that goes on and one.

I think ds2 is upset about the baby, though has become quite cutely curious about him, and points and says his name when he hears him crying (surprising only because ds2 only has a couple of recognisable words). I wonder if he's had a nightmare that's frightened him. You're right that he has a cold, and so do both his brothers. We're rarely without at least one virus in our house :(

But as I write, all three are sleeping peacefully in their own beds :o

Yes 4am is terrible especially on the days I know I'm going to work. He had a spate of those wakings a couple of weeks ago but luckily we seem to be nearer 5.30/6am wake up now which are more manageable (sort of anyway). I 'm having it easy though compared to you. With a newborn and a non sleeping young toddler you must be beyond shattered.

I do hope things get better soon. If it is the new arrival a bit of time should sort it out though I know how much that seems a long way off now.

Hi im going through something similar at the moment and wondering if anyone had any advice for me? My daughter is almost 18 months and about 2 weeks ago starting screaming when left in her cot. I've tried reading to her but nothing seems to settle her she just screams herself to sleep.This can last anything from 10 mins to an hour and a half! This is inturn affecting her mood in the day waking around 6am instead of 7:30ish she tired b4 the day even starts and then just throws tantrums when frustrated because of being overtired. Anyone Help? Just feel like i'm constantly telling her off at the mo!

have you tried a toddler bed? They're very low so easy to get in and out of. DS hated his cot.

Our dd1 hated her cot and at 17 mo we put her on a matress on the floor. It was much better for all of us, and if she was poorly it meant that if necessary we could bunk in with her. She's now a fantasic sleeper. It wasn't so succesful with dd2 but it's still a lot easier than trying to settle a two-year-old in a cot. In both cases we put stairgates on their bedrooms doors. HTH.

id go for a toddler bed, my ds has been in one since 17 months and sleeps so much better , i think they start getting to that age where they want to be a bit grown up plus its great for in bed cuddles while reading the bed time story and settling them back down if they wake
put a stairgate on the door if you do though