Toddler sleep problems - 29 months old

[ClareL]

My DS 29 months used to be a fantastic sleeper until he started climbing out of the cot at 22m. Even though he is now in a bed he has never got back into a normal sleep pattern and wakes regularly. I am now determined to get him back into a normal sleep pattern. He doesn't have a sleep during the day - so goes to bed with no problem. He then wakes from about midnight onwards. I have now started to give him a bottle of milk when he wakes up - which I know is a stupid thing to do - but he likes to cuddle the warm bottle. But what do you do when he wakes next time. I have watched all the progs on the telly about the return to bed with no conversation - but what do you do when you can't even get your toddler to actually get into bed - because they are kicking off big time. Plus I have a DD who has to get up for school in the morning. I have tried sitting on the edge of his bed until he nods off and reading a book, to stay awake, by the light from the door but the pages are swimming!! They make it look so easy on the tv but my DS is not a quiet child. He is a complete live wire and when he kicks off - he kicks off!!! I have put a gate on his bedroom door to stop him escaping from his bedroom - but he climbs over it!! I have read the Christopher Green book and he mentions tieing string to a door handle but there isn't anywhere near enough to do this without it being dangerous. Even if he would just let me walk him back into his room and just lay in bed crying - that would be easier. He goes mental!!
Help!!

ClareL - YOU HAVE MY DS!!!!!!
I have a posting on the Sleep topic as we have the same problems.
DS was a fantastic sleeper until he escaped from his cot, then climbed over the stairgate and then pulled stairgate off the door when we tried to position it higher. I bought the Toddler Taming book and did the rope trick but this failed miserably as door handle nearly came off as DS loses it big time, actually I wasn't happy when we did this as DS sounded like a caged animal and felt we were doing serious psychological damage to him, far worse than any controlled crying that we ever had to do.
DS currently wakes in the night and will stay awake for about 2hrs with us putting him back to bed god knows how many times. We've tried the no talk, no eye contact, we've tried the loving method of "Mummy loves you, now you stay in bed" lots of kisses and cuddles. We've tried "GET BACK TO BED!" and we've also used the smack threat which we have carried out and which worked for the first couple of nights and then he couldn't careless! We re now considering co-sleeping as we are not coping very well with the lack of sleep and with baby no.2 due in 8wks we are getting very worried that 4-6hrs sleep is going to turn into 0hrs sleep. At least if we co-slept we'll all be rested.
I'm sorry I haven't got any advice but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. Mumsnet is a great place to share problems and realise that there are other Mum's out there with the same children.

Thanks Wellsie. Nice to know as you say that I'm not going it alone. I sleep with my DS but its awful. He is the biggest fidgit in the world and likes to sleep holding chunks of my hair. I wake up in the morning with the hairdo from hell and then I have to do the school run. He never liked sleeping in our bed and my hubby couldn't stand it - but couldn't stay awake long enough to help with the sleep issues. I now sleep with him in his bed and have a terrible nights sleep. The last 3 nights have been the best we've ever had. I think he has a touch of hayfever and have been giving him benadryl during the day. Even though it is non drowsy it just seems to of whacked him out. He is still waking every night but I give him a bottle of milk (which I know I shouldn't - but hey it works) cuddle him whilst he drinks it then he climbs back into bed on his own and goes back to sleep without my hair for comfort. This has only been for the last 3 nights tho - so I am hoping that this might be the start of things to come or could just be that he feels whacked out from the hayfever/benadryl. Who knows!!

Not sure if this helps but what about sleeping in their room. When DS wakes in the night and isn't ill, one of us beds down on his floor so he knows we're there but gains nothing from staying awake. We've found that he goes back to sleep quickly and we can return to our bed, we avoid the confrontation and he realises that he's not going to get to disturb both parents, watch a video or whatever.

I think DS often wakes because he's cold or genuinely thirsty.

It currently only happens once a week on average so not quick the on-going problem you have to endure.

I have a chair bed in ds room totally against all supernanny's advice but it's the only way we get any sleep, he used to wake every night without fail but now it's every now and again. I ended up giving him his pirate ship to play with in bed last night - I know I shouldn't but it meant I could get some sleep. I would try water in a bottle rather than milk, my ds uses it for comfort and I can't bare to deprive him of that. I tried a few of the techniques, co-sleeping was a nightmare but having a camp bed in his room seemed to help loads

My ds is the same - 26 mo. He was fine in his cot - but we moved house a month ago and were renting and he got used to a single bed. Now it takes us half an hour or so to get him to stay in his bed when he first goes down about 7.30pm. Either nicely or shouting or holding the door closed with him howling at the other side.
Then most nights he wakes between 3am and 4am. He always asks for milk - but like you I think its more for comfort.
If he wakes earlier than this he is usually inconsolable - being sooooo tired I think and then he won't stay in his bed, our bed, under the covers, over the covers - just a nightmare.
I've decided just to run with it and try and make it the easiest for me. So I take a spare bottle of milk with me when I go to bed - then I don't have to go to the kitchen etc.
Also does your lo need/want a night light? I've started leaving a light on and his door ajar when I go to bed - seems to keep him calm.