YES she's in our bed, NO she isn't sleeping thru

[SquidgersMummy]

I just need a rant. We are muddling thru - co sleeping, night feeds, teething and numerous night time scratching due to eczema on face. At some point we end up with dd in middle in her grow bag, so we can hold a hand each, me freezing my arse off in crappy sleeping bag and DH snug under the quilt. Scratch mits/socks/whatever just don't work on 28 wk dd so if we don't muddle through in close proximity she would have no forehead or neck left by morning. What is it with everyone at baby groups: they seem freaking obsessed with getting baby to sleep thru in own room. I think they all lie...at least I am maintaining that thought in my head anyway.

Rant over. Thank you. X

Are you me? If not were in exact same boat with 30wo dd! If you need a comrad in arms let me know! Rant away!

Most of them are lying. If it helps I still had ds1 and ds2 in my bed when they were 5 and 3. (years not months). I know it made some people do this all at once. I found being quite open about it with a 'this is how i do it and don't give a shit what you think' attitude helped reduce comments about it even though i knew some people where itching to say something

So rant away , then ignore them and carry on doing it how you want anyway. Because next it'll be weaning, dummies, etc etc

Luckily everyone I meet at baby groups seems to have the exact same crappy sleep problems as me so we just all have a good old moan!!

Thanks all...from an evolutionary perspective it would be daft to let your mother put you down to sleep and be able to leave you for 12 hours...so we will just sleep like a little pack of wolves all snuggled together. X

My 9 month old ds starts in the cot but comes into bed with us at about 1-2am every night and sleeps very well in the middle of the bed. People do tut tut and mention rods for backs and that they couldn't think of anything worse etc, but DH and I love the snuggles and chirpy babbling in the morning.

Personally I think the Western way if doing things is the problem, completely at odds with what nature intended. This article sums it up perfectly.

evolutionaryparenting.com/sleep-a-misguided-and-unhealthy-obsession/

Google scratchsleeves. They are really, really fab.

Know how you feel squidger :)

DD always starts in own room but often comes in with us for v similar reasons including the scratching!! I've started swaddling so she can't scratch but she always wakes up when she's broken out and started again - arggghhh!

Only has 1-2 feeds a night but frequent wakings due to scratching or other reasons.

Ooh IHeart - they look fab and not expensive - just ordered a pair now...even if they work I think she's def in with us for a good while yet. Thanks all x

If anyone asks how she is sleeping just smile and say 'like a baby' and let them make their own assumptions. When I'm feeling generous I think people are just making conversation, when I'm struggling after a night without sleep feeling less generous I assume all questions regarding sleep are a test to determine if I'm a fit parent. And I have three children that are reasonably 'good sleepers' and avoid all babygroups with DC3 because I can do without all the passive agressive competitiveness.

She'll get there in her own time but get the duvet from your DH and let him have the crappy sleepingbag!

Scratch sleeves are fantastic. Our Ds had eczema also, once we put these on, it helped a lot. They cannot be pulled off

Squidgers mum and leboob, are you me?!
My 30wk old ds is the same, constant wakings to feed and to scratch eczema.
You are not alone!

I feel we should start a quiche

I go for dontsweat's method of dealing with other people's obsession with dd's sleep (I have never understood why they either care so much or think it's any of their business) and am brutally honest. 'Yes her sleep is a awful, yes we co-sleep...and..?'

I've found since I've taken up this policy of openess I have had far less people feel the need to give me advice about it. I think they are so put out by me daring to actually admit to dd not sleeping well, rather then perpetuating this myth that all babies should sleep through, that they aren't sure what to say :o

On the practicalities of covers side I would lose the duvet and sleeping bag and get blankets. These days if dd is feeling ok then she sleeps to the side of the bed (against a wall), but if she is ill then she sleeps inbetween us under the blankets. If she's getting hot it is then really easy to just shove a layer off her but still keep some myself.