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Original poster

controlled crying and dummy use

8 replies

ilovepicnmix · 08/02/2013 22:16

I am about to embark on controlled crying after 7 months of sleep deprivation. However, my boyfriend and I disagree on how to deal with the dummy. Our boy usually falls asleep easily but it's night wakenings that are the problem. When initially falling asleep he rarely needs his dummy but we frequently have to use it in the night to get him back off to sleep, not always successfully. My boyfriend thinks we should be giving him the dummy when we go to him during controlled crying. I think we shouldn't and that this will just mean that he can only get himself back off with a dummy. Right now he is not able to get it in his mouth properly himself so we'd have to help him with this therefore not massively improving the situation. Anyone any experience of this or advice? Thanks

OP posts:
glowfrog · 09/02/2013 13:03

I don't know if my advice is worth much as we have not used a dummy with our DD but it's interesting you say the dummy is not always successful. To me that suggests you are right - if it doesn't even always work, why persist with it when trying to teach Baby a new way to fall asleep?

What do you do when the dummy doesn't work?

VisualiseAHorse · 09/02/2013 13:26

I did with my LO - I found that having the dummy attached to something like a 'pacipal' (I just sewed one onto LO's bedtime bunny) really helped him find it in the night.

Every 'check' with our controlled crying was, go in, pick up and cuddle, give back dummy, sing very short lullaby and back into bed. We dropped the cuddling bit after the third night, and now 8 times out of 10 he will settle with just the dummy.

Imfeckinpetigo · 10/02/2013 09:19

I really need some help with my 15week dd2. She has a dummy which gets used when she is fussy/tired and at nap/bed times, however the past couple of weeks she has started waking when the dummy falls out her mouth. Obviously she is too small to put it back in herself, which has meant her day time naps aren't longer than 45mins and night times are terrible. I spend, what feels like, a huge part of the night putting it back in her mouth. I've tried leaving her but she just cries, normally I end up taking her into my bed where it is easier for me to get the dummy back in.

I am exhausted now so really wondered if anyone had any advice, I am seriously considering just getting rid of the dummy but I'm not sure how to settle her without it. She is really good at going down, just a quick rock with her dummy then in her cot so I thought maybe about just rocking her and picking her up when she fusses in the night and rocking her back to sleep again. But I really don't know if it would work, or whether I would be starting another sleep association.

I have two primary school age children, so although dp thinks I can go back to bed when dd2 naps I really can't as I am so busy during the day and the elder two are home by 3.

Any, any advice would be so welcome. I know eventually she will manage to put the dummy in herself but I don't know if I will cope until then!

Imfeckinpetigo · 10/02/2013 09:20

Oh sorry meant to start this as a post of my own, sorry I don't post here very often (as you can see).

Original poster
ilovepicnmix · 10/02/2013 13:59

Hi imfeckinpetigo. As you know im still struggling at 7 months so im not the best person to advise! It's shit isn't it. I've become obsessed with sleep and am boring everyone rigid. I think if I was you I'd ditch the dummy. I think my problems may be resolved when my son can get the dummy in himself but he can't at 7 months. You've still got a way to go so at 15 weeks.

OP posts:
Original poster
ilovepicnmix · 10/02/2013 14:04

Glowfrog - im with you. Visualiseahorse - I've sewn a dummy on to but I think he's still a while away from managing to get it in. thanks for your replies. I think my son must have known what was going to hit him tonight (we were going to start cc) as he's only woken up once a night for the last two nights, so he's saved himself! For the moment anyway.

OP posts:
VisualiseAHorse · 11/02/2013 23:10

You can 'practice' baby getting their own dummy in during the day - OP you said your baby is 7 months, he should be able to do this while awake.

forcedinsomnia · 12/02/2013 09:11

My ds doesn't use a dummy but I have a friend who has 2 dummy users and she said that what helped her/her dc's to find their own dummy was not to put the dummy back in the babies mouth but put it in their hand and then get them to put it in mouth (with or without your help!) Also another mum I know used to give her ds 3 dummies....1 in his mouth and 1 for each hand. Then several more (glow in the dark) around the cot. It worked for her.

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