3 year old stopped sleeping through. Everyone at end of tether :(

[NeedlesCuties]

5 months ago I had DC2. DC1 was 2 and a half years old. Up to that point DC1 had been a fine sleeper, usually going 7pm-6:30am although he dropped the daytime name at age 2.

Since DC2 came along it's been a mess. DC2 sleeps ok, nothing different from the usual new baby wakenings and night feeds.

She's fully breastfed, has a co-sleeping cot beside our bed and I usually feed her during night when she stirs and before any crying starts.

DC1 got into a habit - not sure if it was envy - of wanting his daddy to sleep in his room and for a bit of peace my DH did that. But now it's every night and DH has ended up getting the blow-up mattress and sleeps on DS's floor. If DH sneaks out when DS wakens he will cry and be upset.

At the start we thought he'd settle down and it was just him getting used to having a sibling, but it's been 23 weeks now and he's getting worse :-(

He's now wanting one of us to lie on his floor or sit on his bed while he's falling asleep and what used to be a quick night night and self-settling at 7pm is now screaming crying and pushing boundaries till 8:30pm!!

Then he's awake again usually from 1am and can be up 3 times on average unless DH camps out on his floor.

We've got to the end of our tether, can't relax in the evenings, can't go out in the evenings as the mere hint of a babysitter at night sends him crazy (though he's ok with gran or aunt during day).

I'm a SAHM and just finding this bit so tough. He has an active life - playgroup in AM, trips out most afternoons with me, so he defo is tired.

Any advice, encouragement or wisdom would be great! Sorry it's been an epic rant!

I'd say it's sibling envy... I may be wrong though!

Can you implement a bedtime routine for the baby that leaves time for ds before he goes to bed? "Big boy time".

Have you tried reward charts etc? Staying in bed earns a sticker, so many stickers a treat etc ?

I'd remove the blow up bed from his room... I think although it will be tough at first you are reinforcing his behaviour. Keep putting him back to bed if he gets up. No talking. Absolute silence. Keep doing it. If you have to, sit by his bed but with your back to him in silence and gradually move further away until you are at the door....

All the steps we'll need to take to get him to sleep - such as constantly putting him back to bed remind me of when he was much younger, in a cot, about a year old. Seems like one big regression.

The baby will not go to sleep before 10pm when I go to bed (that is a whole other thread!) but honestly that doesn't bother me and I think she'll fall into a routine herself.

We try to have a good routine for him going to bed at 7pm - after dinner the TV is turned off, we do a few jigsaws, read some books and wind down. But still all the stress of getting him to bed. He used to be so easy and I think that's what annoys me.

A friend suggested reward charts, might try that this weekend.

I would still try the putting him back to bed... it may seem like a regression .. but in some ways that's what this is. I did the same thing with dd after seeing it on supernanny (!) And it got her sleeping through again.

Try the reward charts first though and see how you go :)

Sibling envy, regression and scared of the dark. Ds is a similar age and has a real thing about being alone in the dark!

We sit with him until he sleeps but tell him (not at bedtime) that once he's asleep we go and make dinner. We also talk about the dark etc - he would wake thinking there's a dragon. We've started giving him a night light too.

I think the sibling thing will be an issue - the rivalry never goes away! OT just changes. So give extra cuddles, talk to him, can you do his bedtime routine? Tell him you will go for five mins after lights put but be back and make sure you return. Try this for longer intervals so he gets used to sleeping alone again.

We have 6 week old & 3 yr old. 3yr old was coming into our room, not resettling easily & not wanting to go back into her own room, especially if I was feeding baby. She always wanted to help wind, change etc etc.

We talked to her about it, told her every night she stayed in her own room all night she'd get sticker. 10 stickers = treat. We went to shops together & she chose her own stickers. She chose her own treat, a new princess dress up ( picked the exact one from the catalogue!).

She responded really quickly, especially liked being so involved, & is so proud of herself every morning. Most mornings she doesn't get out of bed but calls s instead & first words are usually "morning? I stayed in my bed all night".

Simple but it worked...hope it does for you!