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How does your 18mo go to sleep?

8 replies

MrsPennyapple · 14/01/2013 21:54

After sitting in DD's room for an hour tonight, I've reached the stage where I need to find another way to get her to sleep. I tried to sneak out at about 8.50 but no luck. It was about 9.15 before I could leave.

Bedtime routine starts with a bottle downstairs at 7.30. Then it's upstairs for a bath (about 10 min), get dried and ready for bed, story on my lap, quiet cuddle with only the light from the stairs, then into her cot. She lays quietly whilst I sit in the chair in her room. (Usually on MN on my phone.) She occasionally sits up or tries to talk to me, but all I say is "Ssh, lie down (if necessary), go to sleep now" but normally I don't have to say anything.

I have thought about gradual retreat, but the room is so small that there is nowhere to move the chair, it would be in the way of the door. I did try it for a few weeks but basically was just stood on the landing until 9pm, rather than being sat in her room, so not a lot of difference.

Just for info, I'd like to get her in bed earlier, but she wakes up between 6 and 7 each day anyway, so an earlier bedtime would mean an earlier start. Apparently I didn't need much sleep as a child, and I do remember laying awake for hours and hours, night after night, though obviously not at that age. DP takes turns sometimes doing the bedtime routine, but he gets up with her most mornings, and we sort of have an agreement that you do either bedtime or morning. (I prefer him to do mornings if at all possible!)

I am now pg again so need to get her to understand that she doesn't need one of us to sit there whilst she goes to sleep. I'm just wondering how other 18 month olds settle to sleep? Do you sit with them? Cuddle them to sleep? Or have you perfected the art of saying "night night" and leaving them to it? If the latter, how did you do it please?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Tertius · 14/01/2013 22:36

Well mine is falling asleep on my lap on hr milk - after a lot of illnesses and then Christmas travels. I am planning to change this and dreading it. She won't just lie down and go to sleep at all so I can't think of anything other than doing awful controlled crying.

Could you leave her listening to music or stories?

I might leave music playing so she doesn't feel so alone maybe.

MrsPennyapple · 15/01/2013 21:09

Hi Tertius, that's a god suggeston about music / stories. I might see about getting a CD player for her room.

I am not ruling out the possibility of controlled crying, although it wouldn't be my first choice. I'd really like to hear how others have tackled this, if anyone can share their experience?

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CitizenOscar · 15/01/2013 21:17

We usually stay til he is quiet & non-wriggly, then leave. Can be 2 minutes, usually 5-10, occasionally much longer if he isn't really tired.

What helps? Complete darkness - all lights around his room out and blackout blinds in spring/summer. Sticking to the routine. Real calmness during storytime. If wriggly, I find placing a hand gently on him has a calming effect and helps discourage him from sitting/standing up. If I can take my hand away without him immediately scrambling to his knees then I know we're nearly done.

Hope that helps.

Honesttodog · 27/02/2013 10:29

have you had any luck with changing this?

babraham · 27/02/2013 10:41

My ds is a similar age. His routine used to be bath, pj's on, milk and cuddles then bed. He'd never go straight down and I'd spend well over an hour each night trying to settle him and sneak out while avoiding the creaky floor boards/ squeaky toys!

Just recently I've changed the routine to bath, cuddles and into sleeping bag, then bottle in bed with a light/ music lullaby thingy on. I just give him the bottle, a kiss goodnight, switch on the mobile and walk away.

It's changed my life! He's too engrossed in his milk to be worried about where I am, he's asleep by the end of the bottle and I have my evenings back. I know I should be brushing his teeth after his milk but I'm afraid that would result in a very wide awake little boy!

Good luck!

MissTriangle · 11/03/2013 04:41

My DD is nearly 18 months, she already is in a toddle bed as she hated the cot and never slept in it. She has a bath at 6.30pm then bottle in bed with one of us. We then lie next to her as she falls asleep, this can take well over an hour or sometimes only 20 mins.
I would do anything to get her to fall asleep on her own but she won't. I can't bear listening to her screaming though so have never tried CC or similar.
I also have a 3 month old- I promised myself that I would do things different this time, but I am still feeding/rocking to sleep... Oh dear, rod and back spring to mind!

MrsPennyapple · 21/03/2013 23:01

Hi MissTriangle I've just seen your post. After deliberating for months (even before I started this thread) we did CC about three weeks ago. The longest it took was 30 min, total, that was the first night. Second night she hadn't napped in the day, so didn't cry AT ALL. Third night was 20 min, and fourth night was one minute (again no nap on that day).

I didn't want to go down the CC route, but I was getting really frustrated with spending so much time sat in her room. I'd try and sneak out when she was quiet, but she'd cry and we'd be back to square one, which made me even more frustrated. Doing the CC wasn't half as awful as I expected, and turned out to be the right thing for us.

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Mampig · 21/03/2013 23:45

Cc works with some children and not others. If your child is high needs ime it doesn't work. But there is only one way to find out for sure. It's hard though, and takes dedication! When I tried it, I used an app on my phone, which seemed to work- for a while!! Now we co-sleep, as I worked out that my baby was high needs, and the distress wasn't worth it. Personally, now, I'm not in favour if cc, but I fully understand the need for sleep, and the willingness to try anything!!! There's a book 'the no cry sleep solution', which may have suggestions for you x

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