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Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

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Original poster

Persuade me that I really ought to do something about DS2's sleep and tonight is the night....

75 replies

popsycalindisguise · 19/04/2006 19:24

I really need to but really don't know if I have it in me...again

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Tipex · 20/04/2006 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bobblehead · 20/04/2006 21:12

Dd does accept water too, you could try that, I just felt mean not even offering milk...

I also found it helped if I kicked dh out the room to sleep elsewhere as she seemed more hyper when he was there too, almost as if "well if she won't do what I want I'll see if dad will listen...". Lullaby tape also helped me as 1. it is relaxing 2. I tell myself I will do X until song 5, then take her to my bed, etc. I found having a timescale to work to helped as something really odd happens to the minutes and hours when you're rocking a screaming child in the night!

Redwood · 20/04/2006 21:31

My dd seems quite good compared with some of your little lovelies in this thread! However really wnat to start to sort him out . Advice on whether a week is enough as going on hols in 10 days time. He wakes for water once and milk at 4ish every night? Any adivce anyone? He is 11 months and has only slept through 2 nights since birth!! Doe anyone still give 10.30 feed at this age?

Redwood · 20/04/2006 21:31

Whoops he's a ds!!

mazzystar · 20/04/2006 21:36

Do it do it.

Ds was in our bed by midnight at latest, which was fine when he slept through but he had been waking up to 4 times a night. So we just went for it. Went to see him when he woke up and told him it was time to sleep. One night major screaming. One night minor grumbling.

He has slept through from 8.30 ish till 7 ever since.

It is wonderful to have our bed back.

Tinker · 21/04/2006 08:47

Good luck popsy

Please spare a thought for those whose babies still sleeps in same room (no other room to mover her to) and won't take ebm or water from a bottle at all [self-pitying emoticon] sob sob.

Original poster

popsycalindisguise · 21/04/2006 15:44

Tinker - ds2 is still in our room,,,major stuff needed to sort out a room for him but it is on the urgent list.

He took a tiny sip of water last night at one point. Wont take ANYTHING from a bottle at night though depsite happily having ebm in the day

Well
last night went as follows.
woke at 9pm. got him out of cot, shushed him, he screamed. jigged him. he screamed more. offered him water. he threw the cup at me. after 40 minutes of screaming he fell asleep in my arms then i put him in his cot.

leifted him at 10 to feed him. made sure he had a mammoth feed....he usually wakes of his own accord

woke again at 1:30. got him out, jigged etc. he screamed. he tries to thrust himself backwards and nearly throes himself out of my arms which is tricky. he fell asleep and put him in cot then he woke again about an hour later.
after 40 minutes of screaming in my arms and ds1 screaming as he had been woken up, I relented and fed him in bed and fell asleep
after that it was open buffet i a afraid

feel liek a right failure

OP posts:

Tinker · 21/04/2006 18:01

Don't feel a failure, it's bloody hard, especially if you're worried about waking others.

Original poster

popsycalindisguise · 21/04/2006 18:53

tbh I am sick of thinking about it. even dh is being incredibly annoying and unsupportive about the whole thing now which is just what I don't need. Feel under a lot of pressure to get it sorted in all sorts of ways
:(

OP posts:

Tipex · 21/04/2006 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

popsycalindisguise · 21/04/2006 21:26

The pressure is coming from everywhere. Firstly from myself. he is almost 14 months and should be sleeping better and I feel as though it is my fault for a variety of reasons. I want to have my bed back and to get more than 2-3 hours of consecutive sleep. I want to not dread going to bed every night and wish for the morning. I want to be able to snuggle up to DH. I want to be able to snuggle up with ds1 in the morning when he comes running into our room at 6am but I cant as ds2 is permanently attached. Pressure from DH but no support hmmmm. Pressure from 'them'. isnt he sleeping through yet? are you still breast feeding? are you still feeding in the night?!?!?!?! do you think breast feeding has caused this? do you think it is making him clingy? rod for own back blah blah blah

OP posts:

mazzystar · 21/04/2006 21:34

first of all ignore them, they know nowt.

i think its very difficult indeed to embark on this with your lo in your room. its an awful lot easier to block out the shouting when they are one or two closed doors away. is there just no room/roof/windows?

BonyM · 21/04/2006 21:37

Oh popsy, sorry you're still having major sleep problems with ds2. Haven't managed to keep up with how things have been with you recently.

Tbh, I don't think that, practically, there is a whole lot you can do whilst he is still in your room - can't you make sorting a room for him your top priority, and then really try to crack the sleep issue? Or is it really a huge problem to do this?

BonyM · 21/04/2006 21:38

Great minds, mazzystar .

Original poster

popsycalindisguise · 21/04/2006 21:40

it is a pretty huge effort to do it...however....i have been thinking....I could try to move some boxes out of the spare room (read junkroom/computer room) and swap them for his cot........... not a particularly nice place to sleep but it may spur me on a bit

OP posts:

mazzystar · 21/04/2006 21:42

he's going to be asleep though, so as long as there's heating, it really might be worth it.

Original poster

popsycalindisguise · 21/04/2006 21:45

ask me tomorrow if i have done this:)

OP posts:

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 21/04/2006 21:48

Long time since mine were little popsy but I FWIW I think you need to sort the room first. Get him settled in there with his usual bed-time routine. Then crack him staying in there the whole night and then try to stop the feeding.

What time does he have his tea? I found it helped to give mine a more solid supper just before bed - cereal or something rather than just a milk feed.

Good luck.

bobblehead · 21/04/2006 22:22

Good luck for tonight Popsycal and don't feel bad for feeding him. I totally believe the whole sleeping through thing is a developemental milestone and I'm not convinced anything will "teach" a baby to sleep- they are either ready or they're not. My dd is not but is very slowly improving. The giving up feeds thing has helped as she seems to wake less often but I am still fairly powerless whe she does wake! I still coslept while refusing to feed and just had to let her tantrum and cry it out next to me, while I lay on my stomach and got poked and pulled at. I am fortunate that she's not too much of a milk monster so fairly quickly accepted the idea of a bottle (it was hit and miss for a week or so.)Would it be possible to just tackle one feed at a time and slowly expand that, like try and make it until midnight, then 1, then 2etc? Dh was no help to me and still sometimes crashes into her room saying "why is she still screaming?" so I can sympathise with the lack of support during the night.

He will grow out of it, if you can keep your sanity that long!

BonyM · 22/04/2006 12:10

How did you get on popsy?

Original poster

popsycalindisguise · 22/04/2006 19:45

well...a minor breakthrough but with DH not ds2!!

i fed him around 10 ish then put him back in cot. DH was out at the pub.

At about 1am I realised i was sat on the end of the bed feeding him (ds2 not dh :)) and dh was still not in. no big deal.
anyway - decided to put Harry back in the cot and ended up having a half hour back and forth to the cot. within 2 minutes of putting him down, he woke again.
DH came in at 1:30 and I lost my rag and said I was going to bed and letting him cry and if he wanted to do something about the crying he could, but I was putting the duvet over my head. Seemed perfectly rational and grown up at the time :)
So dh tried to settle him in the cot. no good. then got him out and jigged him and was sooooo calm with him that ds2 settled after about 10 mins of crying. he didnt sleep for abotu 30 mins but was settled in DH's arm, periodically blurting on his belly!!!

at aboout 2ish, ds2 was asleep and dh lay him between us in the bed....
and I think he slept until 6:30. I say think as i have been known to whop them out without realising but sleep bra and 3 layers of t shirts (armour) were still intact,,

needless to say, I have told dh that if he helps again tonight he can have a lie in til 10am and a bj
ahem!

OP posts:

Tipex · 22/04/2006 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BonyM · 22/04/2006 20:02

Good new popsy! Let's hope for more success tonight. Good luck.

at your promises to dh - men are easily bought aren't they?

Original poster

popsycalindisguise · 22/04/2006 20:02

no dh was at work all day and i had the boys....but i tidied my room to make way for stuff....

OP posts:

BonyM · 22/04/2006 20:03

"Good news" (although you probably are feeling like a new popsy after a decent few hours of sleep ).

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