I'm starting to question my own judgement and would really appreciate some advice! My DD has been waking up at least every other night (at random times) for the past few weeks and can't/won't go back to sleep without a bf or at least 2 hours of being awake. To give you all the facts...
She was a rubbish sleeper for her first few months (needed a bf to get to sleep) but settled herself from 4 months. She started to sleep through at 6 months - from 7 til 7. However, she's never been consistent - 5 days in a row is the best she's done. On the other days, I would bf her when she woke in the night, as I've always done.
I spoke to the HV after a month or so of this and she said there's no point sleep training, as it's not habit if she doesn't wake up every night. That made sense to me. Her solution was to keep assuming she was hungry if she did wake in the night and, in the meantime, make sure she ate enough in the day. She now has three substantial meals: porridge and a piece of fruit for breakfast at 8; finger sandwiches and vegetables, followed by a creamy/fruity dessert for lunch at noon; and a homemade pureed/mashed meal (200ml) followed by a creamy/fruity dessert for tea at 5pm. She has a hearty breastfeed first thing and short bfs mid-morning and mid-afternoon, then a 7oz bottle of aptamil at 6.30. She has a healthy appetite and seems to go to bed satisfied.
Despite following the HV's advice, I didn't notice an improvement, so I decided to use the fact that my DH was off work for 2 weeks over Christmas to try out not feeding my LO if she woke up. My concern is that although she can get to sleep and back to sleep on her own (I often hear her babbling randomly in the night), if anything is wrong, and it often seems to be (reflux, teething, a cold) she starts crying and uses my milk to soothe her back to sleep.
She always wants to be picked up when I go in to her and will scream blue murder if I don't. She has cut her first tooth in the last few weeks and, in my efforts to not feed her, I ended up calming her down by distracting/reading to her and taking numerous attempts to put her back in her cot (with her comforter, lullabies/white noise) and trying water (which she doesn't really take) and Calpol and (when she seems really poorly) Ibuprofen too (spaced a couple of hours apart). This process usually takes 2+ hours to be successful. She doesn't necessarily always want a bf, but when she gets really upset, it does tend to soothe her - often back to sleep.
I was up for 2 hours last night for the third time in 4 days and my husband came through at 5am and said "just feed her"! So I did! I know it may sound like I'm being mental/cruel, but I really wanted to get her out of this habit, as I'll be looking to wean her completely in a few months and I don't think she is hungry (especially when she wakes up earlier in the night). She's generally a happy baby and usually (touch wood!) has two good naps in the day.
So, I guess my questions are: Is there anything else I can do to help her resettle without a bf when she's uncomfortable in the night? Should l give in and feed her? Could she be hungry? Will this continue throughout the teething process?
All thoughts and advice would be gratefully received, as I'm driving myself mad grappling with what to do in the middle of the night!
Thank you!