Exhausted

[Kafri]

Well, not sure which of you have seen my precious posts about 2wk old not sleeping?

He ramped it up a gear last night. Wouldn't sleep from 8.30pm til 10am this morning. By 5am he was crying/screaming inconsolably and prior to that he was desperately trying to poo (managed at 3am, normal nappy contents,but still wouldn't settle), appeared very uncomfortable throughout.

Oh my god am I dreading tonight!!!

Previous not precious-bloody phone spellcheck.

I feel ur pain. I have not slept since 3am this morning. My ds is 11 days old and also seems to be having trouble pooing which means he is really struggling to settle particularly in the evenings/night. He is formula fed so I am feeling guilty as constipation is a side effect. I don't know what the answer is regarding making them sleep, I am currently pacing the floor with ds in the moby wrap- he is asleep but I cannot do it indefinitely and I know he will wake up and not settle as soon as I stop!
I hope ur night is better than u r anticipating...

My night is a definite improvement on last night in that he is sleeping. However, he is sleeping on me therefore I am again not sleeping. I'm just having to hold onto the thought that if I put him in his basket I still wouldn't be sleeping as he is soooooo restless and noisy on his back.

I'm gonna hold my hands up and admit that this is much much harder than I had anticipated!!

You are doing brilliantly. Keep going x

Thanks, I'm doing my best!!

My midwife forgot to deliver my sons instruction manual when she delivered him! ;-)

Hmmm trying to think of something that might help. I have an 18 month old that's never been great at sleeping (hence why I'm typing at 3am!!) but... I've tried everything, and these are the things that helped (I apologise if you've tried all these).

1. Raise the head end of the cot/Moses basket
2. When putting baby into cot cuddle them all the way in, lay them on their side and gently roll them onto their back
3. If baby having tummy problems place face down over your arm cradling their head in your hand, and rock gently until a few big farts come out!
4. Swaddle?
5. White noise app on your phone can help
6. Once baby is asleep wait 10 more minutes before transferring them to the cot (pick up their hand and drop it to make sure they are 100% asleep)
7. Rock, sing, feed, feed, shush (loudly) repeat

It will get better, and you will find your own ways of coping, but everyone needs sleep. You sound like you are doing great though - hang on in there, it will get better!

I know this probably isn't what you want to hear (advice coming out of your ears) but my two would never sleep on their backs so I'd swaddle firmly and put them on their sides. Figured I couldn't sleep on my back with a full tummy either!

Swaddle swaddle swaddle! I didn't swaddle dd1 and found getting her to sleep really hard. So now I wrap ds2 like a baby burrito (but with one arm out) and down he goes. It's not perfect but it definitely helps.

The first weeks can be extremely hard so don't panic - it will get easier!

Agree with all advice given above. One other suggestion - warm the cot / Moses basket first. I use a bean bag thingy that you heat in the microwave. I take it out just before putting DD in.

For constipation I gave water. This was addition to formula not in place of.
Also put baby face down laid across ur lap. Rub back in round motions. Or pat. To help release trapped wind.

LO was unsettled In His crib a few nights early on. So we put his Moses basket( which he slept fine in during the day) inside the crib. Few days later he slept better with out Moses basket.

We also tried swaddling. This had good days n bad days. On a bad day he would struggle against it alot so I took him out n he settled. Other days the swaddle suits him fine n he doesn't wake.

Oh and on our post natal thread Ewan the dream sheep is sung about by many, a sheep toy that plays womb sounds . Worth a look.

My LO is only 12 weeks. N I promise it gets better.

Ps. With FF. dont feel bad. Bf babies also get these problems.

Check with HV about giving water. N also at 4 weeks I tried grip water which really helped.

Kafri - it WILL get getter. Hang in there, and remember this phase will pass soon. I was a zombie for first 3 weeks. Dd now 4 weeks and whilst I could do with a weeks extra sleep, I feel soooo much better. Sleep in the daytime, whenever you can and have a stash of chocolate on hand.

Well, up to 5 o'clock was brilliant. He 'slept like a baby'. 5am onwards?? He screamed blue murder right thru to 10.30+

Guessing this is gonna be his regular colic time as it was the same yesterday??? This is gonna seem like a lifetime isn't it??

Thanks for all your advice.x

Hey kafri am feeling your pain - cant offer any tips as my DS is 4 weeks old and I am going through v similar things. He is also FF and seems to have trouble farting/pooing - it makes him cry and really restless all night. He is ESP bad after his night feed - so from 3 am ish onwards.

I feel beside myself with tiredness and am hating being on my own all day whilst DH is at work.

Also DS sleeps much better during te day but I seem unable to nap during the day, even though the only advice anyone seems to have is "make sure u sleep when he sleeps"...that's all very well in theory but what if I just end up lying there getting all stressed cos i can't sleep??

I agree - had no idea how hard I would find this :(

Hang on in there, it is a killer but will get better!

I'm sat here with my eyes closing again while he sleeps on me. Every time I try to put him down on his back he stirs and wakes himself up with the noises he makes and the restlessness so I don't sleep if I do pop him down. I'm finding myself apprehensive about him waking in case that's the start of the upset and screaming. My DH and I are working shifts with him at the min but when he goes back to work I get all the work day and night which I'm currently trying to work out his the hell I'm gonna cope.
I'm starting to feel like a complete failure as other mums seem to just be able to cope and manage while I feel like I'm 'getting by'' on a day to day basis.

Oh and how the bloody hell do you mums manage to do everything Rojas that needs doing too - cooking, basic cleaning etc. by the time I've sorted ds, sorted his bottles, made sure I gave formula and nappies etc and if I'm lucky fit in a nap the time has gone and nothing else has got done. Luckily, family have been supplying fresh meals to warm in microwave but I'm gonna have to start managing it all sooner rather than later.

x

Everyone here is telling u it will get better, because it will. We have all been in ur position. Ppl r bringing meals because they know what it's like! U r not a failure.

Forget cleaning etc for a while. U will get into a routine.

I did no house work or cooking for 6 weeks. However I had family doing it all. At 6 weeks I was in a bit of a routine. N worked out best times of day to "do stuff" ie after 11 am feed LO usually can b left in bouncer for 20 while I wash n sterilise. At between 12-2 he starts a long nap. So that is a cooking or cleaning time. When ppl come n visit, I do ironing n they hold baby lol.
When ppl visit give them the baby n spend 5 mins doing something quick, clear dishes, swoosh toilet put away clothes etc.

Again. It will get better

Oh Kafri, it will get better I promise you, and you'll amaze yourself with how resilient and creative you can be!
Every day getting out of the house gets easier, until it becomes second nature. Don't worry about housework at all... enjoy your baby. I seem to remember that at about 2-3 months old I started doing lots of cleaning as it amused her to watch me, and gave me something to do. So you will eventually get your house back :-)
Getting up, washed and dressed takes practice and a little but of forward planning, but you soon get into your own routine.

But honestly, give yourself a break. You sound like you are doing a great job, you are only 2 weeks in to a very long journey.

Ps. I can guarantee that all those mums that look like they have it together are probably looking at you thinking the same thing.

With the formula I gave Infacol first.

DS also had a White Company sleeping bag. You could leave the bottom unzipped as he suffers from the hot foot.

Good luck OP. No one ever tells you their new born baby is a crap sleeper, so you always think its your baby and you that are the only ones.

My darling you said it "I'm sat here with my eyes closing again while he sleeps on me. Every time I try to put him down on his back he stirs and wakes himself up with the noises he makes and the restlessness so I don't sleep if I do pop him down."

It took me three weeks to discover that if I slept semi upright with DS in my arms he slept too and we just woke, fed, slept and dozed. That lasted until he was about seven weeks. I didn't even bother to lay dd in a crib until she was six weeks old. It's sanity and sleep where you can get it that matters at this stage. The baby has been inside you, not lying down for 9 months - he/she isn't going to sleep on his/her back to order when you want it. Go with the flow - go with the baby and just get through the next few weeks.

PS: mine are 18 and 14. They survived. Good luck. It's really hard at this stage and when baby starts school all the other mums you know will be telling the truth.

Kafir.....you are doing it and you will manage, I felt exactly the same as you and the thought of somehow managing a baby, the house and myself, well it was like someone had asked me to swim to the moon.
DS slept to white noise for first 18 months, we downloaded a few and brought a cheap MP3 player, saved my bloody life as he could hear a pin drop, at least with that it hides noise and makes them feel very safe plus we weaned him off over a couple of weeks
We had a little dance t ge his wind up little side stretches as he sat opposite me and then a little circle, got very stubborn burps up which helped settle him, the tip about the wedging up one end of the cot also good, if you notice all hospital baby incubators always at a slight incline.
Hang in there and take things a moment at a time, my eyes fill up when I think of how special it was just to hold him, just wish I'd cut myself the slack to savour every second xx

Err - sorry - it IS awful, but it is also normal (from my limited experience)... If it helps (and it probably won't) just think that by holding him/her, feeding, cuddling etc then your little baby is getting a little bit older, a little bit braver, a little bit bigger and feeling a little bit more of your love minute by minute...

xxx

By my third, I learnt to not ask for any advice, just to focus on the truth that one day, your baby WILL be a great sleeper... And chocolate helped too.

I really appreciate all the replies guys, they're very helpful.

I'm back on the graveyard shift.

Silly question but since ds started with this colic he appears to be struggling to poo. Well, thinking about it the struggling to poo started slightly before the colic. He's still going daily (some days a couple quite close together) and his nappy contents appear normal but it seems to be such hard work for him and he gets rather worked up.
Is this related to the colic and is there any way of easing this? Of it is related, and I can ease it, will that in turn help ease the colic or is that wishful thinking??
I've been told by an experienced mum and a midwife to try cooled boiled water with a little brown sugar. Any thoughts???

I must sound like I haven't a clue what the hell I'm doing. I just want to make sure in doing stuff right.

I don't know anything about colic per se, and never heard the brown sugar thing, but when a baby has an uncomfortable tummy it can help to do a bit of baby massage. Try the following:

Clockwise circles on his abdomen, just stroking with a few fingertips, not pressing though.

Small circles on the lower right of his tummy (the right as he lies on his back facing you, that is).

Gently pedalling his legs.

Bending both his knees up to his tummy and straightening again.

Bending both his knees and circling them gently in a clockwise direction.

You can try to do this several times a day in the hope o producing the magic fart or poo. It may or may not help but it gives you something to try!

Please don't feel that you should know what to do - no one knows what to do, we all just muddle along! It's strange and disorientating for many people to suddenly find thswlves in a world where there is no "right" way to do stuff, but you will gradually get used to it and might even find it liberating rather than terrifying! :-)

My 7 month old dusnt sleep through the nyt atal lil naps here n there really frustrating any advice would b great thanks xx