Co-sleeping comfortably

[MarriedToSonOfAPreacherMan]

I've been taking 4mo DD into our bed for at least part of the night as it takes up to two hours to settle her in her cot after a feed. That way we both sleep, but I wake up really stiff and uncomfortable. I put her on the outside of the bed because DH is a heavy sleeper and we're both frightened of him rolling on her, so i have to hold her in both arms and the one she lies on goes numb. Also I wake up with pain in my back and pelvic area; I have never found sleeping on my side comfortable but this is ridiculous. Any suggestions? We don't have the space for a cot beside our bed, or for a bed in DD's room.

Can you try lying her flat on the bed with your arm curled round above her head, rather than with her lying on your arm? You could then draw your knees up so you are sort of cocooning her from above and below. If you're worried about her rolling sideways away from you off the bed you could use a guard like the BabyDan one here.

I also found it sore being stuck on my side all night so for a while I put my Theraline pregnancy pillow down the bed between me and DH so I could roll on to it a bit and get some support for my back while still being curled round DS and not lying flat. DS was of course on the other side of me, between me and the bed guard.

HTH

Do you have a guard on the bed like this?

Can you lie on your back with her head on your shoulder? I can't remember how big 4 months is, but we certainly have done this at some point.

You could get a guard rail for the outside of the bed and scoot away a bit once she's asleep, that would free your arms up a bit. I have a small pillow or rolled up towel for my lower back to support it a bit and that helps too. It's not great, but comfortable enough. Good luck!!

yes we co-sleep with dd and she sleeps with her head in reach of my boob under my armpit.
my arm kind of curls around her head or i put my arm straight up the side of the pillow. i swap her onto the other sure each time i wake.

Thanks everyone. A guard rail is a good idea. Unfortunately my pregnancy pillow was a loan and I've had to return it, but I might try a towel or something. I don't think DH will like having something down the middle of the bed but tough.

The really annoying thing is that I can't feed her lying down so don't get that benefit!

practise.
you'll get the hang of it!

there are some videos on YouTube

I've watched some of them. But they all show women whose nipples point straight out when they lie down, and mine points down towards the mattress! Even if I pull the breast out, sort of, it's too close to the mattress for DD to latch on.

ah, see, you need to lie down first then latch her on.

i used to have to put my spare hand under my boob to hold it up while she latched on
eventually you both get used to it and it becomes easier.

in fact, thinking about it- i do guide my boob to her mouth even now.
once she's latched on she's fine.

I have to do a bit of guiding too and do the spare hand thing. Also DS has become quite good at positioning too! Persevere tho I think, being able to doze and feed has I'm sure saved my life at times, or that's how it feels anyway!!

I was lying down and then latching her on - mostly it didn't work and even if it did she kept coming off, more than she does if I'm sitting up. Puzzled now - the videos seemed to show the "spare hand" sticking out sideways by the babies head, so not immediately accessible for guiding (or removing a biting baby!). I found that when she came off or I needed to adjust her, I had to prop myself up on the spare elbow - even less comfortable than being on my side, and there didn't seem much point if I had to be up and down all the time.

that doesn't sound good :(

my spare arm hooks around her head.
the other one hooks over her and pulls her to me
the cuddling arm is the boob arm