3wo FF DS is nocturnal....how can I encourage him to know night from day??

[DangerMousey]

My DS (3 weeks and 2 days old) is exclusively formula fed. He is a big baby (currently weighs almost 10lb) and drains 6oz formula every 3-4 hours during the day.

He naps quite well during the day, having a good hour/90 mins after each feed, and is having more and more awake/alert time every day.

But he really hasn't got the hang of nights! he is really difficult to settle after his feeds in the night. He grizzles and seems to find it painful to poo, crying and being unsettled, and only stopping once he has filled his nappy. But he is not constipated as his poos are runny and yellow. He also seems to have a period of lively awake time after his middle-of-the-night feed (we're not in a routine, are just feeding on demand so this can be any time from 0130 - 0330 depending on when he's hungry), despite us feeding him in a dimly lit room at night, with no noise, and minimal interaction etc.

Is there anything I can do to encourage him to sleep as well at night (or better!) than he does during the day? Or am I expecting too much of a 3 week old?? (albeit one who holds his own head up and is a big boy?).

I am dreading DH going back to work on Wednesday, cos we are currently sharing the night shifts which makes it more bearable...last night DS was awake and unsettled off-and-on from 0130 - 0500 (with a good 6oz night feed at 0200)....not sure how on earth I am going to cope with this on my own??

Please tell me this is normal, or that it gets easier! Is there anything I need to do to make it get easier, or is it just a case of riding it out??

Thanks.

Why don't you sleep while he does for one of his naps?

Also take him outside for a walk around 1-2 pm. Apparently this helps being exposed to natural day light. Dd was out more than ds (she was our second) and got the days/nights a lot faster.

Also I'm wondering if he's a touch of reflux. Just the straining etc. he might not be strsining for a poo at all, just coincidently. Have you tried comfort milk?

As for nights themselves, just make it comfy for you. Have a flask of hot chocolate and a snack to power through then remind yourself you can nap in the day!

Nothing tougher than those first few weeks - you have my sympathy! Make sure that daytime is bright, loud and exciting, and nighttime is dark, quiet and boring. It does get easier...

And you will cope on your own. You'll have moments when you'll want to throw the baby out the window (or maybe that's just me?!) but you will get through it. Three weeks and six weeks seemed to be big milestones for both of mine when it started to get easier.

What's his total daytime sleep? Some babies sleep the clock round, but not all. You may need to start limiting his naps in the day to encourage him to be tired enough to sleep all night.

I wouldn't limit the sleep of a 3 week old baby. They get overtired so easily then you have trouble. Baby will get it right very soon.

I only have the experience of one baby but I always made sure the day time naps were in a bright noisy room, and the night time sleeps were in a dark quiet room, with a fan on for white-noise, which helped mask any sudden loud noises that may have startled him. I know I was very lucky cos my ds only woke to feed then fell asleep again immediately, but I did need to hold him and feed him to sleep.

It sounds like you are doing all the right things. Hopefully it will all fall into place soon. My friends ds didn't like to sleep at night, it took a few weeks of perseverance before he adjusted to sleeping at night.

Actually if he's napping for an hour after every feed which are 3-4 hours apart, that's probably not too much sleep for a 3 week old. I disagree not limiting sleep if he's awake a lot at night and asleep a lot in the day as there is such a thing as having days and nights mixed up, but it doesn't sound like that here.

My DS, now 6 months, went through a very fidgety, windy phase from 3-12 weeks. The early hours were the worst. We just stuck to the bedtime routine, regular naps in the day but keeping an eye on total daytime sleep and regular feeding. We also saw an osteo which helped with the windiness and eventually it all settles down.

Thanks guys - it's very good to hear that this all sounds on a scale of "normal". Everyone always tells you that having a newborn baby is hard work but I don't think you can really appreciate what that means until he/she is here, eh?!

He had a better night last night: slept from 2230 - 0115 in our room with only a few small grizzles (when all the fireworks went off at midnight!), then had a night feed at 0140. Went back down to sleep relatively easily from 0230 - 0500, had another feed at 0530 which my DH gave him, and then slept from 0700 - 0900. My lovely DH took his Moses basket into the living room and slept on the sofa with him cos he was a bit grizzly and disturbed after his 0530 feed, so I got lots of sleep (relatively speaking).

Still a bit nervous about what will happen when Dh is less able/willing to help at night. I also have a stinking sore throat and horrible chesty cough / not helping!

Limiting sleep was a disaster for us. 3 weeks is tiny - you should not have any expectations.

If you're feeling ill why can't your other half help? Mine did - its easier being tired at work (unless it's a manual/driving job?)

DM babies are all over the place for quite a while, please don't expect him to get it straight away, especially as they need food throughout the night. Just keep doing what you are doing and what the others have mentioned above. He'll get there. In the meantime make the most of when he is asleep. Even when your dh is back at work perhaps he can prepare all the formula, do the washing up/laundry etc (or look after ds while you do it) so that when it is just the two of you you can nap when he does. Also get out and about during the day. Good for ds and great for you - find other new mums to moan about the lack of sleep with!