Can I kill dp?

[Nancy54]

Just a rant really.
Every night I sit in bed feeding my twins numerous times and dp snores away next to me, taking up the whole bed.
Then in the morning he ll often say to me "you had a good night, didn't you? I didn't hear them." And I say no it was horrendous, you just slept though it!
Why do men become deaf at night???

Because he knows he doesn't need to get up.

Do you want him to help eg change one whilst you feed the other? If so, wake him! But he needs to stop saying that -DH learned pretty fast to ask if I'd had a good night, not tell me I had!

Smothering might be your best option?

You can of course kill your DP. It's probably legal somewhere :)

Leave them in a cot in the bedroom with him and sleep in spare room. Ask him to bring them to you for feeds. Use baby monitor to ask him to come back and get them again. He'll soon see

Ohhh I like the smothering idea,......had imagined stabbing but smothering less messy! Lol
I also like Ophelia's idea, he'd die of shock!

Ophelia's idea sounds good - maybe do this on Saturday?

I used to send my dh to the spare room during the week and I dealt with feeding DTs and at the weekend we swapped, it was just easier for us like that, saved me from getting angry at him for not doing anything. Even though most weekend nights he would come and get me anyway as 'he couldn't cope with them both!' ARGH.

Don't stab him, you don't want to get blood on the twins. Smothering definitely best as guaranteed to stop snoring.

Same problem here and I don't even have twins thank God. If I report that DS has woken any less than his customary 47 times a night, DH gives a chirpy, 'Ooh, that's good! Focus on the positives!' DH will also wake me if I'm trying to escape for catch up sleep at the weekend if he needs to go to the loo while looking after DS. I'm sure he thinks I hand the child to the nanny during weekdays...

Ophelia has the right idea. He should do that on nights when he doesn't have to work in the morning. On the other nights, I used to ask my DH to sleep in the spare room - his sleeping annoyed me less if I couldn't see it

Keep going. It does get better, I promise :)

Elphaba he does WHAT?

OK, I'm being a little unjust. He did it on a few outrageous occasions and when my, 'Are you SERIOUS?!' reaction failed to kickstart his logic, I had to give him a lesson in, 'How to put the baby on the floor next to you' followed by, 'How not to sit there on your iPhone for three hours.'

ha ha elphaba mine is exactly the same, telling me to be positive if i have managed more than three hours sleep.

i don't think it would have been so bad if i hadn't had twins cos i wouldn't "need" him so much. he does not get the fact that i sometimes have to wake him during the night to wind a dt while i feed the other. seriously, i though he was quite an intelligent bloke before we had kids....

i do quite like the idea of putting him in the spare room though, would def annoy me less if i didn't have to look at him.....

I've heard cosleeping is dangerous for husbands, they can get smothered if they keep too deeply :d

Try again 'sleep' too deeply :D

If you spare room it he will have to keep an ear out and the deep sleep will go. Amazing how suddenly they get a taste of what it's actually like to have a baby. It'll do him good.

Now my baby is a bit older and doesn't need fed everytime she wakes (when I did she took the piss a bit and loved to be up every hour) DH is allocated patting duty on non feeding wakes. Sometimes he is grumpy when I wake him up to do his patting but feels so much better to feel like we are in it together and there is much less chance of me murdering the lazy bastard

DH used ro tell me how tired he was in the morning after I had fed our twins all night - and he had woken maybe once. He soon stopped.

Now he gets the joy of co-sleeping with snoring DT2 whilst I go to spare room (I go in to feed every now and again so its not all one-way!).

We have a deal that as I bf dp does all the night nappies. If he is asleep he gets poked till he wakes up and handed a stinky baby. If its been a particularly bad night then at the weekend he gets up with dd at 6 and I stay in bed as long as I like. Yesterday I slept till 11.

It wasn't always like this. What made the difference was firstly one night I wrote down all the times she woke and then when she went back to sleep (like in the no cry book). I think actually seeing written down just how little sleep I had made him realise that I wasn't just being melodramatic about it. Secondly I simply told him in no uncertain terms that I couldn't do it on my own anymore and he was going have to sort it out and help (I think it might have involved handing over a screaming baby at 3am and going to sleep on the sofa one night though that period is a bit of a blur).

Now he is super lovely and I haven't even considered smothering for weeks :)

Since DS came home from hospital we have always had the rule in place that I deal with night wakings as he was ebf. However I reserve the right to wake DH as and when I see fit for any reason. He occasionally said 'ds slept through didn't he?!' In the early days. He now waits for me to say how the night was before commenting...!

Thanks for tips everyone. It is difficult as I an breast feeding so obvs have to get up most of the time.
However, I have managed to put the fear of god into him by suggesting we put one twin on bottles alternate nights and sleep in separate rooms with one twin each so he bottle feeds one and I breast feed the other. He has suddenly become extremely understanding of my predicament and has been offering to get up with them in the morning. Unheard of.

He doesn't think the bottle thing is a good idea though. I wonder why?! Grrrrr

Nancy you are a genius.

If you want to do the alternating bottles, I think that's fine. How old are the DTs and have they had bottles yet?

Haha thank you snatch.

Tbh I think I have let him get away with not doing enough for far too long. The bottle solution was more to scare him really as I would prefer the dts to stay in the same cot for the mo.

They are 12 weeks on thurs. dtb takes a bottle really well but dtg doesn't like it! We give them a bottle of f or ebm on an eve in the vain hope they will sleep better (dtg has been refusing bottle for past two weeks so I have been breast feeding her but it doesn't make her sleep any less) . They're not sleeping that badly (I don't think) they tend to wake two or three times a night (but that makes four or six for me, unless tgey wake at the same time). Well I thought it wasn't that bad but my mil has just told me that her colleague's baby of the same age sleeps from 8 til 730 so I suppose mine is pretty bad in comparison!