Four year old is stilling getting out of bed at night but one year old sleeps through!

[Janina]

We would really appreciate some advice.

Our four year old still gets out of bed in the middle of the night and wants to be with us. We have a ten month old also and his sleep pattern has always been much more predictable - he sleeps through the night most nights, probably because we have been much wiser second time around!!

We've blamed ourselves because when our first was born, we didn't really establish a "proper" sleep pattern (as everyone always advises!). He had a light on in his room, and he would wake up as bright as a button at 2am wanting to play!!

What can we do now to encourage our four year old to stay in bed till morning? Believe me, we have tried lots of tactics.

Has any one else had the same issues?

I have the same problem, some nights I don't here her (also age 4 1/2) coming thro. We did for a while try putting her back to bed, but its a bit of a problem is you don't even know they are there til the morning. Her twin sister sleeps right thru like a log by the way and her elder sister never got into our bed.

Thanks for your comments Helen. In the last week, our four year old has slept through three times (the first time he has done this in about a year!). There's no predictability to it; we can't put it down to anything. Having tried all tactics, we've concluded that he's a sensitive child and just likes to be near us, which is fair enough! I suppose it only becomes a "problem" when parent and/or child see it as a problem. We are trying to take the "weight" out of this issue, but sometimes it's hard at 2 in the morning when you've just got into a deep sleep! We're both light sleepers so always get disturbed when he comes into our room!

It's horrible waking up tired. SOmetimes at the weekend I have an afternoon nap to catch up, or even 10 mins quiet time ina an evening. I wasn't a light sleeper until I had kids (I've been known to fall asleep in a night club). But we've wondered if it was the neighour going on early shift or the heating coming on etc etc and like you say can't find a pattern. We've tried shutting doors and starting her off in our bed and moving her when we go to bed. I was hoping school would make her so tired she'd sleep thru. So I guess she'll grow out of it. But talking to my mum, she said my sister used to come into bed and the wet nappy between themm was a wonderful contraceptive. And by the way I had 2 of them last night and a cat trying to attack my toes.

I wasn't a light sleeper until I had kids either! I suppose I feel more pressure at the moment to get a good night's sleep because I returned to full-time work last September, and I've found it really hard to function in my job while getting broken sleep. To be honest, it all got too much a few weeks before Christmas; I found myself in tears a lot and felt like I didn't have any time for myself (and I'm a person who needs time for myself - just to get my thoughts together and to have some space!) I thought I was coping OK with working full-time - both children are really settled well in nursery and I am happy that they go to nursery because I can see the benefits in our older son, and even already in our 10 month old. However, things got stressful for me when our younger one seemed to be catching one bug after another (of course, from nursery). What do you do when you have no family support around and of course your child needs you to be with him? Of course, you stay at home to look after him, but then the feelings of being torn between two lives (i.e. family and work) occur. I'm still working out that one, but I think I've reached the conclusion that you definitely CAN'T do both!! I thought I could, but I can't. Something has to give, and I certainly don't want it to be the children and my marriage. So, I'm in the process of re-thinking my whole life and future at the moment (thanks to the doctor who has signed me off work with depression). That's why I've had the time to find this site which has been really interesting!

I felt the same way, and I've found a lot of different threads like this. I went back to full time work with eldest daughter at nursery in the morning and childminder in the afternoon (so no lunch hour), and twin babes all day with the same childminder. Dh starting Ou course, and very new stressful long hour job. No family nearby etc etc. You feel like you're running to stay still. My final straw was when eldest started school and wasn't happy with the lack of aftercare arrangements there, and crying alot. I ended up shortening my hours and arranging to work from home if need be. Is that possible in your job?? is it emotional tiredness (arrange a nightfor yourself to destress and don't even think about what housework is waiting) or physical ? if can you think about a cleaner to help? or even arranging a night to yourself. Happily things have improved, the girls are a lot older 7 and 4 now and I get the evenings to myself. Maybe it's an option to be a full time mum until they go back to school?? Have a look around on other threads - it might help with whatever you decide. And let us know what you decide. In the meantime look after yourself.

Where can I buy a sleeping bunny clock? Our 3 1/2 year old gets up in the middle of the night and comes into our bed and goes straight back to sleep.We've tried putting him back but haven't been consistent as we actually get more sleep with him there than spending an hour putting him back in his room time after time. Someone told me about a bunny clock with eyes which you can set to open at a certain time. So if the child wakes and the bunny is still asleep he has to go back to sleep; if bunny's eyes are open it's OK to go into mum and dad's room. Does anyone know where I can get such a clock?

Fionn, the sleeping bunny clock is from Great Little Trading Company. I bought it for my son and it worked once - maybe. The novelty factor has definitely worn off, and now he only looks at it if we've forgotten to put it to sleep and he wakes up in the night and shouts the bunnies eyes are open!

ffion, just a suggestion that worked for me: bribery! My (4yo) ds consistently stays in his own bed and is very proud of himself every morning. He gets a reward if he does and something taken away if he doesn't. I'm hoping that soon we can forget the rewards and it will be a habit he keeps to naturally. He's been doing this for about 2 months with great success so far. HTH

sorry, spelling: fionn, not ffion.

Thanks to Paula1 and Wickedwaterwitch. I've just looked it up on the GLTC website. £19.99 is a lot for something that might not work, so I might try the bribery idea first!

A Sleeping Bunny Clock update - it works for us! I showed the picture in the GLTC catalogue to my son and explained how the clock worked and that if we bought one he would have to stay in bed until bunny woke up. He was really excited to get the parcel and couldn't wait for bedtime to try the clock, and, much to my amazement, it's worked every one of the 5 nights that we've used it. He really enjoys putting bunny to sleep, and although he has woken during the night most nights, he's called out rather than getting out of bed, so I've been able to go in to him remind him that he can't come into us until bunny's awake, and he's gone back to sleep in his own bed. He seems to like having a "reason" to stay in bed (other than just being told by us!. I can see it wouldn't work for every child but I recommend giving it a go.