Sleep deprived

[Daland2]

Help, my 9yr old daughter won't sleep. Once tucked in she will come out again and again, complaining about one thing or another. There is nothing wrong with her as I get no complaints at any other time. It seems that telling her its bedtime and time to sleep triggers that constant attention seeking. She was awake past 2am last night and 3am the night before. Help. Any suggestions gratefully received. I am losing the will to live

I hope I don't sound harsh but I would tell her that she can't come out of her room once it is bedtime. Even if she cannot fall asleep she is old enough to deal with it on her own. Be very firm. Have a sit down with her about an hour before bed and askifthereis anything bothering her or ifshe would like to talk about anything. Then, once it is bedtime, refuse to get into lengthy conversations with her.
Good luck.

Not harsh at all. I have said worse to her, I have tried this and I have tried taking things away from her. Her latest thing is to come out every 5-10 mins to tell me that her tummy hurts and she feels safer out of her room when there is something wrong with her, she has done this consistently for the last 8 nights.
I have spoken to her teacher, who tells me there is no problems at school. When I ask her why she keeps on doing this, she tells me she doesn't know why. Initially I thought it might be hormonal changes but the tummy ache complains start as soon as I tuck her in and say it time to sleep. Is this just attention seeking or do I need to see the doctor about her? I am running out of ideas.

I remember being anxious at night at around your DD's age. I would worry that I wouldn't fall asleep and hated the 'pressure' of lights-off time. I still feel like this when they turn the lights off on a plane!

Assuming she is experiencing something similar, you could try telling her it is ok if she can't fall asleep as she has her favourite books to read, can think about exactly what she is going to do on Christmas Day etc etc. Take the emphasis off of sleep and make it about snuggling in her pjs with a story.

Could you put on a tape(or cd I guess, or her mp3... gosh that made me feel old) of nice music or a story? I hated bedtimes at that age and for years a parent or sibling would have to sit in my doorway as I feel asleep so I knew I wasn't the only one awake. Then one day they couldn't so mum offered me 50p if I would stay in room and listen to one of my story tapes. Worked fine, and then I would listen to a tape a night and usually fall asleep part way through second side.

As Fish said, something to distract from pressure to sleep could help