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Original poster

5 year old ds never slept through HELP

8 replies

desparatemum · 08/04/2006 13:33

My 5 year old ds has, as the title suggested never slept through the night. He is extremely sensitive (gets scared of ANYTHING)but in some ways is very confident (started school in sept and loves it!).It is probably my own fault for not being firm but I hate to hear him screaming and looking so scared at nights when all he wants is "a hug". He is very clingy during the day too and will follow me from room to room (even the loo!)Now he is 5 I really need to get him to stay in his own room as there's not much room in our bed!! have tried lights on, bribery, charts,stickers, rewards and forfeits, drugs prescribed by doctor (had absolutely no effect!!)have even spent about three nights sleeping on the floor outside his room.(He got up and came and snuggled in next to me). What do I try now???

OP posts:
dandycandyjellybean · 08/04/2006 20:30

I know you are going to think that this is hard, but, in my opinion, he may be oversensitive because he is getting the message from you that lots of stuff is scary. i.e. staying in bed by himself, crying by himself for a bit, basically anything that involves him being by himself, coz you won't let him do it. I truly do know it's hard, but you need to instill him with confidence, that it's okay, you trust that he will be okay, and you do that by letting him do it. Even if to begin with, it might be scary for him (and you). But, if you go in say every 5-10 mins and reassure him that all is well, but then leave him, he will (eventually) get the message. Hugging him when all he wants is a hug, lets him know that every time he is scared of something he should retreat into your arms, which I know kind of sounds right, as a mum, but truly, our job is to help them cope with the world, not be scared of it. We can't protect them from everything, and the best protection we can give it to help them to cope. Truly......Smile

Polgara2 · 08/04/2006 22:37

Dm you have my sympathy! We've not that long since been through the same with dd2 (5)! Tried many of the things you mention but in the end we just had to let her cry it out Sad. We would go and reassure her a couple of times, make sure there was nothing wrong etc but eventually ignored her. Very, very, very hard to do and I could still cry now thinking about it, but it DOES work. She still has the odd night of getting up but on the whole she sleeps brilliantly. My SIL is a child psychologist and we did this on advice from her in the end.

Original poster
desparatemum · 09/04/2006 11:43

Thanks to you both for your advice. I suppose deep down I know I have to just grit my teeth and get on with it.Polgara2 - how long did you have to let her cry? Weeks or months?!!
Cubby - it does sound hard but thank you I understand what you mean. Will perservere!

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zippitippitoes · 09/04/2006 11:49

I think you have to make him confident that he is safe in his room at night. Does he have a light by his bed which he can switch on? Can you teach him to look at a book if he wakes up, a cd player story to put on quietly or one of those teddies that has a recorded message when you press it's tum.

Polgara2 · 09/04/2006 13:01

DM it wasn't that long really, about 10 days in total BUT she wasn't crying (or should I say howling) for the whole duration. After about 5 days she was still waking up but going straight back to sleep after reassurance from us (and also by then she knew she wasn't going to be allowed in with us). It is very hard I wont pretend otherwise but it is also very worth it!!

Original poster
desparatemum · 10/04/2006 18:22

He is getting better at this! We leave him a night light on and his door open. He will fall asleep by himself (after a little cry) when there is activity going on and he can hear people moving around. The main problem is he only sleeps for a couple of hours at a time and when he wakes at 1.30am for instance we are usually too comatosed to put up much resistance! I now have to find him a clock that tells him when it is morning ( a simple alarm clock should do it) cos his latest trick is coming in saying "is it morning yet?"

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Polgara2 · 10/04/2006 18:59

Ah yes we had that! We have our heating set to come on at 6.30 and told dd it wasn't time to get up if it wasn't on Grin (Her room is next to the tank so she can hear it). Trouble is, the instant it comes on she's in!!!

Original poster
desparatemum · 11/04/2006 19:37

Well last night although it took ages for him to go to sleep he only got up about 4 times. At 6.15 this morning I said he could come in for a hug!! Fingers crossed may be getting somewhere. Either he is growing out of it or I'm being tougher!

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