Combined bedtime 1&3 year olds

[Iggly]

Right, I need help.

Need to sort out bedtime routine for our 1&3 year olds.

At the moment both DH and I are around for bedtime luckily. I take the youngest (she's BF) and DH sorts the eldest out (DS). However as I work, both me and DS would like to have a bit of bedtime together.

It's not working at the moment. I try and out dd down first then join ds/DH. But usually it's too long so DS just gets overtired and takes ages to settle after waiting up for me.

It also feels too over engineered. Sometimes it's easier when it's just me doing bedtime because I'm a control freak as I can do it exactly my way. Too many cooks and all that.

Can you tell me your bedtime routines - I need inspiration.

My two dd's are same age. I give dd1 3 years old her bedtime milk downstairs and she watches tv while I put dd2 1 year to bed. Dd2 has a bottle in her room and then into bed so about 15 mins or so, a bit longer on bath nights. Then dd1 comes up and she gets ready plus a couple of stories and sleep. If we are both home we just do the same routine but one child each or together if dd1 is particularly tired

Dd2 upstairs 6.30 and sleep 6.45 ish
Dd1 upstairs 6.50 and asleep 7.15 ish!

Wow! I'm guessing DD1 has no nap? DS still does and I think that's why he takes forever to go down but he can't seem to go anymore than a day or two without it

Dd1 rarely naps unless she is a bit under the weather or done something v energetic. If she does I let her have about 10 mins power snooze and then give her a nudge. Seems to give her enough of a recharge to get to the end of the day but if she sleeps for half and hour or more she would be up until 8pm - that has happened before

DD1 is 3.9 and DD2 is 1.9. They've been sharing a room for the past 6 months as DD3s was due (and arrived) 3 weeks ago. We've been very lucky with DD2s sleep, always happy to go to bed but I was dreading it. We tend to go upstairs anytime from 6ish onwards, bath every other night, watch a bit of tv, read a story and put them both down together at 7pm. Sometimes they talk, sometimes whinge but usually both asleep fairly quickly. I was so nervous about them going in together thinking they wouldn't sleep eye but all been fine from day 1.

Have you tried just doing the same routine and putting them down at the same time?

Yes ds sleeps at 8 which is why I don't put them down together. Plus they both (!) still wake at night although ds is usually because he's wet the bed. I was going to try the same room when dd is down to one waking but I am dreading it. Hoping like you illveholidays that it won't be too bad.

What's different when you do it on your own ?

I put da down with a bottle usually between 6:30-7:00 then dd gets to watch tv downstairs with pjs on, then I will spend a little time with her (4) and then take her up. But they are in the same room so have to make sure he's gone off.

Both of mine have slept better since they went into the same room. It's not all night every night but better.

3.6 and 1.6 here. Both given up on milk at bed time, but 6 months ago, when I was still feeding, which is where you are now, we did:

6.30 upstairs for a shared bath.
DS2 out, into PJ's
DS1 out, into PJ's
Teeth, into our bed.
Feed DS2 while propped up on pillows, snuggling DS1, and reading bedtime stories.
DS2 into cot, DS1 onto toilet, then a very quick snuggle (10 sec) in his bed before lights out.

No daytime naps here since 2yrs 1 week (ie when DS2 arrived!)

Mine are the same ages; DS elder has no structured naps, DD younger will nap about 2hours morning or just after lunch if we've been out.

Generally it's bath time 6-6.30pm; get them both out and dressed. Into DD bedroom for teeth washing and have short story with her and DS, or some Flower Fairy poems.

She is left around 7pm; I then take DS into bed for more stories and lights out 7.30pm. DS needs us to sit with him but will usually drop off within 5 minutes. If they are really knackered and bathtime is on the early side (6pm) their bedtimes come forward to about 6.30pm and 7pm.

I'm going to have to change soon though so she gets proper story time. At the moment she likes her sleep.

When I do it solo, dd stays with me, but ends up sleeping later and then is quite hard to settle.

We don't use tv at bedtime because ds gets too wired, which is annoying!

I think I need to suck it up and drop DS's nap then life will be easier!

DD is 14 months and DS is 4.6, we've just changed our bedtime routine up a bit as DS was kicking around in his room for ages after lights out, so we needed to move his bedtime later, but keep DDs where it was, so we've added some downstairs time.
6.30ish bath
6.45-7ish stories
7-7.45 Quiet Time for DS while I feed DD down, which can take a long time if she's napped more than once in the day.

It's worked well and DS has been quiet when he came up for bed, essential for this to work when we move her into his room, but the real test will be when DH is working late and I have to send him downstairs on his own!

Mine are 5, 3 and 8 months.

In general, 6.30pm they all get in the bath together. The baby gets out first so the big ones can have some splashy time and ds1 who is normally holding ds2 can have a good play (he loves holding his brother in the bath, sees it as his job and just sits there stroking him and kissing his hair :)). If dh is here then I spend time getting the baby into pjs, maybe give him a massage etc. If he isn't then baby is stuffed into pjs quickly somewhere that I can still keep an eye on the big ones. Then back to bathroom, big ones out and we all brush teeth.

Then we all troop upstairs, ds1 goes into his room to put his pjs on then we all gather in dd's bed where each child chooses a story. Dd then snuggles down, we move to ds1's room and tuck him in and finally I feed the baby to sleep and put him down.

Sometimes when dh is around he takes the baby up to dd's room and ds1 and I read together, we usually have a nice chapter book on the go together.

I don't find it practical to put the baby down first to spend time with the big ones, if I want to do that then it works far better to have dh take the baby and distract him for 10/15 mins for me to do some special story time.

My two are 2 and 5 so a bit older but the routine we have now we started when my youngest was tiny.

So (if they needed one) bath-time together. When DD was really small, DS would 'help' and then jump in after her.

Then everyone brushes their teeth, puts their pyjamas on, and we all get comfy on the big bed and read stories. When DD was small, this is when I fed her.

Then we transferred to bed! When DD was smaller, this usually involved a walk through the house with baby attached to boob. DS into bed while I continued to feed DD (on slightly uncomfortable chair).

Lights out. Sing songs. DS asleep.

Finally DD into cot or when she was really small, back into my room and into her Moses basket.

It was easier to do if DH was around but fine without. And it's all contingent on (a) DC sharing a room, and (b) feeding to sleep!

Nowadays it's bath, teeth, pjs, story, into bed, lights out, songs, asleep. They both do it together. Dead easy (I'm so lucky!).

I have two, DS 1 & DD 3. They are bathed together about 6.30, then youngest is taken out by one of us and dressed, given bottle and settled by 7pm. Eldest finishes off her bath while this is happening, gets dressed and then has story in her room about the 7pm mark. Usually DS is asleep straight away at 7pm and DD gets 15 mins story/wind down then drifts off within 5-10 mins after that. DD does not have a daytime nap now though and I think that would definitely cause problems at bedtime. DD gets up about 7am and DS usually anytime from 6am (if we are unlucky) and 7.30am on a good day.

So I would vote for dropping the nap.